Two movies titled Hitman enter, only one will leave (with its title) as Herman Davis, David Vitrano, and Robert Rau watch the Timothy Olyphant video game adaptation and a 70s blaxploitation film to determine which deserves the title Hitman.

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has received another celebrity endorsement, this one coming from the weapon involved in the 2012 killing of Trayvon Martin.

ONCE UPON A WAGON…

Pete and Re-Pete spotted it first as the wind blew ripples of sand around their hooves. In the distance, amid the distortion of rising heat and low trailing plumes of red dust, a wagon could be seen drawn by two tired mules.

Athens, GA – (SatireWorld.com)
Police in Georgia believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation, a suspect managed to sneak a gun into a prison last Monday by concealing the weapon in his rectum.

The Streets of Bordello Falls..............

Dried mud crackled under worn and heavy boots as two dusty figures worked their way down the arroyo. Wisps of dry clouds high above gave little shade as the Arizona sun burned their backs and parched their throats as dry as a rattlesnake’s tail.

The couple, Mr and Mrs Taylor, both agree the wind energy is a fantastic idea but just not for the local area since they don’t like the look of the turbines.

LeMonade: MI5, the British security service that came to fame in the James Bond movies, are so paranoid that the country will vote to leave Europe on 23rd June that they tried to put a bug in Boris Johnson's hair, according to an insider Brexit supporter.

BEIJING, China (The Adobo Chronicles, Hong Kong Bureau) - The territorial dispute between the Philippines and China is over. China has officially laid claim on the Philippines. The claim ends years of dispute between the two countries over who owns the Scarborough Shoal, a group of oil-rich islands in the South China Sea. He Jia, anchor…

June 11, 2270 - One day after telepathically blasting President ZX7 on Twitter for implementing new antimatter fusion subsidies that will cost his state thousands of coal mining jobs, Kentucky Senator Faggypants Murphy backed up his thoughts with words criticizing the Commander and Chief.

‘This represents the single greatest scientific discovery made by man to date,’ said researcher Dr Lillian Nicholson.

Austin, Texas – (SatireWorld.com)
Texas penal authorities have instituted a new policy when it comes to serving those facing the death penalty. The usual ‘last meal’ won’t be like it has been for thousands of other prisoners who awaited their final moments by chowing down on virtually anything they wanted as a last meal before facing the state’s executioner. Inmate Lawrence Brewer was put to death last night for the hideous crime of dragging a man to death, but not before becoming the last man for a last meal.

Buckingham Castle (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)

Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from her Royal Highness that forbids her son Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain for the next several months. This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article published on Wednesday.

A Surrey couple is enjoying a deep sense of fulfilment today because their new detached home in Guildford is the largest amongst their peer group. Recently married Tom and Pippa Whittaker are now eagerly arranging a housewarming party to underline the vast difference in floor space when contrasted with the homes of their best friends....

Vain Manor—The Trump campaign is reeling after allegations have surfaced that involve The Donald’s personal butler encouraging the assassination of our sitting president on social sites. Mr. Trump is standing by his long time friend, “My butler is a great man. He’s the best, great man and he is totally innocent. First off, he would never say stuff…

“Has Howard Beal been re-incarnated?” you ask yourself as Money Monster attacks the screen before your very eyes. No … and there aren’t any flashback clips of Peter Finch stalking a TV news set either. But George Clooney comes to us as Lee Gates; not unlike...

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

A virus that infects human brains and makes us more stupid has been discovered, according to scientists in Boston.

The Donald Trump presidential campaign slogan - stolen from Ronald Reagan's 1980 presidential campaign - appeared to be a catchy, but essentially meaningless phrase meant to appeal to a growing number of Americans who were hopelessly ignorant of civics and history.

The white powder was used to bake a batch of buns, one of which Berry ingested; it was then that she went ‘off her tits’ as one neighbour and witness stated.

NEWARK, NJ (The Barbed Wire) - Graffiti and vandalism have been taken to the next level by a flock of angry birds who are apparently very pissed off at cell phone carrier Verizon Communications, Inc. The birds may have been exacting revenge for the deaths of several of their feathered friends who were killed by Verizon workers while they were replacing old cable wires and making repairs to cell phone towers in the area recently.

Willing to litigate until the cows (or his chickens) come home to roost, the late Lord McAlpine was a staunch defender of people’s reputations – provided they did not work for him in the construction industry.