'‘The train ran over my legs and it was bloody agony but at least I didn’t have to talk to anyone. It was really irresponsible of him to try and engage me in conversation.'

In an election where political experience and policy has increasingly taken a backseat to childish name calling, Hillary Clinton upped the ante today with the announcement of insult comic Lisa Lampanelli as her running mate.

At press time, Alabama had already pledged to strip women of the right to vote.

El Paso, TX – (SatireWorld.com)
The Frito Bandito, a former thief, cowboy, and pistolero from Mexico, has been granted amnesty by the INS at the urging of the Obama White House. The bandito has been living as an illegal alien in El Paso, Texas since his ad campaign and reign of terror for Fritos Corn Chips ended in 1971.

Wrexfan

Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, shocked the party establishment and ended months of speculation by picking his running mate: Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi. Trump skirted immediate criticism of Berlusconi’s as a non-citizen by saying, “We’ll find him a nice, quiet American beauty for a...

The White House – (satireworld.com)
Michelle and Barry Obama were said to be shocked after learning that Vladimir Putin has embargoed the export of famed Russian Caviar and Stolichnaya Vodka to the US in retaliation for the regimes sanctions placed on 12 anonymous Russians over the Crimea diplomacy debacle.

London UK – (satireworld.com)
British actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films, admitted today that one of her “fake nudes” posted on the internet is actually her. Watson, who is twenty-four years old, is the subject of thousands of photo-shopped nude pictures on the World Wide Web.

The news is a major blow for an England team who held serious aspirations of getting as far as the second round of the competition before losing on penalties.

"Ew. I hate it when there's nose hair on my bells." Harry Zonderblurb, Pornographer

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

The Romanian hacker “Guccifer” (extradited to the US) claims he told FBI agents and officials of the US Department of State (DOS) he had “easily” hacked Clinton’s private email server. “Guccifer” claims to have hacked TOP SECRET emails that were sent during Secretary of State Clinton’s (SOS) tour of duty and posted them onto the Internet. The USDOS and Clinton’s presidential campaign officials have dismissed the Hacker’s claims that her server was hacked, as completely “unfathomable.”

The Streets of Bordello Falls…..Part 4

—7 Aces Don’t Make No Sense—

Buck and Diablo dried themselves off from their bath and quickly dressed. “We better look like real wimmins or those towns folk are gonna know it right quick. Don’t want any funny questions coming up neither."

Buck pulled a package from inside a cotton bag, ” I found these mixed in with that leather pouch coz-metics or sumthin it said on the package.”

Buck held up a tube of red lipstick with a French name on it and a box of powder and rouge. “We best put this here shit on ‘fore we’s go outside and down to that

The singer of ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ and (presumably) other songs had been reported missing and fears quickly grew that the singer had been successfully terminated.

HIROSHIMA (The Barbed Wire) - Later this month, President Obama will make a trip to the site of the world's most famous bomb blast, to make an apology for former President Roosevelt dropping a more powerful bomb. The F-bomb. Many Americans believe Obama has no place apologizing for Roosevelt's F-bomb because it was perfectly understandable at the time.

The Streets Of Bordello Falls….Part 3
Roll Out The Barrels

The creak and groan sound of the heavily laden wagon carried far down the rutted and worn road, but it was the trail of red dust that the town’s people noticed from a distance as they silently walked out onto the town’s wooden boardwalk. Hands shielded eyes as they strained to catch the first glimpse of a rare wagon making its way up to the Bordello Falls town.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - It's not even half way through the year, but already, Time magazine has narrowed down its choices for the 2016 Person of the Year. The two finalists are both politicans -- one from the East, the other from the West.  One has just been elected president…

'Health and Safety was a passion of Hitler,' remarked another, 'with the idea that all workers could be equally safe no matter which state they worked in.' Another historian added, 'and where do we start with Human Rights?'

 

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...