Due to its mammoth nature it is being dubbed ‘Ultimate Weapon’ and, according to some scholars, a very similar creature was described in Mayan scripture.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - The contest between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders for the Democratic presidential nomination is heating up, and millenials as well as septuagenarians have jumped into the fray. Are you with Cher, or are you with the millennials?

Due to scheduling conflicts, Knick is joined by his wife Carole this week in lieu of James. Knick thanks Carole for joining him by annoying the snot out of her for almost an hour.

On a Friday afternoon not too many months ago, I found myself sitting at my desk with a burrito in one hand and Type 2 diabetes in the other. The diabetes was in my burrito hand, as well, since technically, it’s just in me all the time, but I digress.

He shouldn’t have to apologize, just like gorillas in the zoo shouldn’t have to apologize for throwing their feces at the people watching them.

One day after LSU officials announced the school’s live tiger mascot has a rare form of cancer, Louisiana lawmakers fast-tracked a bill authorizing the state’s Medicaid program to cover 100% of the animal’s treatments.

Are HIpster Beards Really Alien Parasites? Is Human Race's Only Hope a Salesman Capable of Destroying Horrible Hipster Beards Through the Power of His Mind?

Singer’s "1989" album considered "groundbreaking."

‘I beat him so bad that I thought he was going to cry,’ said Dave. ‘Piece by piece he went down and all he took from me is a couple of lousy sacrificial pawns. He’s got a long road ahead of him if he ever wants to beat me. God, I feel so alive!’

Bodger & Badger featured Badger as a character with a love of mashed potatoes but soon life imitated art and Badger cultivated his own love of mashed potatoes; a love that became an addiction.

Michael Gove claimed that the car was clearly a wreck and that Cameron should have simply walked OUT of the garage in Minster Lovell, Oxfordshire. However, Cameron apparently remained IN the workshop to try to negotiate a series of improvements.

by Humor Times.The author of the ‘Ripping the Headlines Today’ column is a finalist, and eyeing yet another award! Paul Lander is a finalist in the 2nd Annual Bloggers Bash Awards in the “Funniest Blogger” category, for his Ripping the Headlines Today on this very website. Voting for the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards closes on June 9th [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Aviation experts are opening up for the first time about airplane crashes, admitting that no one really knows how airplanes manage to stay aloft in the first place. They also admit being “totally stumped” as to why all aircraft don’t immediately plummet back to the ground after takeoff.

Brady Peterson of Bridgewater, New Hampshire discovered he is 98% douchebag on Ancestry.com this week.

Orlando, Florida – (SatireWorld.com)
As the jury entered their controversial verdict over the first degree murder charge against Tot Mom, Casey Marie Anthony stood accused of duct taping her two-year-old daughter Caylee’s mouth and nose closed after administrating a lethal dose of chloroform, new revelations have surfaced in the way of the defendant’s confession to reporters who were granted a special interview today.

"I don't know what has gotten into Conrad lately. He can never be wrong. It's like Conrad no longer has any grip on reality, and blatantly lies about everything," explained Hazzard, an electrician and married father of two.

‘They’ve been getting on like a house on fire,’ said the anonymous member of Johnson’s staff. ‘It’s like listening to a couple of teenage girls talking. They share how they maintain their luxurious heads of hair and then they giggle like schoolgirls as they randomly spout out their favourite racial slurs.’

Both Paul and Dana took to Facebook to complain about the lack of quality TV shows on that night; statements that were supported by a combined NINE likes. Yet they still managed to wile away the evening by watching six hours of TV with each other in near silence.

With a resurgence in fears of both Godzilla and Romanians, British filmmakers have discussed another possible reboot of the Godzilla movie franchise by pitting the Japanese monster against a Romanian immigrant.

Syria—The head of the self-proclaimed Islamic State, Abdul Mohammed-Edlestein, is claiming responsibility for Donald Trump. ISIS worked diligently to infilitrate the Donald’s personality and promised a “really great deal”, if he agreed to work for them as a double agent. “We promised him cars and girls,” said Mohammed-Edelestein. “The usual. We did this using a…