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Stonehenge tour guide buffoon Charles ‘Rocky’ Stone has taken his employer to court for unfair dismissal. Stone 56, was fired for misleading tourists with ill-informed facts and research. Stone commented: It’s a gross injustice. Some of my Stonehenge facts may be disputable but they are also undeniable. I grew up in Stonehenge – as kids we’d […]
A lot of animals out there haven't had the proper education when it comes to sex, which is obvious from all of the stupid YouTube videos of idiot dogs humping each other's heads.
In the wake of violent protests and the removal of controversial statues across the USA, human statues are reporting an increase in hate crimes.
Tweet Tower—Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller said he was “as surprised as anyone to find a bonafide gun still emitting smoke not a hundred feet from the Oval Office.” During a preliminary sweep of the building, Mueller also found empty beer cans, a live chicken, and an inflatables sheep. “None of these are in and of themselves…
Even cast members of Logan Lucky don’t really know who Rebecca Blunt is. A person so named is credited with writing the screenplay for this new Steven Soderbergh film. If a woman, perhaps she’s a sister to Emily Blunt… though I’d guess not.
White supremacy evidently doesn't apply to Family Feud, judging from one racist family's performance on the popular game show.
Los Angeles, California – (

Astrologers studying Monday’s upcoming solar eclipse are bullish about the impact on West Coast anal skin lightening facilities according to an authoritative op ed.
TORONTO, Canada (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - Some 50 container vans of balut, the Filipino delicacy of boiled duck embryo, has been found rotting in an undisclosed port in Canada. The shipment was imported by a local company for distribution in Filipino and Asian groceries and supermarkets throughout Canada. Balut is extremely popular among Filipinos and…
Black Hills, SD – (

Federal workers announced an escalated the war by the shadowy Alternate Leftist group Antifa whose activists have demanded Civil War statues be removed and all history be re-written in a manner that soothes anyone’s hurt feelings.
Saul Friedman sat and stared at the grave. “Lucy, Lucy, Luce-Luce-Luce,” he snorted, as he burst into tears. There was no frickin’ justice in this world; that’s one thing for sure, ah hah hah… But these assholes! These frickin’ assholes! “Fuck you!” Saul shrieked at the top of his voice, shaking his fist at the […]
That's right, women used to spend their menstrual cycle in a tent, free from all men and sanitation. After testing, I agree, it's a bloody great idea.
President Trump has agreed to turn what could have been a global conflagration into a quite literal war of words.
But Spock, there’s a cool pub near there!
Not-so-veiled threats to Alaska coming from the White House after health care vote failed. Rachel Maddow stole my punchline. Or more accurately, she beat me to the punchline. Federal powers that be are trying, in their thuggish way, to put Alaska under their tiny, tiny thumb.
"If I have to choose between renting to a filthy, seething mound of disease-laden roaches wearing a trench coat in a futile attempt to appear human, and an actual white supremacist nazi, I’m going with the mound of deceptive bugs."
Gary Choad, an avid white piece only chess player and current resident assistant at UVA, has lost his marbles.
Antarctica – (

Climate Change hot air suffered yet another blow this weekend following the publication of the Western Antarctic Research Base report about volcanic eruptions under the Ross Ice Shelf.
The focus of investigators since purchasing The Mirage Casino in Las Vegas with winnings he collected from a halftime Super Bowl wager on the New England Patriots in February, 47 year-old former quantum physics professor Daniel Morrissey also reaped millions from bets he made on the Chicago Cubs in October, less than two weeks before the November, 8th election.
Sure, you may be worried your teen has succumbed to the latest drug craze, but it's also likely he's just the apocalyptic repayment for centuries of evil and injustice.
All snacks sold on British roadways will be made fit for human consumption by 2040, The Ministry of Transport, in conjunction with the major service station chains, has announced. The move is part of a Europe-wide campaign to phase out ‘dirty’ foods from petrol garages and stop-off food courts, but will also affect ‘hybrid’ meal...

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