WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The campaign of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced today it fired an adviser named Sam Nunberg for making racist statements shockingly similar to those Trump makes every day. Nunberg was fired after it was discovered he made offensive Trump-like statements on social media in 2007 and 2008. Nunberg denied he ever stated them, much like Trump would in his position.
STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Jerry Springer, the host of The Jerry Springer Show and former Democratic mayor of Cincinnati, announced he was changing parties so he could run for the Republican presidential nomination. Springer said he was running to "add some civility and decorum" to the Republican field of candidates, which he described as "lying Neanderthal clowns."
Summer holidayers across the world have been warned not to eat ice creams while crossing busy roads, according to the United Nations.
While two fellow drivers looked on sniggering, an Amazon delivery man demanded steak and chips then punched the customer in the face when the request was refused.
Taliban fighter evades capture, but succumbs to gaming addiction Dec 1st, 2001 — the date Mullah Mohammad Omar fled Kandahar, Afghanistan’s second-largest city, on the back of his donkey named Kurt. As the Taliban’s supreme commander and social outings organizer, Mullah’s decision to fade into anonymity has had a heavy impact on...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - No publicity is bad publicity. A new Adobo Chronicles® poll shows Donald Trump leading all Republican candidates for president by 40%, up from 20% the previous week. Trump's surge has been attributed to the killing of Cecil, the Zimbabwe lion by an American dentist, an incident that has outraged…
PALO ALTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have announced that they are having a baby girl. This, after revealing that she has had several miscarriages. The proud parents posted a family photo with their dog Beast on Facebook. Zuckerberg even revealed that during an ultrasound, the…
Daily Mail thrown into turmoil after revelations that they have been unwittingly encouraging asylum seekers to come to Britain.
Lion killing dentist Walter Palmer has more skeletons – literally – in his closet. Walter Palmer, the American Rambo impersonator, who shot, killed and then took a selfie with famed Zimbabwean Cecil “the Friendly Lion,” is now one of the most hated men in the world, and the latest breaking story involving the douchebag dentist...
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, civically-challenged Americans across the country announced they were looking forward to Planned Parenthood being defunded after highly edited and deceptive videos were released making it appear the organization was profiting from the sale of aborted fetuses. Not only has this group of conservative and anti-choice Americans ignored the fact fetal tissue is used for critical medical research to combat diseases like ALS, but it also believed a Senate vote expected as early as Monday would defund Planned Parenthood all on its own and forever.
From Edmonton and Calgary to New York City; from Las Vegas and San Jose to Melbourne, tickets to the Tony Award-winning musical, 'The Lion King,' have been selling out in just the last few days, thanks to the killing by an American dentist of Cecil, the beloved lion of Zimbabwe. The outrage and outpouring of…
Gun safety tips of questionable integrity.
America's youngsters lead the world in swearing and name calling proficiency, a new study shows.
In news that will bring joy to animal lovers everywhere, it was discovered that dentist Walt Palmer did not kill Cecil, ‘King of the Jungle’, and instead only shot two poor, desperate Zimbabweans dressed up in a furry suit.
‘I stood my ground, just like my hero, George Zimmerman,’ says lion killer dentist BLOOMINGTON, MN — Fugitive serial animal killer Dr Walter Palmer, the U.S. dentist who shot and killed Cecil, the Friendly Lion, said today that “at the time” he felt his life was threatened and had acted only in self-defense.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, the College Board released the new AP History curriculum with changes demanded by American conservatives since 2012, when a retired history teacher named Larry Krieger took offense to the fact AP students weren't learning about the "perfect America" in his mind. When the Republican National Committee (RNC) learned the AP History curriculum also conflicted with the America in its collective head, it declared war on the College Board and demanded it emphasize "American exceptionalism and patriotism, and less of the inconvenient and...
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie told Fox and Friends that he was "not mad, just stop citing stupid poll numbers." Christie has consistently been polling lower than the margin of error in most national polls of likely Republican primary voters, and will not be eligible to participate in the first Republican debate being hosted by Fox News next week if that continues.
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