Check Please!
Cairo, IL – (
Meet Chasworth A. Rodham.
Mr Rodham has an interesting lineage. For the better part of the 20th century 89 year Mr. Rodham has lived with a story that only now has come to light in a book authored by him with the help of his grandson Elmer Longtree. ‘Being Owned By Hillary’ is a 235 page book which traces the Rodham family roots back to South Carolina to a small plantation owned by the relatives of the present Hillary Rodham Clinton, a 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate.
Local carpenter and union member Claude Livingston said that he’s extremely upset that this game could still be played in a capitalist society.
Washington DC – (
Two friends join each other for dinner at a downtown Washington DC steakhouse. Barry O’Mara and Matt Romley have known each other since they were college roommates at the University of Chicago. Barry is a law professor and Matt is a Wall Street financial adviser. Both gentlemen are on a business trip in the nation’s capitol.
The White House – (
On his national address scheduled for later in the day from the White House the President is ready to unleash his latest plan to thwart ISIS and radical terrorism by increasing American unemployment to reduce the amount of workplace violence blamed for the recent bloodbaths around America!
You know that thing Donald Trump said or did that everyone is freaking out about? The one that has people in his own party pulling both their hair and their hamstrings as they try to run away from him? The incident that everyone in the media insists is the “final straw” that will cost him the election?
What’s this I keep hearing about Donald Trump and his campaign reminding people of me and my victorious 1968 presidential run? Who the hell are these idiots who keep spewing such crap? That’s got to be the most asinine thing I’ve heard since I assumed room temperature.
Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton by nearly an 11-to-1 margin according to a new poll published this week.
“Get me ice cream.” That was the text message Nick Melancon received around 11 p.m. on the evening of August 12, amid the torrential rain and numerous flood warnings in Baton Rouge.
Amid widespread speculation about Hillary Clinton’s health, a doctor has come forth with a shocking revelation concerning the Democratic presidential nominee’s medical condition.
Since December, when I published “Eleven Reasons Why Donald Trump Is Not Adolf Hitler,” lots of things have happened, prompting more people to draw more comparisons between the Republican presidential nominee and the fascist leader of Nazi Germany. That’s why I’m offering these additional 11 glaring differences between the two men to illustrate why this is still not a fair comparison.
Despite their state’s reputation for myriad, chronic natural disasters, numerous Californians insist people shouldn’t live in Louisiana after recent unprecedented flooding.
Gold medals are easier to attain than they used to be, say critics, who have called for the introduction of a Gold Plus medal.
In related news: kids caught playing twister in tornado alley.
In a new development, it appears that Donald Trump’s biggest protesters are no longer on the campaign trail, but in his own home. He and wife Melania got into such a screaming match today that the secret service broke into their room...
Owen Smith was completely unaware he was in Scotland, not Wales, but didn’t let the laughter or mock booing stop his impassioned argument.
Washington DC: (
On January 20, 2016 President Obama gave his seventh State of the Union (SOTU) address to a joint session of the Republican controlled Congress, the Supreme Court Justices, White House officials, invited guests, the news media and the American people.
Hollywood, CA – (

Actress Lindsay Lohan has offered to perform oral sex on everyone in America who voluntarily buys tickets to see her next movie. The former child star and one time Disney actress has seen her career decline as an adult, partially due to her drinking, drugs, partying, out of control lifestyle, and arrest record.
"His hands could get a reality show all of their own if his latest project doesn't work out. #ReleaseYourTaxReturnsTrumpo"
Washington, DC – (
As part of the GLADD, NAMBLA, and transgender community’s outreach program, the Uncle Herbert School of Childhood Diseases and Molestation has received its first installment of a $2 million dollar grant from the Department of Health and Human Services completing a decades-old search to have the school’s inclusion with-in the federally protected sexual predator community.
In an effort to avoid any further crippling budget cuts, the NHS will open its doors to weary travellers looking for an affordable place to lay their head down for the night.

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