Fugitive ex-Marine claims Trump assassination attempt faked - alleges that he shot Trump months ago, but both targets were actually inflatable decoys! Other conspiracy theorists assert that whole thing pre-recorded in film studio - like the fake moon landings - with crisis actors. Question remains - if only fake Trump targeted, where is the real Trump?

Are desperate Tories planning to take another leaf out of Trump play book by trying to discredit election result? Top academic claims they might follow example of US Republicans and claim that voters 'hijacked' by phantom polling stations or even set up fake polling stations themselves on election day, in order to divert non-Tory votes....

Religious hate group denounced by government revealed as limited company run for profit by wealthy Tory donors. Did Tory government invent security threat in order to engender culture of fear in run up to election? Newspaper investigation claims whole religious cult faked in order to pursue government's 'Culture Wars'....

Struggling right-wing news channel's new reality TV show puts ordinary family into midst of wartime Britain complete with rationing and deprivation. Family involved complains they were traumatised as TV company went to extreme lengths for realism, including bombing their street, and strafing their grandmother with live ammunition.

Is a phantom flasher terrorising an English town? Are local children being subjected to spectral exposure by a vengeful spirit? As local vigilantes dig up local graveyards in search of deceased sex offender, spirit itself contacts medium to protest innocence of peadophilia in life, claiming post-mortem antics are payback against his former persecutors....

British online monkey torturers outraged at outsourcing of their activities to cheaper sadists in Far East by organisers of online monkey torture rings. Rejecting allegations that use of baby monkeys implies cowardice on their part, top UK torturer claims Far Eastern torturers simply not zealous enough, failing to deliver value for money to customers.

The Irish/UK conflict over illegal immigrants crossing the border from Northern Ireland to the Republic has escalated into an actual shit-throwing contest. Drive by shit flingings in North blamed on Irish militants protesting at strain the extra crap is putting on Dublin's sewage system, while Northern Irish paramilitaries retaliate by firing canned shit across border.

Why is the government urging people to stockpile three days worth of supplies in their houses? Allegations abound that government scaremongering to terrify people into voting Tory at general election. Insider reveals Tory schemes to scare voters with stories of fish men marauding up British beaches, alien invasions and plagues of woke rapists.

As Stephen Hawking revealed to have been guest on Epstein's right-wing fantasy island, conspiracy theorists speculate as to how quadriplegic physicist was able to participate in alleged orgies? Did it involve mechanical assistance, advanced puppetry or even magic? Are right-wingers using Epstein affair to project own perverted fantasies onto opponents?

Is the amount of human waste floating in Britain's rivers proof of the existence of giants? Cryptozoologist controversially claims giant humans are using our rivers as sewers, depositing their outsize jobbies in them. Plans to track these elusive creatures by following their gigantic spoor.

What is the truth behind Tory MP's desperate late night call to local party treasurer pleading for money? Was he being held against his will in a sex dungeon over an unpaid bill for whippings? Or was he held for ransom by irate rent-boys furious at his encroachment onto their territory? Or was it all an elaborate scheme to embezzle party funds?

Is a Washington fast food joint actually a front for a child cannibalism cult serving flesh burgers to liberal degenerates? As acolytes of latest crazy right wing conspiracy theory attack burger restaurant, experts dismiss claims as being yet more extremist fantasies and label its followers as 'deluded'.

After refuse-filled missile strikes Brussels, spewing stinking household waste across city, UK is accused of running secret scheme to dispose of its rubbish by firing it off in rockets. Despite denials by British authorities, suspicions linger that rain of effluent over German city might also have been from malfunctioning UK waste disposal missile.

As Reform Party drops candidate who turned out to be dead, journalist claims that fringe party is deliberately deploying corpses as candidates as elderly base of support starts to die off. Further alarming allegations that fringe parties could be planning to reanimate dead supporters to boost support, amid reports of polling station overrun by zombies!

Police raid on chain of budget undertakers reveal alleged running corpses-for-hire racket. Were dead bodies being rented out to fill out sparse crowds at football matches, concerts and Tory party meetings? Anti-immigration political candidate claims some bodies skinned to provide 'suits' for illegals to pass for white!

Are the world's cities under attack from titanic human trumps? Top scientists claim recent series of city levelling natural disasters actually caused by huge vegan farts. Are a group of vegan extremists holding world to ransom, threatening to global destruction unless whole globe gives up animal products?

Are a new subterranean underclass emerging from beneath the streets of London's wealthiest districts? While right-wing commentator claims that strange figures seen in empty millionaire mansions are evidence of 'immigrants in the walls', top scientist claims albino beings descendants of domestic staff abandoned and trapped in mansion basements.

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he addresses the perplexing case of 'My Haunted Arse'. Can a person's posterior be haunted and produce supernatural phenomena including apparitions, disembodied voices and strange sounds? The Rev investigates.

Is a dating app for S and M enthusiasts being used to lure Tory MPs into 'honey trap' for purposes of blackmail? Backbench Tories apparently being enticed into 'torture dungeons' with anonymous photos of genitalia, then photographed while being bound and beaten. Security Services baffled as to who is behind plot.

Hurricane Lee remains a large, major hurricane that is creating dangerous surf and rip currents off the U.S. East Coast as it bears down on a reporter standing in a small rowboat one thousand miles off the coast of North Carolina.































































 
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