Check Please!
WASHINGTON-A local man was outraged earlier today by being forced to buy a companion airplane ticket for the sex slave he keeps in a dog carrier.
New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
One of the premier traits of a entrepreneur is the ability to spot trends while they are undiscovered and then be able to move fast in order to capture the market lead and reap the financial windfall. Without saying, the past success of presidential candidate Donald J.Trump has been his unique ability to see trends and take advantage of ways to maximize profits.
"So, is that five howls out of five, or just one big howl out of five? These dog reviewers confuse me." Jessie Krufts, Physicist
AOL, Yahoo!, and CompuServe made up the three biggest internet companies of the 90s. It’s believed that Verizon must have access to a time machine which they plan to use to go back to the 90s and dominate the early days of the world wide web.
Michelle (formerly Michael) Rowland, 36, will now be able to claim full benefits for all six of his/her imaginary children.
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - When First Lady Michelle Obama takes to the stage tonight at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, she is confident that her speech will not be plagiarized by Melania Trump or any other person. Obama has filed a copyright petition of her speech with the U.S. Patent and…
Big Booty Airlines, Miami – (SatireWorld.com)
Political bystanders were convulsed in laughter today after noting that Liberal Dems’ egos seem to even bigger than their pronounced body parts!
The latest evidence of hubris is that of ex-DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz,(DWS) who claimed “my arse deserves better” after being ‘stuck’ in a business class seat on the Washington to Palm Beach Shuttle where she was heard pleading, “help me, my ass is stuck and I can’t get up!”
Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)
Just How Stupid Does Hillary Think Voters Are?

The Democratic National Convention kicked off today with swirling rumors there was collusion between Debbie Wasserman-Schultz emails and Hillary Clinton concerning the sabotage of the Bernie Sanders Presidential campaign. This accusation highlights the unfair Clinton advantage that cost millions of dollars from Bernie donors and countless hours of the Sander Campaign volunteer’s time.
MIAMI – (satireworld.com)
After a round of Tweetilities, an act of hostilities on Twitter, with ex-presidential candidate Rand Paul over the subject of abortion, DNC mouthpiece Debbie Wasserman Schultz laid out her own views on the subject. Abortion should be safe, free and legal at any age of the child. (We assume this means up to the moment of birth and not after, but we’re trying to verify this with Wasserman’s office.) In the meantime, keep your children close.
A local accused rapist has been found to be very skilled at throwing a football during football games...
It’s the first time a judicial ruling on a haircut has been made since the famous ‘Barnet formula’, which created a precedent on rhyming slang for barbers which has now passed into Geordie Shore.
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is “appalled”, but Bernie Sanders is “satisfied” with the decision.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
The Smith family from Ipswich have beaten the world I-Spy record by 3 minutes while waiting in Dover to get through customs in France.
Dark Titan of Terror, the King of Conquest, the Sultan of Severe
Headaches – few epithets of evil and despair haven’t been attached to this legendary ruler.
Matilda, the popular tricerabot, has alleged that Sir Killalot would consistently chase her from behind and poke his lance right up her recharge socket against her wishes. She also claims she told the BBC of the incidents and was roundly ignored every time.
Peoria, IL -0 (satireworld.com)
An Illinois couple says they got a huge surprise after a burger run to their local McDonald’s.

Debbie and Hans Mirth ordered a double cheeseburger at the Golden Arches drive-thru. After returning home and unwrapping the meal, they discovered it contained real meat, Mirth told a reporter from local NBC affiliate WXCR
Broward County Florida – (satireworld.com)

When it comes to paying up after losing a bet, you can now count on Debbie Wasserman-Schultz as a promise keeper. When Florida State beat Notre Dame this past Saturday, Debbie grabbed a Bic razor and quickly shaved her girlie-mustache.
But she cheated!

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Former President Bill Clinton was forced to finally acknowledge what has long been suspected; Chelsea is NOT his daughter with long suffering wife Hillary!
The student, James Whatley, had been steadily building the pile of dirty dishes over the course of many months.

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