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Today Pope Francis told the assembled poor and displaced that god "holds you in his great hands" and would "try His very best to do good things for you, despite putting you through endless misery, including poverty, famine, and death.
President Donald Trump praised himself today for doing an "excellent" job during his first month in office, said "America, you are god**mn lucky to have me," and commented on "Koala Lemur" [sic] [Kuala Lumpur] "where those little bears are, very cute."
Indeed there is no Santa Claus, and we can definitively say it would be impossible for one man to visit all the children in the world in one night.
'It all started when me and Spicey were watching Melissa McCarthy's portrayal of him,' said President Trump today. 'He thought they went too far and it would be funnier if they toned it down. But I thought 'Why don't you actually attack the press with your podium like she does?''
Taos, NM—Paleoproctologist, Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Lube is back in the news today. The controversial scholar has announced his intention to create a facility off the coast of South America for the purpose of cloning dinosaur tissue. Dr. Hogbein told the press he plans to “bring taco Tuesday up a notch.” Critics of the…
Ashley Nicole Black interviewed black activists remembering the civil rights movement in an exquisite five minute segment on Full Frontal, which includes great footage from the era.
Boxer-turned-Senator quotes bible to argue against discrimination based on gender identity.
QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Whenever one hears the name Manny Pacquiao, boxing always comes to mind.  Like a fist fight. And that's exactly the challenge hurled at the boxer-turned-senator by a Philippine transgender congresswoman. Geraldine Roman of the first district of Bataan and the first transgender legislator in the Philippines,…
Twentieth-Century Fox announced today that it was greenlighting a film about the infamously nonexistent Bowling Green Massacre, where two Iranian nationals failed to blow up dozens of people using improvised exploding devices in Bowling Green, Kentucky.
In a press conference yesterday, President Trump said, ‘You know what uranium is, right? It’s this thing called nuclear weapons. And other things. Like lots of things are done with uranium. Including some bad things.’
Don't sleep, look tough, protect yer job. Not exactly the healthiest work environment.
I have a confession to make: I'm the man behind the Incredible Hulk. But I've gotten older and my angry shenanigans have become tiresome over the years.
So called 'Fake satire' websites such as BBC News and CNN have been entertaining readers with hilarious quotes from Donald Trump and stories of Britain's attempt to negotiate its exit from the EU, even though they claim that they are merely reporting what they call 'reality'.
Alec Baldwin and SNL come under fire Trump has begun to realize that his overuse of the term “fake news” whenever anything critical of him is written in the press is getting old and losing its credibility, even with his supporters. He has decided to take a completely different tack.
Media veteran Brian Haldane catches up with Jeremy White and Sunny Weathers and get caught up on several termination-related stories and former LSU basketball great Vernel “Asante Stone” Singleton’s adult entertainment career.
While golfing at one of his courses in South Florida, President Donald Trump conferred with his caddie regarding an upcoming shot and classified intelligence.
Top army officials have been forced to admit that they’re uncertain whether recruitment levels are down or if camouflage is just getting better, according to latest reports.
Pressing the most aggressive campaign against federal regulation in a generation, President Trump is working swiftly to eliminate rules that restrict everything from risky business practices on Wall Street to incest and environmental pollution.

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