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A man dressed as a man has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.
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Biloxi, MS –  It all went down at a small Piccadilly Cafeteria in Biloxi.  All the food sat in the back room freezer waiting to get the call to the microwaves and the food lines before human consumption.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Citing a major conflict of interest, Justice Anthony Kennedy said today that he will be recusing himself from further deliberations and the eventual vote by the Supreme Court as it prepares to issue a landmark decision on gay marriage in the United States. The Supreme Court is expected to rule…
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Every student who entered the 2015 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words.
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DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) - Texas is among the 32 states that still have the death penalty on their books. The Lone Star State is known for the most number of executions. In an effort to rid itself of the unsavory reputation as the 'killer state,' and to cut down on the state government's enormous…
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How do you put an end to transgender bathroom discrimination in a country that thinks its own genitals are tools of the devil, much less anyone else’s? Simple...
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Let’s not ban the latest racist word and simply wait for the next one to come down the turnpike. Let’s seize control of the process and pick the next one ourselves.
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AUSTIN, Texas -- Nine bicyclists were critically offended and dozens more were irked after a confrontation at a downtown Austin restaurant led to a slew of insults being fired.
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Researchers at the University of Southern Ohio have completed a survey of the world’s kinkiest professions. Many of the sciences ranked highly, but none quite as high as mechanical engineering
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"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
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Just when I thought May was going to breeze by without anything Horrorscope-worthy (Cinco de Mayo is overdone, Memorial Day is at the end, etc.), Louisiana state Rep. Mike Johnson swooped in with a fresh batch of ridiculous.
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Councilman John Delgado joins Jeremy, Sunny, and Sunny's vibrating testicles to discuss Gov. Bobby Jindal, lecherous teachers, and dead BASE jumpers. Wilborn Nobles and Elbis Bolton also introduce their POWER app.
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Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.
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Hockey is awesome and it plays on televisions in sports bars. People watch those televisions and drink alcohol.
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LEVITTOWN, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that it was raining spiders in Goulburn, Australia. It seems the Aussies had it much better than residents of Pennsylvania, U.S.A. A Levittown family says their daughter's Sweet 16 birthday party was ruined when a passing airplane dropped human waste on the celebration Sunday evening. Joe…
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Being locked up deprives you of plenty of things that make life bearable — surgical gender reassignment can simply be added to the list.
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Businessmen – what a bunch of scumbags, eh? Yeah, that's right, I'm dissing businessmen, in fact, I'm being anti-business. Heresy, I know, in today's political climate, but the fact is that businessmen and their businesses are no good...
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ST. LOUIS, Missouri--Tension filled the air here as protesters gathered outside the police station to voice their anger over the shooting death of yet another unarmed, unlegged black resident. Witnesses claim that Tyrone Harris, a 54 year-old father of four, was apparently attempting to cross the street at an area not marked as a crosswalk…
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Following a deadly shootout among five rival motorcycle gangs at a Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco, TX, the head of the Hooters restaurant chain reminded Americans that they can still eat subpar food served by garishly sluttified women in relative safety at his company’s eateries.
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GOULBURN, Australia (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many of us have heard the phrase, "It's raining cat's and dogs," and it's really more of a figure of speech.  We've also heard "It's raining men," but that's a 1980's hit song by The Weather Girls. However, in Australia, when one says, "It's raining spiders," it really IS…

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