Me and my buddy Ralph heard that they were going to have discount boob jobs at Walmart. We want to sign Ralphs sister up for the service because she is the carpenter’s dream (flat as a board) and a treasure hunter’s dream (a sunken chest) all rolled into one. Patricia is a nice girl and all, but she’s so boobless that she could wear her bra backwards and no one would notice.
Some are saying it was a revenge motivated ‘accident.’ Others are saying it was a practical joke. Insiders at the White House are saying the breech of security has Valerie Jarrett steaming mad over her personal photo release, and in particular, several photos that were secretly taken by the CIA in 2009.
Hoping to cash in on the successful match-up of actor Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Walt Disney Pictures announced the start of filming for the controversial movie biography of Subway pitchman Jared Fogle with Depp starring as the beleaguered spokesperson now serving 18 years in prison for child molestation.
The story carried in USA liberal media (TV and newspapers) about Democratic President Obama making snide remarks (during a US election year) about “foreign leader’s being rattled by presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump” was false. The problem was due to a bug in an artificial intelligence translation computer, translating Obama’s words directly into Japanese and then back into English for US consumption. Here is the actual translation.
Wall Street – (SatireWorld.com)
The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Analysts cited a massive failure of the company’s two year old advertising plan in which five million dollars were spent and not a single bag of the charcoal briquettes were sold.
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