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Masters, known as Little D to his former female friends, has been forced to admit his life has been a bit of a waste of time after yet another failed venture.
Ben Harris, 29, from London, has persuaded himself that is practising yoga as the only man in a class of 20 is purely for stress relief and to improve his flexibility. The fact that he has tried his luck with six female members is purely coincidental, he said.
by Michael Egan.‘I have no idea what that stuff is made of, but it sure as hell ain’t no human follicles,’ said the dying fly from Donald Trump’s hair. NYC – In an exclusive interview published in today’s Insect Times, the fly that got stuck in Donald Trump’s hair reported that it has “no idea what that [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom,
Me and my buddy Ralph heard that they were going to have discount boob jobs at Walmart. We want to sign Ralphs sister up for the service because she is the carpenter’s dream (flat as a board) and a treasure hunter’s dream (a sunken chest) all rolled into one. Patricia is a nice girl and all, but she’s so boobless that she could wear her bra backwards and no one would notice.
OAKLAND, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - "I want to be a champion for Oakland and all the other Oaklands in the country." With these words, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton put this California city on the U.S. map, big time! Clinton made this promise during a visit to a local restaurant at Jack…
The White House - (
Some are saying it was a revenge motivated ‘accident.’ Others are saying it was a practical joke. Insiders at the White House are saying the breech of security has Valerie Jarrett steaming mad over her personal photo release, and in particular, several photos that were secretly taken by the CIA in 2009.
Campaigners for Bill Cosby to become president of the US have now admitted that their candidate may now be too inappropriate to run for office, with his imminent trial for assault making him slightly less palatable than Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.
What do we know about Republican foreign policy? About as much as they do, nadda, nichts, zilch. We do know they want to bomb everything that moves. On that note, my friend Keith is screwed. When polled, nearly a third of our rightwing citizenry want to bomb Agrabah (a fictional Disney city). True story …not about Aladdin,…
by Will Durst.If you’re not pissed, you’re not paying attention. We’re all riled up, angry birds. Arrrggh! Grrrrr! The sound of many teeth gnashing. Foot stamping. Fist pounding. Heavens shouting. The soundtrack of modern life. Folks are just plain angry. Furious. Indignant. Incensed. Irate. Enraged. Outraged. In a constant state of road rage, with or without the [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Blair, who has admitted that the Iraq war was a bit of a cock-up that led to the rise of the ISIS terrorist network, has said that electing Jeremy Corbyn would be a step too far.
‘What devil of sorcery is this?’ asked Arba Tidge upon seeing a cocktail served in an actual cocktail glass. Arba, the asexual, androgynous (and yet still bearded) leader of the group posted the picture on Instagram and panic and confusion quickly spread.
"I agree, the first guy was a bit letchy. The second guy though was a little bit too cute for this reviewer. 3.5/10" Harry Zonderblurb, Film Reviewer
Hollywood, CA – (
Hoping to cash in on the successful match-up of actor Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Walt Disney Pictures announced the start of filming for the controversial movie biography of Subway pitchman Jared Fogle with Depp starring as the beleaguered spokesperson now serving 18 years in prison for child molestation.
In what’s being called the largest case ever of widespread butthurt, millions of people around the world are claiming to have been somehow hurt by Johnny Depp, prompting therapists to ask them to show on a doll where the actor touched them.
The former host of The World of the Psychic stated he had many friends who’d had visions of what Britain would look like outside the European Union.
Miami, FL – (

Satireworld sources reveal the American who killed himself in a suicide attack in Syria was from South Florida. He lived in Cutler Ridge and went to Miami High School until he quit school in 2010. He was 20 years.
Shima Japan – (
The story carried in USA liberal media (TV and newspapers) about Democratic President Obama making snide remarks (during a US election year) about “foreign leader’s being rattled by presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump” was false. The problem was due to a bug in an artificial intelligence translation computer, translating Obama’s words directly into Japanese and then back into English for US consumption. Here is the actual translation.

Wall Street – (
The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Analysts cited a massive failure of the company’s two year old advertising plan in which five million dollars were spent and not a single bag of the charcoal briquettes were sold.
TMZ has finished construction of a tiny probe capable of entering and exploring Kristen Stewart's butthole.

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