HADES – In an unprecedented interview, the Devil announced tonight that he and the Republican Party had struck a “new and historic” Faustian bargain* together.

The ageless popstar, and singer of such hits as ‘Living Doll’ and ‘Devil Woman’, has had his named dragged through the mud once more after prosecutors were handed evidence in regards to historic sexual assault allegations.

Hillary Clinton to receive certificate for "good job" keeping America's secrets while she headed the State Department.

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Filipino boxer and presumptive senator-elect Manny Pacquiao had said that gay people are "worse than animals." An American woman legislator is worse than Manny Pacquiao. Newcivilrightsmovemet.com reports: State Rep. Sally Kern on Wednesday stood in the Oklahoma House chamber and delivered a speech announcing that…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - It was a secret, quickly-arranged meeting, captured only through the lens of an iPhone.  Philippine presumptive President-elect Rodrigo Duterte came face to face with presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.  It happened in an undisclosed penthouse office in New York City. Duterte, described by Western media…

I have to take the signs as they come. So how bad is it going to get? Let’s find out by looking at one of the many commemorative weeks in May.

Gov. Rick Scott, of Florida, announced his administration has kicked off an effort aimed at attracting to the Sunshine State morons currently living in Louisiana.

Service enthusiasts Abellio Great Anglia are to replace their London Liverpool St to Norwich service with the Jakobshavn Glacier from Greenland, it has emerged.

Why is everyone getting this Trump thing so wrong? Trump didn’t kill the republican party, Beauty killed the beast. Actually, stupidity killed the beast, but the death of conservatism, under the weight of its own ignorance is not surprising. Today’s Grand Old Party is like that donkey Eeyore on an Alabama tilt-a-whirl—a sad state of affairs all…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

‘We were all stood there waiting for it. Even the Chinese have grown used to it and were expecting it. But it never came. Prince Philip just stood there smiling and nodding,’ said one anonymous Royal aid.

ST. LOUIS, MO (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - For over a century, Budweiser has been one of America's favorite beers -- regular or light. The beer was introduced to the market in 1876. Today, Anheuser-Busch announced that it was changing the name of this local beer to America. The St. Louis-based brewing company says…

Knick and James both watched Captain America: Civil War last weekend, so naturally they’re going to spend an hour spoiling the snot out of it. You’ve been warned. I mean, they talk about other stuff, but mostly important plot points from the film.

I’ve never been good at getting blood drawn. Note here that I am not a little man, so this is remarked upon frequently by those tasked with stealing my blood from me.

Knick and James are reunited and it feels so good. They get into a lengthy discussion of worthless mutant abilities, talk about what they’re looking forward to this weekend, and figure out the best way to get Captain America to touch their genitals.

Jay Ducote and his pal Chuck P., of BiteAndBooze.com, join Jeremy White and Sunny Weathers for a special Cinco de Mayo Eve tequila tasting episode at El Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant, featuring prized specimens from Raul Urdiales’ private menagerie of sexily bottled tequilas.

The Republican Party is irreparably maligning the name of America’s most revered president by continuing to call itself the “Party of Lincoln,” according to a lawsuit filed by Abraham Lincoln’s only living descendant.

Burlington VT- (satireworld.com)
The grand opening of “Bernie Sanders Travel Boutique” was held last weekend at this city located on beautiful Lake Champlain. Large crowds were not expected, nor did they show up as this business location is a boiler room operation that caters to: rich Hollywood stars living in Malibu CA; Democratic millionaires; former Hillary Clinton staffers, Democratic Party officials and liberal Democratic politicians; and ex-MSNBC TV news personnel. These people are all dissatisfied with the possibility that Republican presumptive nominee Donald Trump will win the presi

In celebration of our hundredth issue and our hundredth editorial, we present some classic rants against Tory bastards, middle class kill joys and horrible hipster beards.