Ted Cruz has been spotted in a host of locations, prowling the streets while muttering aggressively to himself. The scariest thing about the reports is that he has often been spotted in several locations AT THE SAME TIME. This had led many to believe that Ted Cruz could have supernatural powers.

WEST VIRGINIA (The Barbed Wire) - Hillary Clinton has been talking tough in recent months about driving coal miners and their industry out of business. Her talk caused voters to swat her away and give the state to Bernie Sanders in an easy victory in West Virginia's primary. Immediately going into damage control, and realizing she would need West Virginia’s electoral votes in a general election, Hillary explained to the state’s voters that she only recently found out that coal is used to produce most of the country’s electricity.

In a move that could spell heap big trouble for the Republican party, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has recruited Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) to go on the attack against putative GOP nominee Donald Trump.

Thomas Conley is a retired patent attorney and grandfather of four who in April went to a North Omaha Applebee’s, accompanied by two friends who are also rich white men.

The summit will see swine lovers from around the world gather to talk about how wrong it is to dip their pork soldiers into the farmyard animals in the hope that it will put an end to pig related bestiality.

Facing unrelenting pressure to release transcripts of speeches she made to Goldman Sachs in 2013 -- for which she was paid $675,000 -- Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton says that she will act when her opponent, Vermont senator Bernie Sanders, does the same.

One week after suspending his run for the presidency, Senator Ted Cruz appeared before a sparsely attended press conference to announce his decision to also suspend his life.

An area U.S. representative has called for the abolishment of the Capital Area Transit System and replacing it with a publicly subsidized, privatized, ride-sharing program.

A small group of musicians has been hired to repeatedly play the song “Nearer, My God, to Thee” for the entirety of the last Republican National Committee Convention this summer, according to party officials.

I’ve heard and read posts from a number of you describing this election as a choice between the lesser of two evils. And while that is a wholly accurate expression for this predicament, there’s another idiom that is more instructive regarding this unholy dilemma: “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”

In a surprise upset, supporters of Donald Trump have overwhelmingly made the CBS TV show NCIS the winner of tonight’s West Virginia Republican presidential primary.

Trump continued, "I won't have a war veteran and huge hero tarnished just because he wants to support me, or because he is dead, or because he was maybe - maybe - a Nazi."

Wall Street, NY - (satireworld.com)

The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company of Davenport, IA filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Analysts cited a massive failure of the company’s two year old advertising plan in which five million dollars were spent on branding and not a single bag of the charcoal briquettes were sold.

Amidst David Attenborough's 90th birthday celebrations, a dark side has been revealed to his extraordinary longevity which implicates him in the uncommonly high number of celebrity casualties this year. Sources close to several of the dead, including Prince and Paul Daniels, have spoken of a visit by Sir David in the run up their deaths, followed by the discovery of a large black leech on the underside of their beds in the days afterwards. One friend of David Bowie, who wished to remain unnamed, said "Attenborough has enormous experience of rare species and has spent time with some of the mos

Columbus, OH—The Governor of Ohio, John Kasich, still plans to suspend his campaign, but he promises to deliver a second and final concession speech that “will last all the way until the convention in July.” Senator Kasich told the press today, “This isn’t officially over until I say it is. And my plan is to take a long,…

‘We have some evidence that there could very well be an intelligent life form on Earth. We don’t know exactly what it is at this time but we do know that it doesn’t involve Donald Trump supporters,’ said Paul Hertz of NASA.

Butchers’ Union Members chief Ron Hart told us ‘We want no part in that woman fulfilling her dreadful promise. Our butchers take tremendous care to make the finest sausages possible and to think of one being stuffed up her backside makes me feel sick in more ways than one.’

The Philippines' Rodrigo Duterte and America's Donald Trump. The media have put them both in the same category: rogue candidates. Trump is the presumptive Republican presidential nominee while Duterte could be elected president of the Philippines in a matter of hours. Both unconventional when faced by questions from the media.  Both have shocked the electorate…

This week, North Korean teletubby Kim Jong Un has strained relations with UN member states by refusing to sign the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Photobombs. The happy-go-lucky despot has called on all war-mongering nations to 'lighten up and embrace the fun of unprovoked sabotage'.

The Lidl truck smashed into the back of a Vauxhall Nova that failed to indicate as it changed lanes, causing the wagon to flip over. Frozen goods spilled out of the back of the truck and across the motorway. All lanes had to be closed off to clean the spillage and remove the truck.