The study, which evaluates students' performance in an array of verbal abuse competencies including vocabulary, creative integration, indecency and volume, reinstated American children as the global leader in profanity one year after being knocked out of the top spot by Germany.

Following days of rampant hooliganism and violence at the UEFA Euro 2016, a spokesperson for ISIS -- which had hoped to carry out attacks at the month-long championship -- says the terror organization will instead just let soccer fans destroy each other.

My first meeting with a clinical dietitian was similar to the first conversation you ever had about sex. It involved a lot of explanation about things I was pretty familiar with but didn’t completely understand, and then a series of mind-altering revelations that made me feel embarrassed for not figuring it out earlier.

In response to Donald Trump revoking The Washington Post’s press credentials, the paper’s owner has banned the presidential candidate from the e-commerce site Amazon.com.

Southampton were reduced to 10 men after a failure to find superglue for striker Pele.

Baja, MX—For reasons yet to be determined a massive school of Republican superdelegates beached themselves along the Baja coast earlier today. Some theorize the burden of backing Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention was simply too much for many to bear. Today’s events throw doubt as to the relative health and competence of the Grand Old Party and it raises…

by Jim Hightower.For The Donald, it’s “Mexicans” vs “Germans”: The Drumpf family immigrated to the U.S. from Germany and changed their name to Trump. Who’s the foreigner now? This year’s freakish presidential election has now devolved into an ethnic brouhaha between two foreigners: A Mexican and a German. The “Mexican” is Gonzalo Curiel. He’s a federal judge [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Boris Johnson shot by police after manhandling child who climbed on his podium during Brexit campaign. Was former Mayor trying to protect child or had he gone ape?

"In all fairness they've probably removed the panther's teeth, but it would made a nasty sucky gum mark."

If trouble erupts, the 64-year-old singer will be flown into the war zone for a live performance of his 1985 hit ‘Russians’ in which he sings...

Transylvania USA – (satireworld.con)
President Obama’s favorite 57th State, Transylvania, held its Demonic Presidential Primary State Convention and Caucus (DPPSCC) last week, on the same day as the California Demonic Primary Election. (Transylvania is located between Ohio and Pennsylvania.) The Transylvania DPPSCC was overshadowed in media coverage by the California Demonic Primary, pitting former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (D-NY) against Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (D-VT).

The study was conducted with a group of eighty-seven volunteers over the course of ten years, using a range of people. The group ranged from those who kept up-to-date with reputable news sources multiple times a day, all the way down to those who just read The Sun. A strong correlation was observed between the amount of hard news a person consumed and how happy they are.

Red Shtick sources say LaRouge Mart on Jefferson Highway continues to do a brisk business selling craft gasoline for roughly 50 cents per gallon more than the competition, which suits customers just fine.

An avowed evangelical Christian has called for people to pray that she overcome her inability to pray for members of the LGBT community affected by the recent shooting in Florida.

In the wake of yet another highly publicized tragedy, the U.S. sympathy market has been flooded with condolences, both genuine and counterfeit, causing the price of thoughts and prayers to plummet to an all-time low.

"Do eggs come out the right way if the chicken lays like that? This video asks more questions than it answers.." Jessie Krufts, Questioner

South Dakota – (satireworld.com)
Recently, a terrorist attack on an Orlando Florida gay bar has been billed in the media as the worst firearm massacre in American history. That isn’t quite true once you check on historical facts.

December 29, 2015 marked the 125th Anniversary of the murder of 297 innocent Sioux Indians at Wounded Knee Creek on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota.

‘Mad Boris’ was Lucas’ breakout character in the late 90s but he has decided to retire the comic creation after admitting his faux political run has gone too far.

Several concerned citizens reported the presence of a gathering of day rapists outside The Home Depot on Raymond Blvd. this morning. The loitering congregation of approximately five weathered Latino men near the fence surrounding the home improvement store's garden center drew local Rob Bueker's attention when he arrived at the store around 8 a.m.

The mini-series which starred attractive people in skimpy outfits and the rest of us sweating profusely into our own eyes, opened to rave reviews just a few days ago leaving critics desperately wanting more - though an estimated 50% of the population is still to catch a single episode according to weather reports.