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Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.
In a complex conspiracy that even the host of Info Wars, Alex Jones, had trouble coming to grips with, the application to deliver content from his show turned out to be software that allowed Hillary Clinton to observe the movements of every single one of his fans.
Officers of Norwegian Cruise Line Hapag-Lloyd released new information today on the fatal shooting of a polar bear on Svalbard Archipelago last week, revealing that the 600-pound all-white bear was in fact armed at the time of his death.
London(UK)- (SatireWorld.com)
Implying that the late un-lamented pedophile Jimmy Savile brought “joy and happiness’ to underprivileged children in care facilities, the liberal British rag came out of the closet in support of granting ‘minority status’ to serial pedophiles in order to protect their ‘rights.’
Cirque d'Estre, France – (SatireWorld.com)
On Sunday, December 18, 1994, Jean-Marie Chauvet led his two friends, Brunel and Hillaire, on the Cirque d'Estre toward the far off cliffs. A slight draft of cool air emanating from a small opening at the end of a small cave attracted his attention on a previous trip, and he now wanted to satisfy his curiosity once and for all.
WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.” US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into…Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet ›The post U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.
Archaeologists in Wiltshire have carried out DNA analysis on 5000 year old human remains discovered near Stonehenge and discovered they originally came from Wales. A spokesman explained; ‘The fact that people were prepared to travel on foot from Wales to a windswept plain in the middle of nowhere is strong evidence that living in Wales...
Mick Zano’s approach to our current Russian investigation debate, if you can call it an approach, is to list 9 out of 10 unnamed fictitious “experts” from the future who will someday conclude that the FISA warrants were justified. Nice. I don’t have access to his futuristic technologies. My approach is to read the 4…
by Samuel Dunsiger.Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. You’ve seen the reports by now. Yes, ... Read moreMonologue: Sugar Wants to Work Things Out with YouSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Special Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner
Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com)

The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Enola Gay family since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold charcoal products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational industry.
Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)

Ebola’s Lounge and Buffet filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Owner Abe Ebola, who owned the popular bar and restaurant for 27 years, cited a long-term slump of loyal customer support and the failure of promotional material to lure new customers.
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) travels to Moscow tomorrow to trade US military secrets to Russia in exchange for video surveillance of Trump and Russian prostitutes engaged in one or more golden showers.
America has undergone enormous change during our lives. Today, America is a bitterly divided, poorly educated and morally fragile society with so-called mainstream politicians pushing cynical identity politics, socialism and wide open borders.

The president of the United States is threatened with impeachment because the other side doesn’t like him. The once reasonably unbiased American media media has evolved into a hysterical left wing mob. How could the stable and reasonably cohesive America of the 1950's have reached this point in just one lifetime? Who are the main culprits?
The modern world is such a topsy-turvy place these days. Everyone is going a hundred miles an hour, doing five things at a time, would it be any big surprise to any of us if we found out that at some point over the course of our hectic lives that we killed a few prostitutes? That in the midst of all those work meetings and family gatherings, press junkets and business trips that we bumped off a hooker or two?
Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight.
Militant vegans eaten by lions as they shout 'Meat is Murder' at big cats. Anti carnivore group affirms ambition to 'convert' predatory animals to vegetarianism. RSPCA brands 'carnivore conversion' programme 'animal cruelty' as allegedly successful subjects die of malnutrition.
Is latest Novichok attack further evidence that UK government being held to ransom by international crime syndicate? Or is Boris Johnson the criminal 'mastermind' behind plot to blackmail Prime Minister into implementing 'Hard Brexit'?
So, I was reading the other day as to how when the Queen finally shuffles off this mortal coil, we'll get two extra bank holidays: one for the funeral, one for the coronation of her successor. Which means that we'll have to hope that she pops her clogs during the Summer so that we'll have the best chance of being able to fully enjoy these extra days off...

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