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Tweet Tower—Scientists are questioning the large amounts of energy currently emanating from Trump Tower. Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Lube, told the discord today, “Profound amounts of energy are there and then gone again, as if a door is opening and then closing again. That’s when it hit me, he’s building a Stargate to…
Our president’s tumultuous time in office so far has conjured up for me a beheading with a crowd size even Donald Trump would be happy with. In Henry VIII‘s reign, he only beheaded two of his six wives — on average, that’s not so bad. And, Anne didn’t even know Putin!
Two days after lamenting the tragic nature of the American Civil War in an interview with the Washington Examiner, President Trump is now calling for a resumption of hostilities between the North and South since having been tutored further on the subject.
Get lots of bad press for golf, bad, but you’d spend most of your time golfing too if you were trying to distract yourself from everyone’s problems.
Nick Ferrari: So how much would 10,000 police officers cost? Diane Abbott: Well, erm… if we recruit the 10,000 police men and women over a four-year period, we believe it’ll be about £300,000. Nick Ferrari: £300,000 for 10,000 police officers? What are you paying them? Diane Abbott: Haha, no. I mean, sorry… Nick Ferrari: How...
Pyongyang, NK—According to both Washington and Pyongyang “the race is on!” Earlier today Kim Jong Un contacted the Governor of Arkanasas, Asa Hutchinson, and challenged him to a contest. Just as a missile exploded across Un’s private launch pad on the south lawn of Un Manor, the God of North Korea told Hutchinson, “How about round two, Arkansas? You try…
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
An interview between the President of the United States, Donald Trump, and CBS anchor, John Dickerson, ended in a physical bloody confrontation today after the president repeatedly refused to say what he thought about his predecessor.

The unprecedented physical fight, seen on CBS, below, occurred after Trump was asked his views on the wiretaps allegedly authorised by Barack Obama on Trump and his team during the election.
It appears ESPN anchor Ed Werder has been asked to come in on a Saturday.  And, if you would believe it, he’s gonna have to come in on Sunday too.
Try as they might, North Korea hasn’t had much luck with their rocket launches lately. They’d like to impress their enemies by showing off the nation’s military might, but tests have so far been less than intimidating.
May 1st, is known as May Day, a celebration of workers rights across the globe.  But, did you know that May First is also “Loyalty Day” in the United States?
NEW YORK (AP) – With demand for new homes skyrocketing, the housing market that for so long favored the home buyer is rapidly falling apart, and most analysts say the blame lies squarely with America’s new President, Donald Trump.
Fans are always writing me with the same question: “Liza, I’ve always wanted to travel the world and live an adventurous life like you do on your blog, but how do I do it?”
Wars involving bad hair and nukes are known to be the worst. Enterprising entrepreneurs out there might want to invest in a fleet of tractor backhoes and partial ownership of a limestone quarry, because it’s starting to look like bunker-digging time in America.
It’s Monday again, otherwise known as Xanax Day, and local lab specimen Ernie 13 is a rat reborn.
A senior Conservative has said Theresa May's new strong and stable government will be snazzy too, in an off the record briefing.

The 53 year old politician said that he had looked it all up on the internet and that the landslide conservative victory will also be 'ritzy', 'dressy', 'flashy' and 'trendy' in a responsible way.
Atheists and secular scientists around the world are pointing to the recent death of Joanie from Happy Days while Chachi continues to exist as further proof that there is no God.
Area man, Pat Myas, is a lover of all things Facebook, but his friends would never know it.
Low budget film director's use of Syrian conflict for filming war movie raises fears of unscrupulous film makers prolonging and agitating conflicts to produce cheap action footage. Astounding claims that World War Two extended by two years for benefit of Hollywood studios! Was Vietnam War staged by CBS?

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