Check Please!
With boss man bearing down on you, tilt your head to the left. His head will follow yours. Wait ten seconds. Hold the tilt like you would an ice cream cone.
Evidence of “voter fatigue” has been shown by a survey where a cross section of people were asked if they would like to punch the next person who asked a survey question. Speaking from a hospital trolley in Charing Cross Hospital, Ray Jenkins, a junior researcher for YouGov, said, “You bet they want to punch...
Kauai, HI—This trip proved the most challenging for team Search Truth Quest, at least financially. We would make both cryptozoological history as well as history of our flex funds. For this journey STQ was on the hunt for two Hawaiian heavyweights: a tribe of hobbits known as the Menehune as well as a 12-foot guardian lizard known as the…
Comey said just what they thought. It came as no surprise. “But do not tweet no matter what,” his lawyers did advise. So junior was the surrogate, who rolled out all the tweets as more news spread of Russiagate across the nation’s streets. The lawyer got the dates all wrong...
Robert Rau tells Sunny Weathers and Jeremy White about "9/11," a star-studded trainwreck starring Charlie Sheen and Whoopi Goldberg. You’ll never guess what it’s about.
In an effort to help address the drastic reduction in access to abortion services in the South, Blue Bell Creameries has announced it has created a new flavor for women with unwanted pregnancies.
Officials with the EPA shared the surprising findings of a study that looked at what might happen to a metropolitan area that tries to sustain more than one Golden Corral buffet restaurant.
All of the members of President Donald Trump’s Cabinet have had their gag reflexes surgically excised to help orally provide uninterrupted pleasure to their boss.
The high-ranking Republican is leaving Congress to become the new face of Buc-ee’s, according to officials with the popular Texas-based convenience store chain.
A financially strapped, dialysis-dependent supporter of President Donald Trump said he would gladly give up his life in defense of Republican efforts to kill countless Americans as part of their overhaul of the country’s health care system.
A former Miss Kentucky, the gorgeous, young Allison Markley attained international success both in fashion and on screen during the early 1970s, appearing on runways all over the world and in such films as "Accidental Disclosure," and "Someone Kidnapped My Daughter."
"It is completely untrue that we ever planned a story accusing Robert Robinson, Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell of behind the scenes sex romps with minors whilst recording Call My Bluff in the early seventies". More completely unfounded celebrity gossip.
The latest installment in the animated hit series 'Cars' has revealed a disturbing and dark underbelly of a group of our population that is normally portrayed with all the glossy doe-eyed innocence of little lambs.
Trump, who has authored 17 books (making him the first president to have written more books than he’s read), spoke directly to press today to confirm the tragedy.
Senator Bubble’s day had finally arrived. But most of all, it was America’s day! Wait… did I get that one the right way around? ‘Freakin’ straight on, Bubble!’ Alan roared. Bubble cleared his throat. He cleared his bowels, and then his throat again. Well, might as well make an effort, huh? ‘Alright, everybody!’ Bubble roared. […]
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
I recently had the honor and privilege of interviewing my jerk face friend, Mick Zano. We met over a beer in downtown Flagstaff to discuss fake news, satire, and what Zano calls the State of the Onion. We had our fair share of battles in the lead up to the election, as he was a little more…
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

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