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HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) - A federal judge in Hawaii issued a nationwide temporary restraining order Wednesday that bars the implementation of President Donald Trump’s revised executive order on immigration and refugees. This is the second blow to the president's bid to restrict U.S. entry for people from six Muslim-majority countries. Well, Mr. Trump…
Migratory birds are arriving at their breeding grounds earlier than they previously did because they’ve bought into the liberal lie that global warming is real, according to researchers at Liberty University.
President Donald Trump’s administration is strongly urging that any investigation into possible Russian influence in last year’s presidential election be led by a relatively unknown person with a peculiar name.
The Official Guide to Big Boy's Gestures (excluding nose picks and crotch scratching).
Are senior Labour party figures secretly planning to replace Jeremy Corbyn and Tom Watson with robots? Leadership 'upgrade' seen as essential after trials show mechanical leadership more charismatic and popular with voters.
Trump will leave Mar-a-Lago and the Trump International Golf Club to visit the White House and spend some time relaxing in the Oval Office.
In an effort to ‘clean up’ the Oxford Dictionary, the word ‘gullible’ will no longer be defined within its pages. The committee hopes this will cause the word to die out.

‘Calling somebody “gullible” is deeply insulting and offensive and we don’t want the dictionary to be a book of hate. After careful consideration we have decided to remove it entirely,’ said Ken Simon, a professor of the English language.
Bending to pressure from conservatives in Congress, the GOP has issued a revised version of the American Health Care Act.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - If there is one thing Donald Trump isn't willing to give up even as president, it is his Twitter account.  He continues to use Twitter to post cryptic messages and to attack those who criticize him -- 140 characters at a time. Today, Trump formally asked Twitter to…
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - IKEA, the popular ready-to-assemble furniture and home appliances giant, will soon open its very first store in the Philippines, as confirmed by Swedish Ambassador Harald Fries. But Fries said the Philippine store will be like no other. In an effort to utilize indigenous materials and promote products that reflect…
Dear Mr. Trump: Years after that encounter outside Trump Tower years ago, you're now the most powerful man in the world, and I'm sitting in the same spot in my urine-soaked pants.
A Warrington man has agreed to finally wash a pan used for lasagne after only 8 days of soaking. The move comes after his wife threatened to leave. ‘Women don’t understand the value of thorough soaking’, explained the man. ‘She wanted me to scrub it clean using something called ‘elbow grease’. I’ve googled it and it doesn’t bloody exist’.
Since then our relationship with the Trump Administration has become strained peas.
“A White House intruder was wearing a red tie, ruddy complexion & fright wig. And, had a golf bag with him.” Actually, Trump wasn’t on his way in — he was escaping! When apprehended, he looked disoriented and was throwing shredded Obamacare confetti over Michelle’s vegetable garden.
Local alt-right proponent Douglas Smith hadn’t had a naturally occurring erection in months.
Just three years after Scotland voted to remain part of the United Kingdom, the First Minister of Scotland is pushing for another vote after seeing the Conservatives push through a ‘hard Brexit’.
People are staring at each other, unblinkingly, completely nude. No turning away politely, just unabashedly staring. Why are we doing this? Why on earth are we here?

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