Check Please!
Sean Spicer sang Old Man River in what was described by members of the press who had been invited to the press conference as a 'challenging, yet brilliant key'.
According to the UN (and other programs all over the globe), people no longer feel the desire to eat; or really do anything except stare at Bey.
Scientists with the Smithsonian Institution have stumbled on the find of a lifetime! A species long purported to be extinct–the infamous dodo bird--has been here and thriving in the U.S.
While it may not make for polite conversation on Christmas morning, it’s important nonetheless that you understand, Harry Potter is a degenerate psychopath.
President Donald Trump announced that under his leadership he fully expects the United States to finally exit the British Empire “within months”. The Colonies issued notice of intention to leave following a referendum in 1776, but negotiations have not proceeded as quickly as was expected, with many blaming the British Empire for playing hardball on...
Since the election he’s jumped on the ‘fake news’ phrase like an old dog with a new chew toy. No matter what you think of Donald J. Trump, you got to admit he’s a cracker-jack salesman with an uncanny gift for manipulating the mainstream media like a three-armed rental clown juggling pin-pulled grenades.
Falling off the back of a truck, this X-ray clearly shows the vacuum inside Steve Miller's head. As Donald says, "Sad."
Today NASA spokesman Jim Jameson told reporters, during a hastily prepared press conference, that “the math… was much, much harder than we theorized” as he discussed the latest of seven satellite explosions, costing nearly $3.1 billion.
“We are happy to announce we have a successor to ‘Obamacare,’” Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) said on the House floor this morning. “It's called SMILE, although we’ve just been calling it ‘Trumpcare’ for short, even though that's slightly longer."
Is Trump adviser Steve Bannon actually a tramp? Does Trump throttle vagrants to death with his bare hands? Meet the man who manufactures such 'alternative facts' in the name of political balance.
Declaring his utmost confidence in himself to head the National Security Council's Western Hemisphere division, Trump introduced a biological clone of himself to replace the ousted Craig Deare, who was fired Friday after making statements critical of the progenitor Trump.
“Maybe if I send Netflix more money they’ll develop more original content,” Spencer said with just a hint of desperation in his voice.
Starting a band takes a lot of time, practice, and self-loathing. You truly need to hate yourself to get into the state of mind necessary for writing profound, echoing lyrics.
In a frank interview today Lord Kerr, one of the architects of the Lisbon Treaty and the individual responsible for writing Article 50, admitted that Liz Truss ‘probably understands the article better than everyone, seeing as she scanned through it quickly a couple of days ago.’ He also suspects that Ms Truss has a better...
Tweet Tower—Did you listen to that entire press conference? It was like reading Lord of the Rings backwards. We must get the One Coherent Thought from Mt. Doom back to that pub in the Shire! At this rate by 2020 the GOP can just legislate by scribbling their laws on the walls of a truck stop restroom. Maybe Betsy DeVos…
What would the dead presidents say about so-called president Donald J. Trump? Now you know. Abraham Lincoln “Frederick Douglass was a friend of mine. President Trump — you are no Frederick Douglass!” George Washington “I’m still pissed — my Inauguration crowd numbers would’ve been way up if it wasn’t for that dishonest Town Crier!” Franklin
Aren’t we lucky? We got our hands on a gift-bag meant for A-list stars at the Oscar awards. We’re not telling how we got it but let’s just say that it won’t be the first time Leonardo DiCaprio goes home empty-handed.

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