Check Please!
Trump, who has authored 17 books (making him the first president to have written more books than he’s read), spoke directly to press today to confirm the tragedy.
Senator Bubble’s day had finally arrived. But most of all, it was America’s day! Wait… did I get that one the right way around? ‘Freakin’ straight on, Bubble!’ Alan roared. Bubble cleared his throat. He cleared his bowels, and then his throat again. Well, might as well make an effort, huh? ‘Alright, everybody!’ Bubble roared. […]
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
I recently had the honor and privilege of interviewing my jerk face friend, Mick Zano. We met over a beer in downtown Flagstaff to discuss fake news, satire, and what Zano calls the State of the Onion. We had our fair share of battles in the lead up to the election, as he was a little more…
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
Theresa May has approached Harry Potter, the wizard, author JK Rowling for a magic spell to help her, it has been revealed.
Hate is a powerful thing. Powerful enough to divide a house, but apparently, under the right circumstances, strong enough to bring it back together too.
Political depravity and other forms of moral depravity often go together. Senator Willow has a deeply unpleasant experience with the party establishment; but after being expelled from the party for her ‘unpatriotic’ and ‘idealistic,’ rejection of the immoral and corrupt war consensus, things are about to get even worse. Corruption has a thousand faces. And […]
You've all seen Melania being cold to me. No hand holding, eye rolls, ignoring, walking separately, bad, bad. But I'm not upset because at least the American people still love me.
An enthusiastic but unrealistic work colleague who claims that he is going to be ‘all over’ a task that needs completing this afternoon, is in reality only going to give it a slightly increased bit of his attention for a few minutes, it has been disappointingly revealed. ‘Those excel spreadsheets with the monthly figures on...
Washington, DC—Special Prosecutor, Robert Mueller, the man assigned to investigate President Trump’s possible obstruction of justice was last seen reluctantly entering a limousine outside of the downtown DC Hooters on 7th Street. Eye witnesses claim several of Trump’s security detail surrounded Mueller, while mindlessly chanting “make a America great again” over and over again. One passerby claims Mr. Mueller was…
It may well be that director Miguel Artete and screenwriter Mike White have initiated a new franchise for a string of movies unlike those regarding our friend Harry Potter and more akin to our president … Donald Trump.
Were London Bridge attackers actually part of Jihadi terror re-enactment group? Bizarre tabloid claims that whole terror incident a tragic misunderstanding with make believe terrorists armed with fake suicide bomb belts and rubber knives mistaken by police for real thing.
It has come to our attention that the media at large has been using the fame of our brightest stars to generate clicks and garner shallow traffic on their sites. Despicable.
Starting as a hearty round of applause, the clapping soon intensified as each cabinet member rose to his or her feet to cheer their Commander in Chief, and has yet to abate after 27 hours...
Greatest American hero? It’s Bobby Joe! No? Nobody call? Anyhow, watch the video!
"Never bottle up your confusion. Think out loud. An effective way to communicate your muddled beliefs is Twitter." -Kisha P., Police Desk Sergeant
Insiders have admitted that the Conservative Party ‘probably shouldn’t have used Easyjet’ to provide strategy advice over the last few years. ‘Admittedly they have a simple approach to problem solving,’ said a senior Tory today. ‘Want to stay in or leave the EU? Ask the public, they’ll know the right answer. ‘Want a mandate for...

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