Check Please!
New York NY – (
Mrs. Philbert suggested we get away from Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky for a few days, now that the 2016 elections were over and only a few “lame ducks” remain in Washington DC. We decided to motor to “The Big Apple” New York City (NYC). Our first mistake was in using Interstate 80 and trying to cross the George Washington Bridge during the evening rush hour. Things went downhill from there!
Trump has always had an affinity for Steely Dan’s Aja (pronounced Asia), and he really wants to delve deeper into the significance of the 1977 album.
The farting, the boozing, the singing, the lamenting... good grief, what a bunch of lazy, pretentious midgets with nothing to do but stir up drama.
While the deactivation of President Trump’s Twitter account has caused consternation, very few people have noticed the absence of Mr, Trump on Friends Reunited. Likewise social media users seem unconcerned that the President has been inactive on iTunes Ping from 2012 and following tensions with North Korea, has barely posted on Friendster. Initially a rogue...
Washington, DC—Earlier today a shipment of methampethamine with an estimated 26K street value arrived at the headquarters of Special Prosecutor Rober Mueller. The stimulants were sent to his 17-lawyer team presumably in an effort to speed things up a bit. Mueller told the press today that he is very grateful for the gesture, but when…
In a surprise find, analogous to the one recently in an Egyptian pyramid, a team of researchers has detected a mysterious giant void inside President Donald Trump’s head.

Orlando, FL – (

A judge with a sense of humor charged a man with using a weapon of mass destruction during a Catholic church service. The man, Percival Pissgums of Orlando, Florida, was arrested after repeatedly passing gas in St. Anthony’s Cathedral.
President Trump today sought to put some distance between another figure in his administration who met with Russian diplomats, his son-in-law, Jared.
I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
Regional rail enthusiasts Later Anglia are countering the recent cold snap by boosting the temperature in their rail cars to levels that can vaporise tungsten, it has been confirmed. Combined with the recent chill caused by high pressure and a polar maritime air mass across the UK, the company’s latest thermal adjustments mean that commuters...
Tweet Tower—Just ahead of Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s first wave of pending indictments, President Trump scrambled to set up a deal with FedEx to get some serious overnight shipping accomplished. The president told the press today, “By Monday morning, ahead of Mr. Mueller’s fake indictments, which should be sent to Hillary anyway, I have delivered…
George Clooney’s new directorial effort is a period piece — dark with satiric messaging. Time is set in a swatch of American history all too clear...
Louisville, KY – (
With Halloween just a few days away, one of the most sacred times for the ancient people that lived off the land approaches…The Autumn Equinox, the time of harvest. If you’re in downtown Louisville today and someone says ‘Merry Meet,’ don’t be surprised at the friendly gesture. After all, this is National Pagan Day, and the folks in Louisville are celebrating by hosting a big Pagan Fair where crafts, gifts, and a few food vendors are offering up typical southern fare.
London(UK) – (
Britain’s most famous twit has a family secret that for almost 700 years has been kept a buried secret. Now, Prince Charles admits he is related the the infamous Romanian… Vlad the Impaler.
London, England – (
In the realm of political correctness, surely modern Britain has resurrected the Knights of the Round Table in order to give everyone a commanding seat in the name of diversity. Even at the risk of sounding foolish and maybe paranoid too. Diversity and those dreaded ‘Equality Experts’ have a new target…Black Witches Hats and the stereotype they supposedly advance as an anti-black discriminatory vehicle.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Unconfirmed reports say that U.S. President Donald Trump called Philippine Senator Antonio Trillanes a ‘Narco.’ The Pinoy Senator was recently in the U.S., meeting with American politicians including Florida Senator Marco Rubio. He supposedly asked their help to convince Trump to cancel his trip to the Philippines next…
In an obvious PR stunt, Saudi Arabia, known for its human rights issues, has granted a driver’s license to a human female driver for the first time.
Silicone Valley, California – (
Sex robot technology has become increasingly popular this year after Barcelona introduced the world’s first ever sex robot brothel, Lumidolls.
So while the cyborgs continue to rise and shock the world, US porn star Hunny Bunch sheds her light on what she worries could happen next.
Trump credits "big brain," "hugely big hands" for solving America's opioid epidemic.
Re: The North Atlantic Sea Report

Nova Scotia, Canada (
The iceberg that sank the Titanic was thought to be 100,000 years old, according to scientists who traced the origins of the once colossal lump of glacial ice. The ice berg was given a number (K-95432) and was tracked by NOAA since its discovery back in 1911 though it was only in the past several months did the notoriety of K-95432 surface surprising NOAA scientists.

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