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Scientists have warned that our visual world will almost certainly revert to monochrome, or black-and-white, within the next five to ten years.
In a press conference earlier today, Robert Mueller released the most damning evidence of Russian interference in our elections.
Islamabad, Pakistan -(
Reality TV’s latest offering is sure to raise eyebrows and a few tempers as season one of The Real Housewives of Islamabad makes its way to the small screen. Shot on location in Pakistan’s capitol, Islamabad, the first of sixteen segments is set to begin final editing as soon as goat herding and shearing process’ finalize sometime after the winter birthing season for three of the woman who comprise the six main characters.
Paris, France-(
The Paris Hilton admitted today that it had royally screwed Senator Al Franken the last time the Minnesota Senator visited the French capitol.
The recent headlines embarrassed the senator after the hotel admitted it cheated him out of double-dipper frequent flyer miles by neglecting to properly process the bonus points to the Senator's credit card.
Beaver Falls, MT – (

Ward was glad to see the old gang again, but was really excited to see the Beaver too.
Due to the recent interest in the new movie “The Beaver,” Hollywood has decided to remake “Leave It To Beaver” as both a television series and as a motion picture. “The Beaver,” a film with Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster, has absolutely nothing to do with the television series and involves a man who can only speak through an animal puppet on his hand. When viewers heard of the movie, however, they thought that the famous 50’s Cleaver family was returning.
Cleveland, OH – (
A bingo hall in Cleveland announced plans to hold Catholic church services in their basement. Owner of the Grace Bingo Parlor said that this practice would begin in early June and would continue as long as the church services were successful and well attended.
Skeletor, an evil demon from another dimension, said he can no longer stand by as the liberal media attacks simple middle class people like himself.
The Southern Poverty Law Center has been at the forefront of many important agendas of American civic life, for quite some time. The poor, the Southern and most of all, the legalistic, have all sought shelter under the wings of the holy dove of mercy. But speaking of holy doves; the SPLC has provoked a […]
There's nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a tiny, dingy $800-a-month basement apartment to remind you that your dreams are a sham.
A Doncaster man has been banned from his local gym after it was found that he had been regularly having a post-workout shower without taking a piss at the same time. The offence was spotted by the male changing room cleaner, who noted that the shower tray remained a pristine white colour after Peter Smith, 24, emerged at 630pm each evening, rather than having the more typical light yellow film around the edges.
Someone needs to put Zano back in his place and that someone is me! He’s starting to get a little too smug in his old age and sometimes he needs reminded he’s not a Jedi yet. This is a rebuttal of sorts to his feature: A Review Of Ken Wilber’s ‘Trump And A Post-Truth World’: Or, How I Stopped Evolving And…
Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied that lying behind his smug smirk is a pack of lies — at least, not that he recalls.
Having just returned from a grueling 13-day, 5 nation tour of Asia, President Trump may be disappointed to learn that he could be asked to spend a lot more time abroad after an analysis revealed that his trip made the region significantly dumber.
Hollywood, CA (

According to her publicist, actress Heidi Montag is home taking a rest for the next six weeks, “Heidi is taking some time off to allow her back and spine some needed rest.”
Cairo, Egypt-(
Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to alleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 5,000 BC. Labor sources have related that up to 4 million laborers will be needed to haul cut stone from the ancient quarry located 30 miles from the building site in time to celebrate the new constitution and subsequent free elections.
NASA-Washington DC- (

Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspected breach of national security was discovered during a review of a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45 minute speech was given by Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi of California as she addressed the Congressional Investigative Committee for Unidentified Flying Objects (CICUFO).
A new horror film “The Malignant Seven” opened at The Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater located at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC, for Halloween night only. The theater’s six-story screen is bigger than any other in the city. If you’ve ever wanted to be immersed in an R-Rated, 60 feet high slimy political horror film, The Malignant Seven produced by Harvey Weinstein and directed by Michael Moore fulfilled your every wish!
In the rush to quickly fill federal district court appointments, critics wonder if nominees are being properly vetted, as Eric Cartman comes up for a vote.
Essential guidance for top executives, both in the public and private sectors, when aspects of professional conduct within their organisations are exposed and interpreted by the media and public in an irrationally negative light.
Jon Stewart became the latest celebrity to face charges of sexual misconduct today after it was alleged that the actor and comedian anally assaulted hundreds of kittens while volunteering at a Long Island animal shelter.

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