by Roger Freed.ISIS ‘heroes’ find their heavenly reward The dead ISIS members paraded up the path leading to their Glory. As they walked they boasted about their accomplishments. “I drove a truck with bombs in it into a marketplace and killed 22 people!” spoke one, his broken teeth smiling in self-satisfaction. “I wore a suicide vest into [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Benyon, who stands to inherit £110 million from his family’s estate, decided that something must be done about the rising use of food banks in the country. He decided to chip in by hand-baking dozens of loaves of bread every day, but not before he’d added wealthy seed to the dough.

London, UK (satireworld.com)
Television chef Nigella Lawson, was briefly hospitalized after being injured at a jump rope event held at Sunnyside Park. Paramedics rushed the popular TV chef to Putnam Hospital where she was treated for facial injuries, lacerations, and severe back strain, do in part to her bra exceeding 25 G-forces causing the seams to come apart when she jumped rope.

A girl was saved and potentially dozens more children's lives were spared after cancer took down a serial child rapist this weekend.

Hello ______. We have been informed that your ______ has died and we’re super bummed about that for you.

RIO DE JANEIRO (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Rio de Janeiro confirmed reports it will be offering hazmat suits to all Olympic athletes competing in sports on Guanabara Bay. The suits will protect some of the world's best athletes from the tons of untreated sewage and garbage in the water they will be surrounded by.

Dallas, Texas – (SatireWorld.com)
Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans...'We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock group ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed fifty years ago, success still seems to follow them wherever they play.

DENVER, Colorado (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - For every single thing that goes wrong in the Trump camp, Donald has Hillary Clinton to blame. The presidential debate schedule has been rigged, Trump claims, and Hillary has everything to do with it.  Two of the scheduled debates coincides with NFL games.  The Republican presidential candidate…

Barnswood, IA – (satireworld.com)
Farmer Elmer Cadfrey thought Tuesday’s visit by the History Channel’s American Picker duo would be a profitable day for him and a chance to unload a lifetime of junk he collected in two of his three barns. Sadly, he spent most of the day down at the Merriweather Health Clinic with an ice pack on his nose.

"I’m amazing with a joystick but I don’t see how I’d make money with that skill on the streets."

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 - Feb 17)
Flipping coins, juggling fruit, and single handed tricks involving the remote control on your television or hifi are set to pepper your leisure time with an element of artistic excitement.
Absentminded doodles with big loops, but not small round loops, are well starred during coffee break or phone calls on the first three Tuesdays of the month. An eager eye might indicate a latent talent for predicting the future, even satire, with your scribbles (look for big eared local politicians to mercilessly lampoon). You might try to find Understanding Doodles Fo

  NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Americans looking forward to the 2016 presidential debates may not see one at all -- at least not on television. As previously announced by the Commission on Presidential Debates, the schedule for three 2016 presidential debates is as follows:? First presidential debate: Monday, Sept. 26,…

During a news conference in which he insisted he had nothing to do with the recent hacking of Democratic National Committee emails, Donald Trump called on Russia this week to find Hillary Clinton’s 30,000 missing emails, drawing claims the Republican presidential nominee’s actions were treasonous.

The spirit of a Hillary Clinton colleague who allegedly killed himself appeared to the founder of WikiLeaks and admonished him for leaking Democratic National Committee emails that could harm Clinton’s presidential campaign.

In a shocking blow to the republic a new set of texts between the DNC and GOP reveal that Clinton will win the election in November.

St.Petersburg, FL – (satireworld.com)
Retired folks over at the Sunset Acres Mobile Home Park have had it!
First, it was the BlackLivesMatter marches in a predominately white retiree neighborhood by Alzheimer patients from a nearby nursing home who were given a donut and a phony 100 dollar bill by George Seros operatives to…’stir things up abit’.
Today was the last straw for many of the fairly religious and conservative residents after discovering a wall mural near the 117th street news stand of Hillary Clinton wearing, well, not much!

'The establishment’s been brought down and no-one has the faintest idea what to do – I’ve nothing left to chant. To think I bought a bloody Guy Fawkes mask for nothing.'

The boys are back in town! Although in this one they play alien girls.  

A new group of Hillary Clinton supporters has been formed called “Christians for Hillary.” They have initiated a special campaign strategy to help Hillary win the election. They plan on purchasing television and radio time, flooding the internet, and putting full page ads...

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)
At first Cal Henry was worried about his boss Secretary of State John Kerry locking himself in the private planes lavatory for almost an hour. Pressing his ear against the door he could hear giggles and a few short laughs. Somewhat relieved that the Secretary was OK, Henry took a seat and waited for his boss to return to the seat opposite his.