WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - No presidential candidate of a U.S. major party has ever died or withdrawn before a presidential election and no President-elect has ever died or withdrawn after winning the general election, but before taking office. However, one vice-presidential candidate died after he was nominated but before the general election (James Sherman,…

Sheriff's Deputies in US South ordered to black up in order to avoid being targeted by black snipers. Local Sheriff also believes wearing of black face by white officers will also take racial element out of police brutality.

A new innovation in the American sweat shop now counts the seconds spent between labor as a breaks in a ultra efficient money saving technique.

Students are demanding new referendums on Brexit, Donald Trump and the deaths of numerous celebrities; while also calling for the scrapping of the months August to December 2016. Said one activist: 'We've been given no warning about the events of this year, we weren't consulted and frankly many of us feel threatened by it's constant attempts to harass and abuse us'.

New York, NY—Donald J. Trump is once again defending his controversial comments today. During an interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, Mr. Trump attempted to defend his earlier comments regarding the U.S.’s ongoing defense of our NATO allies. “Take Japan,” said Trump. “I used to be in the protection racquet and you pay for that. Everyone pays for that. Back…

Hillary had to morph into a political cyborg to bust through the glass ceiling. Striding onto the Philadelphia stage resplendent in a white pants suit like a heavenly sent business bride walking down the aisle to tie the knot with America, Chelsea’s mom jettisoned the “presumptive” and accepted the Democratic Party’s invitation to become their...

Mr Tribble was able to control Earth when he stumbled across the Earth Emperor’s throne. Little is known about the throne except that whoever sits on it gets to control the planet. Usually it is sat upon by a member of a European banking dynasty, however it was left vacant as one guard explained.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - After last week's Houston Chronicle endorsement of Hillary Clinton which has all but devastated Donald Trump's presidential campaign, the Republican Party nominee has received two major media endorsements this week. On Monday, The Onion, the country's most reliable and respected news source, endorsed Trump's candidacy, saying that the candidate…

Why not try a couple of these out when you’re saying something that should be shoved back down your throat along with a copy of the bill rights?

Trump and Putin have become increasingly close over the course of the American election cycle, with both admiring the other man’s balls.

(satireworld.com) -
The father of a Muslim-American soldier killed in Iraq who is caught up in a war of words with Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is an immigration lawyer who specializes in a highly controversial program accused of letting immigrants buy their way into the U.S.

NEW YORK – A few Americans were shocked at the photos of a naked Melania Trump, Donald Trump’s wife, on the front page of the NY Post yesterday. Thankfully, the paper has promised ALL Americans that they will not be subjected to having to see naked pictures of Bill Clinton’s wife.

Beijing, China – (satireworld.com)

Life in the Chinese gay closet was lonely for Choi Lee. No friends. No one to talk to about his problems. Just constant fear of a loud knock on his apartment door late in the evening. In communist China it’s just you and yourself shuttered away from life and reality, afraid the authorities will discover your secrets and take you away somewhere that’s really secret too. Choi Lee first became acquainted with homosexuality after a trip to visit the Philippines where almost 98% of all men are gay. In his own words...."A transformation took place one night in

Area video game store clerk David Wilson recently attended a party he believed to be filled with lowlifes incapable of understanding his love and appreciation for all things not made in America.

HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) - Everywhere you go in the islands of Hawaii, you will always find the 'Aloha' spirit.  You'll always feel welcome, appreciated, loved. You get lei'd upon arrival at the airport. You are greeted with 'Aloha' the moment you step into an ABC Store.  And the locals are not shy…

Islamisbad, Pakistan -(satireworld.com)

In order to shore up faltering ratings and falling revenues, cable news channel MSNBC has decided to offer prime-time reality shows with a foreign flare. Reality TV’s latest offering is sure to raise eyebrows and a few Muslim tempers.

The endorsement of Hillary Clinton by a former commander of U.S. Central Command has prompted Donald Trump to claim the retired four-star general is a “loser” for not figuring out a way to dodge his military obligations.

Greg Corner, 37, is a father of two, husband to one, and accountant to dozens. Despite the soul-crushing nature of his life, he never fails to greet people with a lukewarm smile, slightly damp handshake and inane small-talk.

Thanks to a shift in tectonic plates, a SatNav update and a petition from New Zealand, Australians are making a bold move to return to the motherland - or more accurately 'where their sentencing took place'.

  Trump Tower—Presidential nominee Donald Trump is making disturbing claims about the origins of his presidential aspirations. When asked about his initial desire to seek the highest office in the land, Mr. Trump told NBC’s Matt Lauer, “I started playing this game, Slenderman. Little by little I was playing it all the time. I barely had…