Dan is currently unemployed after completing a degree in journalism. He lives with his father, Eric, and mother, Barbara.

Reports of chaotic scenes at the Olympic Games have emerged after a working class man breached security and entered the Equestrian Centre undetected. Eye-witness accounts say the man was dressed in an England football strip and Bermuda shorts and shouted ‘God ‘elp us’ before asking where the bar was.

‘It was horrible,’ says Team GB representative Pippa Worsley-Granger. ‘I’d just finished my Individual Dressage and was telling my horse Minty Buff what a good boy he was when I heard screaming and saw people running in panic’.

  It seemed like only yesterday Trump was on point, because, well, it was only yesterday. The day before this gaffe-free-anomaly he was attacking babies and doubling-down on his criticism of the father of a fallen soldier. Today, back on course, Trump called for the assassination of his political opponent. No wonder he’s so fond of Putin. If they…

‘Let’s First Amendment the little creep before he Second Amendments us!’ she says, urging her supporters to ‘go after the SOB with everything we’ve got!’ NYC – Hillary Clinton responded to Donald Trump’s barely veiled “second amendment” assassination threat today by invoking “the full power of the First Amendment and its right to free speech.”

The group – which consisted of 23 men, women and children – took one look at the town and decided that they’d rather chance it back in their war-torn country.

A trail of Death –
The following is a list of a number of persons who have died in suspicious circumstances who had connection to the Clinton’s or the Clinton’s dealings. The length and breadth of this list is disconcerting.

It is beyond credibility that very many of these cases are just coincidences.

Candidate says his presidential radio infomercials to the American public "will be so tremendous."

The online pharmaceutical company allegedly sent Christie a monthly package of anabolic steroids as well as other performance enhancing drugs.

Is alleged 'Robot Suicide Bomber' that took out episode of 'Robot Wars' vanguard of new 'Techno Terror' campaign by Isis? Fears that household appliances could be reprogrammed into killers by radicalised repair men after housewife suffers near fatal washing machine assault.

A local man would have had a chance to have sex with a woman way out of his league had he just cleaned his bathroom....

Rio Olympic Village – (satireworld.com)

When you have to go, well, you just have to go! But for 20 time Olympic record gold medalist Michael Phelps a tell tale yellow stream lead to his expulsion from future competitions in any Olympic-sized pool.

Think of something to protest. A protest isn't much of a protest if nobody's complaining about anything, so this part is very important. Just make sure the thing you decide on isn't already resolved – like racism or the gays.

Responding to complaints from residents about the number of dead hookers piling up on their local beaches, Lindenhurst City Council voted this week to initiate a curbside prostitute recycling program.

To: Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Juanita Broaddrick
From: Former President William J. Clinton
Subject: Democratic Party Fund Raising
Date: August 10, 2016

Ladies:
Hillary asked me to write to people I have been close to at one time or another in my career and your names immediately popped into my head. As you may know Hillary is running to be the President of the United States on the Democratic ticket with Tim Kaine as her running mate.

A controversial new policy at Trader Matt’s grocery store forces workers to intimately kiss customers if the customer would like a kiss.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (The Adobo Chronicles, Sao Paolo Bureau) - The fierce competition among the athletes at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio is focused on the gold medal, to be the top.  In Sao Paolo, Brazil's largest city, the contest is to be bottom. Twenty-seven women competing to win the title of best bottom in…

Flossing is to be made illegal in England in one of the first acts of parliament following Brexit, according to the English Anti Flossing League.

A new report suggests that something might have happened on Facebook in the last four minutes, and it goes on to advise Facebook users to go into conversation autopilot mode and promptly investigate your news feed.

‘The smell was ungodly, it was all I could do not to dry wretch,’ said Rachel Haig, one of the unfortunate victims.

The ‘learner trolleys’ are part of a plan by ASDA to make grocery shopping more enjoyable and less stressful.