RIO DE JANEIRO -- Claiming that such behavior is a “biological imperative” and his “right as the holder of countless world records,” U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps was observed by judges and spectators on Monday spawning after competing in the 200-meter butterfly semifinals.

MAKATI CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - On Monday, Filipino Congressman Joey Sarte filed a resolution in Manila's House of Representatives that seeks to permanently ban U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump from entering the country following his campaign speech last week where a he named the Philippines as one of the “terrorist nations.” During…

Neil Abercrombie (D) was lambasted by his constituents after he made a small but honest mistake.

NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Donald Trump has updated his vision for solving America’s illegal immigration problem. Trump has been criticized for his talk about constructing a tall wall along the southern border with Mexico. He’s now thinking a little more futuristic.

The other day while in bed, my husband called me frigid. Just as I was about to slap that son of a bitch, he said that he was referring to my body temperature. I stuck a thermometer under my tongue and sure enough, my temperature was just above 88, a full ten degrees less than the normal.

Human rights groups are speaking out against the latest form of punishment carried out by the terror organization known as ISIS: forcing prisoners to watch the 2016 movie “Suicide Squad” -- to death.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton arrogantly explained her recent incorrect spin of the FBI investigation into her private email server. She said that I may have “short-circuited” (SIC lied) in her remarks during a television interview when she asserted that FBI director, James B. Comey, had called her statements about her private email server as being truthful.

Peaty smashed his own world record in the final and won with consummate ease. However the result will not stand after failing the drugs test.

Hunt, the Secretary for Health, believes this will be in the best interests of both the NHS and its patients.

'I for one don’t feel comfortable about being paid to be fracked,' said rural Surrey resident Jenny Smithurst. ‘If I’m going to get the most out of repeated fracking, I want it to mean something real. If, say, Chancellor Phillip Hammond wanted to pay me thousands of pounds so I submitted to the kind of penetration we’ve seen talked about in newspapers, I’d say that could be inappropriate, if not sordid. Where do we sign up?’

  The Toxic Avenger is an early favorite in the debris slalom.

Republican Party Dirge – a poem

Trump rhetoric’s filled with big lies
When caught he backs up and denies.
He thinks he can win
With chutzpah and spin
And scapegoats to hate and despise.

Everyone loves brain teasers. How long will it takes you to spot the hidden treasures in these photos? (#5 Is Beyond Incredible)

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com)
On the heels of a federal court striking down Chicago’s ban on gun sales, those seeking gun permits in Illinois flooded the State Police website over the weekend to begin the permitting process.
In fact, the amount of Illinois residents seeking a conceal carry permit already surpasses those who enrolled in Obamacare after the first two months of the launch of healthcare.gov. The Chicago Sun-Times reported 4,525 individuals signed up on Sunday alone for their firearms permits, when the State Police first opened the process to all concealed carry applicants.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
Just when you think you’ve heard it all in this city, another group of nuts comes to town to testify before the US Supreme Court. On April 28, 2015 the Supreme Court heard oral arguments about “Same Sex Marriage.” Specifically, the Court was tasked with addressing two questions:
1) whether states must perform same-sex marriages; and 2) whether states must recognize same-sex marriages performed in another state where such marriages are legal.

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)
Whenever you hear the brain dead politicians on the left, or their supportive media friends, start talking about gun control proposals it’s always in the name of ‘common sense’. So we on the right have thoroughly researched the issue and have come up with a form of Gun Control that makes common sense, especially after you examine the data on past gun related murders and who actually is at fault.

Three-year-old Maisie drew a picture of her parents in front of their house and handed it to them earlier this morning. Her parents, both art critics and artists in their own right, felt like the picture was a slap in the face to the pair of them.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - In a rare public display of vulnerability and fear, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump apologized to the Filipino people for his comment linking their country to terrorism. In a recent anti-immigration speech in Maine, Trump has lumped the Philippines among “terrorist nations” from where people should…

Marta Hendrix has decided to make a huge health sacrifice in order to
serve the lord and spread his message of peace and love through the melanoma
spot on her right shoulder blade.

The Women’s Beach Volleyball contest is regularly one of the most viewed portions of the Olympic games, and it’s easy to see why.