The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

"Secret service agents on both sides and they let her fall? She can't weight much more than 120 pounds... Trump: flat on his face, I mean he's a big man, OK, but a 120 pound woman? #FAIL #FAIL #FAIL" Harry Zonderblurb, Purveyor

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
Doctors at New York’s Presbyterian Hospital report that Hillary Clinton tested positive for an advanced case of Norwegian Sniffle-Less a contagious disease that is spread from hand to person.

Vowing to escape in time for the November elections and expose the sickly impostor who has taken her place as Democratic presidential nominee, the real and physically fit Hillary Clinton has yet again scaled the 16-foot walls of her enclosure at the Republican National Committee headquarters to survey her surroundings.

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com)

A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie in a public theater! The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a soldier who had been away for a year serving in a military base in Korea, found the black baby at home when his unit cycled back to Fort Bragg in early October.

Hawaiian Islands-(SatireWorld.com)

A US Coast Guard helicopter made an astounding discover Tuesday after scouting out the gigantic floating debris field originating from the 2011 tsunami that rocked the east coast of Japan. A ragged survivor hailed the low-flying helicopter with a remnant of a shirt.

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

It’s been known for over fifteen years that Tom Jones had acquired sex bomb technology but it was thought the Welsh warbler was satisfied with his outdated model.

While Babestation is more known for rising male members than rising pastry, the channel insists that it makes an ideal partner for GBBO.

New York – (SatireWorld.com)
“Sounds like a classic case of drop dead tertiary psycho-syphilis,” Carnegie Hill shrink Professor Einstein Flintstone said today amid reports that Democratic Party basket case Hillary Clinton is slowly going nuts ahead of the upcoming presidential election.

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is reportedly recovering from a severe case of Calcutta Pneumonia, according to her campaign, but the mysterious virus that they say caused her to collapse in New York City Sunday has made several staffers sick, according to confidential sources.

There’s a brand new mattress on the market and it’s so dang comfy that people are falling asleep on it and just not waking up!

British business has reason to celebrate as the BCC revealed stunning new statistics that show British high streets containing THREE times as many stores selling chipboard in their front windows than in Europe.

And the EU is said to be absolutely furious that May opened the Brexit mystery box BEFORE enacting Article 50.

Charleston, WV – (satireworld.com)
At a news conference held in this once thriving coal producing state, the founder of WikiLeaks announced that in the coming weeks thousands of Hillary Clinton’s destroyed or non-existent emails will be released. The latest batch of emails concern Hillary Clinton’s failed polygraph tests (lie detector) relative to her obtaining a TOP SECRET special access security clearance.

Hillary Clinton has overheated again, only hours after overheating at a 9/11 event on Sunday, according to new leaked footage seen by this newspaper online.

Which candidate would make a better president?

Investigating a series of mysterious radio signals believed to have originated from outside the Milky Way later proven to be of human origin, astronomers have revealed the discovery of a layer of homeless people orbiting the Earth.

New York City, NY (satireworld.com)
Hillary Clinton had a “stumble episode” that required her to leave a 9/11 commemoration ceremony early, a law enforcement source who witnessed the event told SatireWorld.com.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Reports of scary Democratic Party clowns lurking in the shadows and trying to lure innocent voters into the murkiness of Washington, DC political promises and lies have patriotic families in a frenzy, Democratic candidates nervous, and Twitter users all jittery.