‘We looked at the most popular flavours of crisps and pickled onion was way up there,’ said a Durex spokesperson.

Beijing officials have been left red-faced by the discovery that their 430m-long bridge, costing $3.4m, was constructed without a screen protector. Having used iPhone glass technology, the Zhangjiajie bridge is to be closed for repairs or until the end of its 36 month contract – whichever is longer. Like an iPhone the bridge was designed...

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - CNN anchor Anderson Cooper makes history by becoming the first openly gay man to moderate a presidential debate in a U.S. general election. Others who moderated in the past were closeted.

With Jeremy Corbyn odds on favourite to comfortably beat Owen Smith in the Labour leadership election, Corbyn will be free to mould the Labour Party in his image.

New York City – (SatireWorld.com)
A new musical about the life of failed US Congressman Anthony Weiner is to premiere on Broadway this week based loosely on what critics describe as ‘A Serenade In F-Sharp For G String With A Minor’.

After being hit with months of negative press, Southern Rail are absolutely delighted to win the award.

John Travolta has admitted he’s been forced to seek medical advice for a condition that causes multiplying chills – a condition he has suffered from since the 1970s.

A photographic memory (also known as an eidetic memory) allows the owner to remember things exactly as they were when they saw them without need for a long study period or any other sort of memory aid. Usually this applies to everything seen by the owner, but Gary Couples, 38, has been able to use his talent exclusively to remember all the ladies’ sweater puppies he’s ever seen.

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
BREAKING NEWS!
As if 2016 wasn’t full of enough political surprises! This afternoon at 2 PM a joint press conference with both ex-congressman Anthony Weiner and ex-US Attorney General Eric Holder surprised even the most seasoned experts by announcing a bid for the US presidency and Vice Presidency.

‘There’s never been a study like it in history, as far as I’m aware,’ said Dr Cooper. ‘It seems like every avenue of investigation just leaves us further from an answer.’

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
With his poll numbers overcoming a month-long deficit of almost 15 points in some blue states, presidential candidate Donald Trump is soaring high…And so are his growing legion of supporters in states that historically were Democratic strongholds!

Reports of discord and emotional hand-wringing has placed the DNC leadership in a position of faltering in any attempts to stay on message and drifting from its course of presenting anything new,especially ideas that could kick-start her sagging campaign.

The former UKIP leader has warned that brown leaves are simply not in-keeping with Britain’s image as a green and pleasant land.

Donald Trump has enjoyed playing the villain card and appealing to the lowest common denominator in his bid to become the president but now he’s achieved supervillian status as he has begun smashing puppies on stage at his rallies using a large comedy sized mallet.

Velma Suddlington, 38, has appeared on various websites where her ‘revolutionary weight loss method’ has been called ‘the next big thing’.

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Vice President Joe Biden speaking for the Obama administration announced two new gun control measures, promulgated via President Obama’s Executive Orders.

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Just minutes after meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was held by Mexican immigration authorities and prevented from returning to the United States. While reports were sketchy, sources at the U.S. State Department said that Trump is being charged for…

THE VATICAN, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) - In Hollywood, Oscar winners are drowned out by music  when they exceed the alloted time for their acceptance speeches.  In Catholic churches around the world, priests face the gong for homilies  over 8  minutes long. Archbishop Nikola Eterovic, the secretary general of the Synod of Bishops, says…

A SELECTION OF OUR AWARDS

Jack And Jill's Upper Hill Horoscope Of The Year, Vinegar Division, March 2014

The Yogi Bear, Donald Duck and The Flintstone's cross over branded cartoon horoscope involving horns, April 2013

Guardians Of The Galaxy movie tie in Capricorn horoscope June and July 2015

Are We There Yet? Parental Advice To Toddlers In A Horoscope, Aquarius and Taurus Summer Vacation 2015