MOSUL (The Barbed Wire) - Members of the terror group ISIS spent New Year's Eve celebrating the beginning of a new year of terror attacks and killing by watching the annual head drop in Mosul. The tradition is in its third year and the event is circulated by cellphones and ISIS-controlled TV stations in the region.

John Stewart will be named the new executive producer for The O’Reilly Factor on FOX News. “I can’t fight it any longer,” will say Stewart. “I’ve been livi

The Financial Conduct Authority has shelved its banking inquiry and told consumers to 'stop whining like a little girl'. Rather than challenge the culture of the city of London, the FCA is said to favour offering brokers candle-lit meals, a shoulder rub and unlimited access to everyone's savings.

We here at Durstco have compiled a political forecast for 2016 It’s hard to believe, but we’re on the brink of another presidential election year. Let us pray.

News York, New York – (satireworld.com)

Breaking News!
Reports of bombshell allegations being thrown at perennial presidential candidate Hillary Clinton concerning her reportedly ‘frequent secret trips to Tijuana, Mexico’ while she served as US Secretary of State are circulating in media centers across the US.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Along with other giant Silicon Valley tech companies, Twitter has been  often criticized for the lack of diversity in its work force. The San Francisco-based social networking service has had a dismal record of hiring and promoting women and people of color. In a major year-end move to deal…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced her 2016 resolution was to "completely destroy" U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - her primary challenger for the party's presidential nomination. Clinton asserted she wanted to tear down Sanders, and everything he ever loved, while also desiring to "seem nice doing it" so her already upside-down likability numbers did not go even lower.

The U.S. Government made the following announcements today that are in preparation of New Year’s Eve 2016. All the preparations, listed below, have roots in traditional superstitions.

Ottawa—Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudaeu announced today as many as 40% of the recently relocated Syrian refugees have already frozen to death. The challenge of transitioning individuals from a desert region to the great white north has proven too great for many. The Prime Minister was saddened, yet confused by the news: “We gave every one…

'I am disappointed to face charges related to an alleged incident in 2004. I deny all accusations that I put my boopachop in my accuser’s simbydoop after I had put some sleepy-deeps in her slurpydrunkjuice,' he said.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

Lanham, Maryland – (satireworld.com)

Most Americans probably don’t realize that Turkey’s Islamist government is building a colossal mosque in the United States with the input of several branches of a group known as the parent organization of Hamas and al Qaeda.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - When it comes to business and time management, billionaire Donald Trump speaks with great authority, that's why he is where he is now. In a new major campaign policy proposal, the Republican presidential candidate believes that there should only be one time zone across the world, and he…

Awards:
Society Of Anti Horoscopes League Of Cruelty 2014 'Horoscope Of The Year'
Sagittarius Deal Or No Deal Sponsored Horoscope 2013
Sugar Free Mystical Horoscope Of The Year 2014

Anywhere, USA
For years now we have lived through the terrible tragedy of random shootings and mass murders at the hands of gunmen. Each and every-time the media covers the story for days on end and usually heaps blame via pundits or reporters on the NRA, gun rights supporters, gun owners and even retailers who sell guns.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the conservative think tank Work Harder, America (WHA) released the results of a study on tax cuts for the wealthy, and government services cuts for the vast majority of Americans. The study clearly showed the wealthy paying less in taxes had nothing to do with tax revenue shortfalls that gave conservatives a pretext to assert government budgets must be balanced by austerity measures targeting critical services like education, food assistance, healthcare, and infrastructure.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
Ed Klein’s newly released book ‘Blood Feud’ revealed that ex- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a heart ailment that she has kept secret hoping to avoid controversy that would hinder her chances to become president in 2016. Clinton addressed her physical ailments before a questioning press corp today in lieu of reports that she recently visited a gynecologist and heart specialist in New York City. Rumors are now swirling that Hillary might drop out of the race and not seek the 2016 Presidential nomination from her party.

"Yeah, pelican's have a mind of their own. Like pointy beaked cats." Jessie Krufts, Zoologist