NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - In an effort to repair his reputation as a television host after that Miss Universe gaffe on Sunday, Steve Harvey has extended an invitation to Miss Philippines and Miss Colombia to appear on his syndicated show, 'Family Feud.' "I hope that both Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach and Ariadna Guetierrez…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States announced they were "working very, very hard" on a plan to continue trying to make U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont look unelectable in 2016 even when he started to win states and delegates in the Democratic Party presidential primaries. The corporate propaganda syndicate conceded its efforts to ignore and portray Bernie Sanders as unelectable had, thus far, failed to convince many Americans of the inevitability of Hillary Clinton - the pro-war, pro-fear, and status quo candidate considered t

The growing middle class in China’s capital city has discovered a new form of imported Canadian air, one that comes at just a fraction of the price of fresh air but is said to be just as enjoyable: bottled Canadian farts.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

Former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State verified her frigid condition to the world with her latest lawsuit. The potential Presidential candidate spilled a twenty-two degree McDonald’s milkshake in her lap and sued the fast food chain because of the burns that she suffered.

A Baton Rouge woman spotted purchasing several containers of newly reintroduced Blue Bell Ice Cream said she believes the risk posed by Syrian refugees is too great to allow them into the country.

Star Wars spoiler causes lock-down of Ft. Bragg, NC.

Following claims that he wants to aggressively copulate with his daughter, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said he would only slightly penetrate her if he weren’t her father.

Clackamas County, Oregon – (satireworld.com)

A man has died at an Oregon meat packaging plant after falling into an industrial meat grinder. Rescue efforts were attempted. According to company officials in a carefully worded statement issues to the press, ‘only the man’s shoes were left unharmed and were returned to the next of kin.’

Rome – Gabriel Pinski is hanging out at a hostel in Italy right now.  He dropped out of college and has been traveling around the world for the last 2 years.  The 22 year old Pinski heard from a few friends that there are debates currently happening for a soon to be open position.  He wants the job.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania declared the only way to stop male Caucasians from using their guns and dangerous right-wing ideology in acts of domestic terrorism was to put women back in the kitchen. Santorum pledged to stop right-wing terrorism, and urged American women to help him by quickly finding a husband, having more kids, and getting reacquainted with working in their home, especially kitchen.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was the most embarrassing and awkward moment ever on international live television when Miss Universe host Steve Harvey ('Family Feud') announced the wrong winner, apologizing for misreading the names of the first runner-up and the Miss Universe winner in tonight's pageant in Las Vegas. Harvey announced Miss…

Camp David, MD
President Obama was accidentally wounded Sunday by a dropped shotgun during the annual President’s Cup skeet shooting tournament held by the Marine detachment guarding Camp David. The President was quickly flown to Walter Reed hospital where he was attended to by surgeon B.E. Morse who said “the President should recover in no time.”

On what was crowned as the highest opening weekend in film history, Star Wars fans around the globe flocked to the theatres to see their favorite characters in action on the big screen. But one fan in Lexington, Kentucky wasn't so lucky.

A growing number of Louisiana parents are threatening to take their children out of public schools that teach the use of Arabic numerals, which they say is state-sponsored promotion of Islam.

Jerry Springer has been announced to be the new chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Regulars complain that they don’t eat at McDonald’s for their health The biggest fast food restaurant in the business announced last month that they were introducing an alternative...>

Andy Murray will receive a personality courtesy of the BBC next year for services to Tennis, with the process of him gradually becoming a 3 dimensional human being shown in a series of documentaries presented by Billy or Melvyn Bragg. Both twins are ‘huge’ tennis fans. One said: ‘Andy is a tennis playing robot at the moment, and an imperfect one at that...

Over the years I have been hard on all forms of fundamentalism, regardless of the particular brand. So, Mr. McDooris, I see your “the Qur’an was revealed to Muhammad” myth and raise you a “burning Bush” one (which, incidentally, should have happened due to his war crimes). Whereas I expect more from our own, you expect less and…

Egypt's entire Mickey Mouse Club has been imprisoned while it's Christmas special was being aired, according to people close to the prison keys.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was a heart-breaking moment for millions of Filipinos who were rooting for Miss Philippines, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach, to be crowned this year's Miss Universe.  When the final moment came, Miss U.S.A was named 2nd runner-up, Miss Philippines as 1st runner-up, and Miss Colombia as the new Miss Universe…