The Environment Agency has responded to the floods in the north of England by raising its threat indicator from the baseline 'Tickety-boo' straight to 'Something really should be done', by-passing the interim stages of 'A bit of a rum do', 'Just not cricket' and 'Simply not on, old boy'.

by Roger Freed.With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe for this blatant ripoff of his famous poem, ‘The Raven.’   Once upon a day bright and cheery, while I hiked a trail loved [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

The White House (satireworld.com)

President Bill Clinton served in office from 1992 through 2000. During that time Oval Office Sex was a prime concern of the American people as rumors swirled and innuendo became dreaded reality…The President of the United States was indeed having sex in the Oval Office with an employed intern half his age! The resulting scandal was referred to as ‘Zippergate.’
Now we present.......Bill Clinton….The Lewinski Cronicles 1997 Part III

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - As if the former Bruce Jenner hadn't already shocked the world by announcing that he was transitioning to a woman, a second announcement by the now Caitlyn is sending chills and squeals across the globe. Americans woke up this morning in disbelief at the announcement that the 66-year-old…

The Hamptons, NY – (satireworld.com)

Yes, you heard it here first!

For years, Kim Kardashian, and her equally untalented family, have dominated magazine covers, TV celebrity news shows, and reality TV with pointless blathering, boring lifestyles, and hyped family situations that only truly brain dead fans could call reality and fact. Now, in the public interest satireworld.com will take a first step down the Celebrity Truth Highway and finally proclaim to the masses that have turned a blind eye, that…Kim Kardashian has a really fat ass!

NEW YORK (The Barbed Wire) - The Republican presidential field is scrambling this week to find a way forward after the shocking, recent departures of John McCain's BFF, Lindsey Graham, and former New York governor George Pataki. The announcements also crushed the dreams of millions who were hoping to see the first male president named Lindsey.

A cell phone video of a fatal shooting in which a veteran San Diego police officer shot and killed an unarmed man confirms the officer's earlier claims that the victim was calling him names.

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the struggling Republican presidential campaign of neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced the candidate would not be available to the press for the entire day. The press was waiting for planned remarks from Dr. Carson when reporters were told he had lost his pants while hunting a unicorn in his kitchen.

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)
Monica Lewinsky spoke at Forbes’ 30 Under 30 summit on Monday, opening up about her experience with cyber-bullying, her past relationship with President Bill Clinton, and how she’s more aligned with the Libertarian Party now since leaving the Democratic Party in 1999.

"Like giant Gummy Bears but hairy!" Kent Rugby, Confectioner

by Michael Egan.‘Lab Penis’ facility says request is not unique but its ‘aryan’ prescription ‘is unsual’ WINSTON-SALEM, NC — The Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine, which specializes in fake dicks, false [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

  “Prancer took a ground-to-air missile right in the keister last year. Luckily, he’s into that kind of thing.” —Santa Claus *Blitzenkreig & Holly Jolly Jihad joke both removed by the editor and repackaged for Humorfeed.

Beige has now been officially declared the ‘new black’ on the Isle of Wight. The popularity of beige trousers, skirts and jackets has seen most other colours, other than duck egg blue, relegated to the recycling bin. Top clothing outlets, including Newport High Street’s Edinburgh Woollen Mill, are fast running out of beige slippers and blousons.

Dog-whistle politics is a term that describes statements made by political candidates and people in elected positions phrased in ways intended to galvanize support from like-mined voters. At the same time such political revenuers try to avoid repulsing voters who are on the fence. “Family values” might be an example of a dog-whistle. Lately a…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - When she concluded her closing statement during the last Democratic Presidential Debate earlier this month, Hillary Clinton wished the American voters: 'May the Force be with you!" Pandering to the millions of Star Wars fans, Clinton may just have found the magic bullet to clinch her party's nomination. There could not have…

Raytheon announced today an exciting addition to its line of air-to-ground missiles: the AGM-98 “Hell Pig”, an air-to-ground missile with a two-pound can of bacon grease.

Berlin, Germany (satireworld.com)
Mohammed says he doesn’t miss Syria any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Nordic Peoples Pharmaceutical Company in suburban Berlin, where he cleans laboratories and keeps the floors highly waxed.

Paris – For anyone that was not able to be in Paris during the holiday season to see the exquisite lights, shame on you.  How long are you going to let yourself be the poor bastard that doesn’t treat yourself to the very best in the world?

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and loose cannon billionaire Donald Trump declared he was very afraid U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - a Democratic presidential candidate - will steal his supporters away by offering Americans actual solutions to the issues they are so angry and frustrated about. Trump criticized Sanders for attempting to expose him as the billionaire fraud he actually was, and giving Americans rational alternatives to punitive non-solutions based on hate and fear.

MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Mark Zuckerberg is tired of the hoax that has been circulating on Facebook, asking users to share a supposed message that the Facebook founder is giving away $4.5 Million to 1,000 people. Well, if you can't lick 'em, join 'em. That's what Zuckerberg is doing exactly. Today, Zuckerberg announced…