LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - A coalition of protesters briefly took over the Trump Towers in Las Vegas on Christmas eve, unfurling a huge banner from the building's penthouse that had a 'thumbs down' sign to indicate disapproval of all that the Republican presidential candidate stands for. The protesters included Muslims, Mexican Immigrants, women…

Trump Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com)

Rocking from his recent successful taunting of Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton by accusing her of being ‘schlonged’ by political neophyte Barack Obama back in 2008, Donald Trump again raised the ante by stating at a recent media gathering that ‘his schlong is bigger than Hillary’s!’

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Fox News entertainers Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly were detained by the New York City Police Department (NYPD) for stalking a black Santa Claus down Sixth Avenue and serenading him with the Christmas song "White Christmas." Fox News and the NYPD have both released statements declaring neither O'Reilly or Kelly was arrested, though witnesses claimed Bill O'Reilly came close to being arrested for "pushing his luck" with the officers.

English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is 'Christmastein Monster' Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?

We close out 2015 with the original trio of Jeremy White, Sunny Weathers, and Dorque host Knick Moore. Since all three have seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens, they discuss the movie and divulge tons of spoilers, but not before they tackle a few other topics.

A member of Bobby Jindal’s administration admits the outgoing governor is concerned he may not get back his $500 security deposit after moving out of the Louisiana Governor’s Mansion.

“Come with me if you want to leave. I’ll be wetback. AstalaVisa please.” —Arnold Schwarzenegger

We're asking our readers to donate their unwanted adult DVDs and Videos to our annual appeal for needy perverts this Winterval. Please give generously and rest assured that your smut will go to a good home.

LOS ANGELES (The Barbed Wire) - Embarrassed Family Feud and Miss Universe pageant host, Steve Harvey, is continuing to cleanse his conscience following his recent gaffe in announcing the wrong winner in the famous beauty contest. Harvey announced Ms. Colombia as the winner, when the real winner was Ms. Philippines, a mix-up that became a contest nightmare.

In a milestone for international space travel and cosmic cable-laying, proud astronaut Tim Peake has achieved the dream and crimped off the first ever British length on an orbital space station.

After having jettisoned his historic teddys' leg into the void 400km above earth, Tim emerged from the ablutions capsule to meet Mikhail Korniyenko.

Gallop, NM – (satireworld.com)

New Mexico’s game and fish commission issued a seven page report on the results of the opening day hunter’s tally from the controversial Giant Panda hunt being conducted in several of New Mexico’s prime and protected wilderness areas.

New York – If you’re planning on traveling to the Big Apple this year to see the giant ball drop on New Year’s Eve, there may be an unexpected surprise for you.  With Dick Clark no longer around, producers are feeling like Ryan Seacrest needs a little help to give the iconic show a bit more ‘umph.’

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced he was "giving America an early Christmas present" and suspended his campaign. Trump confessed his presidential run was the type of theater only a master political satirist like him could pull off, and chastised his supporters for thinking such a detestable and bigoted character should be President of the Unites States of America.

A 38-year-old woman has succumbed to injuries she received after hearing Donald Trump use the word ‘schlonged’ to describe Hillary Clinton’s failed 2008 presidential bid.

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)
The State Department has taken a request under consideration from the national headquarters of Planned Parenthood in which the controversial abortion organization has asked for more liberal access to the migrant guest worker visa program in order to help out with the upcoming PP annual harvesting of baby parts set to begin in peak season which is mid to late February.

Springfield, ??—Kwik-E Mart owner, Apu Nahasapeemapetilo, has experienced an increase in Muslim bias in recent weeks. The business owner points directly to several sermons by one Reverend Timothy Lovejoy of The First Church of Springfield. The store owner claims the Reverend is intentionally inciting violence against Muslims through controversial Sunday scripture quotes, such as: ‘Blessed…

Sid Morgan, author of the now famous festive pun, has ironically been electrocuted by a set of Christmas lights on Barnsley High Street.  The joke elevated Mr Morgan from an office worker to a world-wide celebrity and his work was translated into no less than two different languages.  He went on to tour the world for the next three decades where he would be booked to deliver the line at office Christmas parties.

Las Cruces, NM – (satireworld.com)

Every year, millions of Americans go “over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house” for Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner. Many, however, must stay home and cook the dinner themselves for the first time. This may be because finances do not permit them to travel, gas prices and airline costs are prohibitive, illness in the family, or they may just wish to establish their own holiday traditions. It could also just be “their turn” to host a rotating family meal.

Commenting on Hillary Clinton’s lengthy bathroom break during the Democratic debates last weekend, Donald Trump is calling the former secretary of state’s bowel movements “disgusting” and says that he personally hasn’t pooped in years.

(The Barbed Wire) - Speaking on Face the Nation this morning, Republican presidential candidate phenom, Jeb! Bush, said he hated being the front-runner in the early days of the presidential race. He much prefers the comfortable 5-6% polling zone that he has found himself in for months now.