DENVER (The Barbed Wire) - Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is fuming this week amid rumors he used human growth hormone (HGH) to recover from surgery several years ago. Al Jazeera, the source of record for football in the United States, claims in a report that Manning was supplied steroids from a clinic in Indianapolis in 2011.

Davenport, IA – Dallas Northcutt and his son, Lucas, decided that an uncharacteristically cold and snowy December day provided a perfect opportunity to get out onto the local hills and go sledding after a great Christmas holiday.  Lucas got his snow pants on, grabbed his sled, and bundled up to get ready for an amazing afternoon.  Dad didn’t grab his sled this time like he normally does.

'It's really important that we give the little children all we can until the war is won,' said Prime Minister David Cameron in his annual message. 'Not that we started it, of course. We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning. Is that right?’

“This may be the most significant blow to X-Mas since Seal Team Soros took out FAO Schwartz.” —General B. Humbug

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - A 7-year-old Chihuhua mix has filed a lawsuit in Nevada against an unnamed Las Vegas resort and casino hotel for fraudulent charges on her MasterCard. In the complaint filed today in a Nevada district court, the dog, Robin, said in a sworn statement that she and her owner checked…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the results of a TNA study were released and showed over 67% of Americans were eager for a new ground war in the Middle East, which will initially target the Islamic State (ISIS) before putting Iran in its sights. The hawkish Americans asserted there should always be money for war, and American citizens should have to pay the price of funding the overseas empire with cuts to social safety net programs, education, infrastructure, and healthcare, among many other things.

An estimated 2,000 useless Arizonans were deported from the state this week following the passage of a new law that many complain could lead to profiling and other abuse.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

According to liberal pundits, national figures in the right-wing media have a puzzling habit of attacking Democratic National Committee chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s hair. They have coupled this with other sexist attacks…For instance, Rush Limbaugh’s description of her as “one of those women you’re happy somebody else married.”
Here's a few current comments about Frizzle-dwarf and her hair….

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and U.S. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas both claimed to be the person who wanted to curb the most civil liberties. The two privately conceded it was critical for the eventual Republican presidential nominee to secure the block of conservative voters that routinely claimed a Democratic president was taking their freedoms away, but enthusiastically volunteered their freedoms to a Republican president while caught up in a nationalistic fervor.

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)

Whenever you hear the left talk about gun control proposals it’s always in the name of ‘common sense’. So we on the right researched the issue and have come up with Gun Control reform that makes common sense, especially after you examine the data on past gun related murders.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - In a rare show of bi-partisanship, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today embraced President Barack Obama's plan to deport tens of thousands of undocumented immigrants beginning in January. Undocumented families in the U.S. could be rounded up and deported , according to a report that has shocked immigrants rights’ advocates…

New York NY-(satireworld.com)

General Original Products (GOP) Inc, headquartered in the Trump Towers in Manhattan, has announced that a limited addition of Obama Clocks is now available for sale to the American public.

EAST PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Today, conservative Uncle Dick Goop gave himself immunity from having to provide evidence in support of his political arguments while he attended a Christmas dinner at his mother-in-law's house. Goop, a resident of neighboring Massachusetts, refused to grant such immunity to any of his progressive family members, whom he hounded mercilessly to provide evidence for everything they said.

Once upon a Christmas cheery, while I pondered, slightly bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious bottle of very fine Aberlour
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"Tis Ephram's monkey," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
Only this and nothing more."

What Christmas song drives you batty? After fleeing the pharmacy because I just couldn’t bring myself to listen to one more Rumpa-pum-pum, I went online and asked my Facebook friends...

Le Bourget, FR—World leaders reconvened in France today at the request of the Heat Miser. November’s meeting at the same venue was a multinational effort hailed as “the planet’s last, best hope to stave off the impact of climate change before the Force Awakens opens.” After a thorough Palinesque vetting process, The GOP chose The…

After flooding wrecked some houses in parts of Cumbria for a second or even a third time this month, local residents have been asked to spare a thought for others. Most of those in the merely soggy parts of Britain are facing up to a nightmarish Christmas Day in the hearts of their families.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - A coalition of protesters briefly took over the Trump Towers in Las Vegas on Christmas eve, unfurling a huge banner from the building's penthouse that had a 'thumbs down' sign to indicate disapproval of all that the Republican presidential candidate stands for. The protesters included Muslims, Mexican Immigrants, women…

Trump Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com)

Rocking from his recent successful taunting of Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton by accusing her of being ‘schlonged’ by political neophyte Barack Obama back in 2008, Donald Trump again raised the ante by stating at a recent media gathering that ‘his schlong is bigger than Hillary’s!’