NEW YORK – Huma Abedin, the woman with the worst taste in men, and Hillary Clinton’s shadow, has been burned again by her sexting-addicted husband, Anthony Weiner. This makes the third time, and Huma said today she’s had enough. Anthony Weiner has been caught, once again, sexting to a female stranger.

Brussels, Belgium, Arsehole Of The Universe – (SatireWorld.com)
Not since Ecuadorian madman Rafael Correa tried pissing all over Chevron in a corrupt $19bn racketeering lawsuit comprehensively shot down by the US courts has an American corporation been targeted so cynically by shady foreign chancers gunning for a heist.

'To suggest that black men dance like that is offensive,' said a spokesman, suggesting that the Morris Dancers 'learn to loosen up a bit and get down.'

“Donald Trump is OK. And, with the check I just received for that two letter medical assessment, I can finally pay off my loans to Trump Medical College.”  —Dr. Nick  

Trump’s new team has come up with a unique strategy, going after ignored demographics. The first group they have selected are “Players and Cheating Husbands.” Trump plans to address groups of single men in frat houses and strip clubs and share memories of his youthful playboy...

New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
The sexual misconduct charges are flying faster than ever before as the election season becomes less than ten weeks from from the big day. This week it’s Hillary Clinton caught up in the sexual perversion dragnet by a revelation from her First Lady past where she reportedly sexually harassed FOX News head Roger Ailes during a summer weekend in the Hamptons.

New York, New York – (satireworld.com)
Huma Abedin is separating from her husband Anthony Weiner in the wake of his latest sexting scandal.

"I was expecting UFO aliens to be short and hairy with a fat belly. My bad." Harry Zonderblurb, Predictor

Delicious LibTard Tears!! It’s all over for Hillary Clinton who will soon be dropping out of the presidential race after new evidence that cannot be legally be ignored by the federal government.

The man, Peter Simmons, 29, decided to film the event for posterity so he could make his friends and family suffer through the ordeal or watching it whenever they next come to visit. However far from being satisfied with using his mobile phone, shaky hand, and indistinct angles – Peter spent £3,000 on a professional camcorder and tripod set up and ran the birthing room like the famously demanding director.

Jasper, GA – (SatireWorld.com)
A Georgia chiropractor is accused of sexually violating three female patients by using a controversial medical procedure he calls ‘Intravaginal massage.’ The Georgia State Medical Board says there is no recognized procedure like this anywhere on their list of approved medical treatments.

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com)
If radical-leftist ex-community organizer Barack Obama is Chicago’s favorite son, then Chicago-born Hillary Clinton must be the favorite daughter of the windy city’s most socialist elite.
Previously unpublished correspondence between Hillary Clinton and the late communist left-wing organizer Saul Alinsky reveals new details about her very close relationship with the controversial Chicago activist and has shed light on her early sexual-ideological development.

Thursday 25th August 2016: Sources close to Jedi Master Jeremy Corbyn scotched reports last night that the force was to do with a newly bruised Richard Branson almost killing himself out on a bike ride today. This only 24 hours after Virgin Trains claimed CCTV showed the leader, 71, walked past empty seats on the way to plonking his beloved socialist bottom on the floor to make a point about overcrowding.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - The film version of Dan Brown's novel, 'Inferno' will be shown in theaters throughout the Philippines this October.  But not in  Metro Manila. The Alliance of City Mayors  of Metro Manila (ACMMM) has unanimously agreed to ban the Tom Hanks starrer from being shown in theaters in the metropolis.…

A fuzzy funny kitty has pounced ahead of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the latest presidential polls show. Yes he did. Didn't he? Yes he did! That fuzzy funny kitty.

Diego, CA – (satireworld.com)
Three months after President Barack Obama declared their mass arrival an “urgent humanitarian situation,” thousands of children who fled Central America are about to get free golfing lessons for the first time.

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com)
A town meeting was held with the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (SFBS) to discuss citizen complaints about coyotes living in the “City by the Bay,” eating small dogs and cats.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles, Las Vegas Bureau) - Taking his cue from recent news reports that France had started to implement a "no burkini" policy in its beaches, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump told reporters today that a similar rule will be implemented immediately at all Trump hotels and resorts. A Trump spokesperson told The Adobo…

Trump continued, "A lot of people are saying American small businesses prefer to be conned by an American rather than by a Mexican. All of the small businesses I've worked with say the same thing."

The Queen has several bottles of bubbly laying around her palatial estate after this year’s 90th birthday celebration and is eager to taste of its delights, according to anonymous sources within her staff.