IOWA (The Barbed Wire) - During a CNN sponsored town hall meeting today, Hillary Clinton told the live audience that, if elected, the first thing she would do on her first day in office would be to abolish the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). The Freedom of Information Act is a law that gives citizens the…

Money Saving Expert consumer blogger Tim Peake saved a whopping £8.00 on his journey from his home in Chelmsford to work in Sheffield by going via the International Space Station instead of going by rail. Major Peake said ‘Obviously it isn’t for everyone, but if you’re willing to go 3,000 times around the Earth to...

And Salmonella still has nothing to do with salmon.

Is it fair to make sweeping generalizations solely based on longitude and latitude? To taunt his rival and sow seeds of evangelical doubt, Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz informed Donald Trump that the rest of the country was concerned about his alarming New York Values. Totally ignoring the greater danger...

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Sempra Energy declared the uncontrolled, gargantuan natural gas leak at its Aliso Canyon Oil Field was actually releasing desperately needed methane into Earth's atmosphere. The parent corporation of Southern California Gas Company (SoCal) asserted methane was "like vitamins for the atmosphere," and that over 2 million tons of vitamins had been dispatched since the leak started on October 23rd, 2015.

The Arizona students who spelled out the N-word have been invited to the Republican party’s first Annual Spelling Bee.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

The celebrity iCloud hacker seems to have struck again. This time releasing more humiliating photos of democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, age 69, showing her dressed semi-nude and in very provocative clothing.

CHARLOTTE — Carolina Panthers third-string quarterback Joe Webb attempted to get some attention today off of all the cov…

“Her questions about immigration reform were out of line,” Rubio said. “I was standing my ground, per accepted Florida law. She had it coming.”

Hoping to emulate the success of Movember, the charity fad that has raised millions of dollars for testicular cancer research over the last several years, activists in California have announced the inauguration of “Fepubary.”

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles) - Now it can be told. There was no Donald Trump in last night's FOX News GOP presidential debate.  He has dropped out. The runner-up in the GOP presidential polls has also hinted he's next to quit. For those who watched the televised debate, they know that Cruz threatened to…

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) -  Leave it to the Filipinos to correct a major error, like Steve Harvey's announcement of the wrong winner in last month's Miss Universe beauty pageant in Las Vegas. Miss Colombia wore the crown for several minutes before Harvey came back on stage to admit he mistakenly announced the South…

Paris, FR—Shortly after Trump’s unveiling a team of experts deemed the portrait “a complete fraud.” They were immediately suspicious of Donald Trump’s claim this was a portrait painted by Picasso himself. During a press conference, The Donald made several statements that raised questions about the painting’s authenticity. “Many years ago I commissioned Picasso to complete a self-portrait of myself.…

Yes, it’s true – the Rock Bottom Remainders are a rock band with Stephen King, Matt Groening, Dave Barry and more in it! Unannounced to most of us, one of the most incredible rock and roll groups has passed before us and we didn’t even notice it. Maybe most of us were too stoned.

Manila, Philippines – (satireworld.com)

Back pay mathematics is going to be a real tough chore for the Japanese Army pay masters to come to grips with in the next few months. Especially distributing paychecks for the 134 men who’ve been on continuous combat duty in the remote mountains of the Philippines since 1943.

A recent outbreak of the Zeta virus has caused a major public health scare. Thought to be activated by pictures of Catherine Zeta-Jones, the virus mainly...

Spike Lee and Jada Pinkett Smith are not pleased with the racial makeup of the 2016 Oscar nominees, so they are calling for a “conscientious absenteeism” -- if I may offer a suitably puffed-up term -- of the 88th Academy Awards. My first thought upon reading this news was, who cares? And then I realized that a great many people care deeply about what stars think, and that few people care about what I think.

A new porn domain was discovered in the worldwide web by entrepreneurial explorers yesterday - a rare find in a realm where such names were thought to have long been extinct.

Sunny Weathers explains to Jared Kendall and Jeremy White why you shouldn’t judge a person by one prolonged, rage-filled episode in traffic.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, 9-1-1 operators across the country announced they were bracing themselves for a sharp rise in calls related to shattered television and computer screens during the Republican presidential primary debate tonight. Virtually all 9-1-1 operators and heightened numbers of first responders will be working tonight, and both groups expected injuries like lacerations, severe blood loss, electrocutions, and wounds filled with glass, among many others.