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CANTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Dunkin' Brands Group, Inc. CEO Nigel Travis announced today his company supports a $15 per day minimum wage. Travis declared the move was in response to the labor movement seeking a $15 minimum wage.
LAREDO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Every so often, politicians and celebrities are caught in uncompromising situations -- in public restrooms. It is no secret that Republican presidential candidate likes women. That's why he owns several beauty pageants and has been married three times. But who knew he also likes using women's public restrooms? Trump…
Following a string of successful blockbusters that includes “Captain America,” “The Avengers,” and “Ironman,” the film production company Marvel Studios has announced that it will soon branch out into the world of comic books.
NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) — Ground broke Monday on the President Donald J. Trump Library and Museum in Upper Manhattan.  Funded solely by Donald J. Trump, the $1.5 billion project is touted to be the largest of all the other presidential libraries.
Phoenix, AZ – “It’s the most irresponsible and heinous act that I’ve witnessed in my 20 years on the force,” explains Sergeant David Willingham.  “I’m no court judge but the owners of this car and beautiful AR-15 should be locked up with the key thrown away.  If there was intent, I can only pray that the death penalty is explored as an option for punishment.”
THE PENTAGON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Pentagon thanked Fox News for encouraging idiots with guns to "guard" recruitment centers in Wisconsin, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, and elsewhere after the July 16th gun attacks on two unarmed military posts that killed five. The Army Recruiting Command especially wanted to thank Fox News for creating a situation where unarmed servicemen have to guess if random men armed with guns outside of their posts are going to attack them or "protect" them.
A Chelsea fan who received a banning order for racially abusing a man on the Paris Metro has been offered his old job back.
Donald Trump: the gift of loud that keeps on blaring For all those bemoaning the lack of noise in the Republican presidential sweepstakes, it’s time to get down on our knees and give thanks to Donald Trump, because whatever that man touches turns to loud. He’s the gift that keeps on blaring.
The drive-thru fast-food chain Checkers & Rally’s plans to build in the Baton Rouge area about a dozen restaurants that will eventually close and be converted to payday loan operations.
Japanese company Mitsubishi was criticised last night for saying sorry in a comedic Japanese accent, it was claimed last night.
Jeremy, Sunny, and Mike Honore wonder what perks would warrant analingus in exchange for a job at JL's Place. Sunny and Mike also re-enact a grandmother getting conned out of $13,000.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles®) -   For far too long, white people have been absent from films, television shows, news anchor desks, advertising billboards and product labels. But finally, they are taking the spotlight away from people of color, thanks to a new MTV show, "White People." The documentary, produced by Filipino undocumented…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The Republican National Committee announced today it will be having all of its presidential candidates compete with each other to see who can make a child of illegal immigrants cry the fastest. The competition will be named "Only the Republican Who Makes a Child of Illegal Immigrant Parents Cry Fastest Can Truly Protect America," and will take place at 9pm EST on Thursday, August 20th near the El Paso, Texas border crossing.
At least four women were blinded and several more were seriously disgusted when an unidentified man wore open-toe sandals in the subway on Friday, according to WNYZ.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  Grammy Award-winning singer Chris Brown has been in trouble many times before, but this time around, he chose to get in trouble in a country that would not put up with his shenanigans. Brown was barred from leaving the Philippines because of a contract dispute, the official Philippines News Agency reported…
A herd of whining vaginas has petitioned the Tangipahoa Parish School Board to postpone this year’s start of school. Apparently, it’s too hot for their precious spawn to learn to read, write, and bully the weak.
Singers Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert announced via a statement to The Associated Press on Monday that their four-year marriage is over. What do you think about this?
Is spare part surgery keeping the Queen and Prince Philip alive? Journalist claims dead royals 'stripped for spares' as Royal couple bid to outlive Prince Charles and prevent his accession to throne.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Texas Rick Perry announced he will be swapping his reading glasses for a monocle and a smoking pipe. The move was characterized by political observers as Perry conceding the reading glasses had failed to make him appear more intelligent to Americans.
SILICON VALLEY,  California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - A plan backed by venture capitalist Tim Draper to split California into six states has gained enough signatures to make the November 2016 ballot, the plan's backers say. On Tuesday, Draper told USA Today the campaign had garnered 1.3 million signatures, well over the approximately 808,000 needed. The signatures…

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