Satireworld

Seaside Heights, New Jersey – (satireworld.com)

Alfonse Pepitone recalled the terrible summer weekend in 2009 when New Jersey EPA officials segregated the cast members of Jersey Shore, a reality TV show. Pepitone played 'Gonzo the Gorgeous Ginzo', a local pizzeria owner who delivered custom ‘tomato pies’for the show regulars. Pepitone recalls, that while in EPA custody, the cast members were forced to give investigators saliva and skin scrapings for DNA evidence to be used in a forensic investigation. The investigation was initiated when local residents alerted the state over a massive po

Des Moines Iowa – (satireworld.com)

The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has sent notices of heavy fines being levied for inappropriate use of food funding in school districts of 10 pork producing states. USDA charges that federal government funds were spend on other food products than those items specified in First Lady Michelle Obama’s 2013 Healthy, Hunger Free Kids public school lunch program.

North Korea, (satireworld.com)

Life of the Party, and Chairman for Life, Kim Jong -Un announced to the world that the DPNK will set off a 100 megaton nuclear warhead on the surface of the moon sometime this year. The nuclear device will be delivered using a Long Dong military ICBM and will target the mostly uninhabited Mons Delphi region of the moon.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

First Lady Michelle Obama had the White House basement cleaned to remove all the Bovine Excrement generated for the president by White House Press Secretaries Robert Gibbs, Jay Carney and Josh Earnest. She needed a cool dry place to store all her turnips for this year’s school lunch program.

(satireworld.com)

The Tidy Bowl Man says he's spent almost half his life 'living-with-the-dueces' and says he'll miss seeing all the familiar bottoms he's grown so fond of over the years. He appreciates the nifty dollar bill dispenser the folks at Revlon gave him at the retirement party.

The Tidy Bowl Man says he’s spent almost half his life ‘living-with-the-dueces and says he’ll miss seeing all the familiar bottoms he’s grown so fond of over the years. He appreciates the nifty dollar bill dispenser the folks at Revlon gave him at the retirement party.

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com)
A drunk illegal alien allegedly posed as a TSA officer at San Francisco airport before pulling two women into a private screening area to give them a pat down, police said after the two women complained to authorities.

Washington AC/DC – (Satireworld.com)
A newly refurbished unisex pubic convenience at the E Barrett Prettyman United Snakes Courthouse was the scene of a nasty homophobic attack on its sanitary towel vending equipment last Friday when vandals daubed obscenities about non-Sharia compliant periodwear.

New York NY- (satireworld.com)
The New York Times (NYT) faced with a declining readership had to find new ways to boost the paper’s circulation. There was a time when New Yorker’s read this paper while riding on the NYC Subway/ commuter trains or having a Danish pastry or a Bagel and a cup of coffee in the morning. Since the paper has moved to the Democratic political left, even with on-line subscriptions, readership has still decreased.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
It may be discriminatory for landlords to refuse to rent to people with criminal records according to King Obama, even though the Fair Housing Act doesn’t include criminals as a protected class. US Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is twisting facts via circular reasoning for the king to play the race card.

Hollywood, CA -(satireworld.com)

The long lost Star Trek episodes have been found in an abandoned vault in Century City. The lost episodes have been a frequent subject of conversation at Trekkie conventions for almost twenty five years. The revelation that they were found intact, and in their original sealed containers, has raised hopes that they will be released for sale soon.

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)
Minority groups across the United States were visually upset and preparing to march against their local cable companies at the announcement of a new television station. White Entertainment Television (WET) will make its debut in November on over 92% of cable and all satellite systems. Those systems not yet signed up expect to be on board with the new plan before the end of this month.

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com)
The Chairman of the Philosophy Department at the University of Chicago has announced the addition of two new philosophy classes beginning in the upcoming fall semester of 2016. These classes are required for politically correct liberal philosophy majors. However, these classes are elective minors for conservative students (if there are any on campus) and those who don’t believe that approximately 0.3% of the US population should radically affect legislation for the other 99.7%.

Lee County Courthouse – (SatireWorld.com)
Many people ….(what am I saying!)…Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work (without pay, of course), downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on unpadded seats in stuffy rooms, and watching/hearing self-important attorneys and judges. Eighty percent of the time, this all ends with you going home without even being selec

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
President Obama attended the latest Nuclear Security Summit held at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center in the city to discuss achievements in preventing nuclear weapons proliferation around the world. Unfortunately, Iran, Russia, North Korea and ISIS weren’t at the table. A communiqué was released patting everyone on the back, but Obama again refused to equate Islamic terrorism with ISIS and that group’s intention of obtaining nuclear materials.

New York – (Satireworld.com)
A poll by online agony aunt DragThruTheMud.con has revealed the Prime Minister of Iceland Sigmundur David Gunn-Laugh-Son sitting top of man-eater Mrs Rupert Murdoch’s refuseniks list after calling her out as ‘a man in drag’ at the Vienna Spring Ball last year.

Topeka, KS – (satireworld.com)

Conjoined twins Mary and Ethel Burke are still fighting and have been for over 42 years. The riff started so long ago, no one really remembers what caused it or who was to blame. All friends and family know is this…."they both hate each other and rarely talk."

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)

New York Democratic Senator, Charles ‘the tumor’ Schumer, has a lot to explain to constuituents after an open microphone incident in Chicago stunned reporters as they dropped their iphones in disbelief. New York voters are in shock over what they call a blantant case of sexual harrassment.

Atlantic Beach, SC – (SatireWorld.com)

Financially bankrupt, politically corrupt, and dysfunctional Atlantic Beach, SC has pulled out all the stops this year to insure that the annual ‘Black Bike Week’ is not only successful, but finally turns a ‘profit’ by naming the First Couple as Honorary Marshals of the motorcycle festival for 2016.

Paris, France-(SatireWorld.com)

>Found in awkward position.
>Family upset-Rushing to scene.
>Police investigate workers.
>Manager detained.

Police and investigators are in a quandary after reports trickled in that the Paris Hilton is dead due to drug use. Fans flocked to the scene as health officials and police investigators combed the area for clues and evidence.

Bonn, Germany – (satireworld.com)

A recently discovered trove of unseen Nazi secret documents dating from the Hitler era, disclosed a secret many allied intelligence services have overlooked for more than 65 years….Adolph Hitler was totally color blind and a real bad sport about practical jokes being played upon him.