Docsleaze

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time, a mad scientist finds himself cuckolded by his priapic alter-ego, released by imbibing his own experimental erectile dysfunction treatment. Can the Rev help?

Britons vent anger at government's incompetent handling of pandemic by garroting, burning and hacking to death ministers in violent online game. Virtual mobs seek head of Boris Johnson in order to secure victory. Has game inspired real life vigilantes to chase Covid-deniers and lockdown sceptics up trees?

British public warned of existence of a new, more virulent strain of Boris Johnson. Women warned to stay at home as new slicker, less buffoonish Boris mutation poses greater threat of impregnation. Boris Johnson deniers dismiss new variant as 'scare tactic', claim original is actually shaved ape.

US public demands to know where Batman was during Capitol insurrection? Absence of superheroes during Trump terrorists' attempt at sedition criticised as comic book nerds ask whether suppressed Michael Moore Justice League movie predict coup attempt?

Is Rudy Giuliani really a cyborg lawyer sent back in time by future President Trump to derail Biden election victory? Did future Joe Biden bring Covid-19 back in time to undermine Trump presidency? Incredible claims that present moment in time is focal point of two competing timelines' attempts to prevail!

Local journalist claims Rudy Giuliani's laptop found in Preston computer shop. Alleges hard drive full of gay porn. Is President's personal lawyer involved in bizarre plot to finance election challenge through proceeds of adult film making?

Did the Queen spend lock down engaged in sex and drug fueled orgies in her Windsor Castle bunker? Wild tabloid tales of naked ladies-in-waiting engaged in gladitorial contests and soap stars forced to perform shows live and at gun point emerge.

Are Democrats planning to use trick or treating kids to scare Donald Trump to death this Halloween? Right-wing commentator claims to have uncovered evil leftist plot for children in terrifying masks and costumes to keep knocking on White House door and enrage President into fatal heart attack.

Did Donald Trump secretly finance Antifa and Black Lives Matter in order to ferment social unrest and rally extreme right in his support? Incredible conspiracy claims made by journalist as some Trump supporters question fairness not just of mail in votes, but secret ballots in general.

Have experimental Covid treatments turned Donald Trump into ravening beast? Top scientists express fears that side effects from untested drugs could have transformed President into troglodyte, flesh hungry cannibal eating his way through White House staff or, worse, a black man. Supporters fear the worst.

Top crime figures demand government lift lockdown to facilitate their members. Robberies, burglaries and street crimes at a standstill due to anti-Covid measures. Crime unions claim fewer people at home and more potential victims on the streets needed to kickstart UK crime.

Are celebrities exploiting captive audience provided by coronavirus lockdown? Accusations that inane celebrity videos driving housebound population to brink of insanity as instances of arson, attempted murder and suicide rise sharply.

Has the real Boris Johnson been replaced by clones? Journalist posits incendiary theory that Prime Minister actually died of Covid-19 and cloned by Tory Party to avoid public panic. As many as three Boris clones claimed to be on loose.

Small communities fearing panic buying bands of brigands might fall upon their local shops recruit mercenaries to protect their villages. Devon pensioners engage 'Magnificent Seven', while others employ mercenaries to to clear bandits threatening OAP supermarket shopping hours.

As UK goes into lockdown, popular culture struggles to deal with restrictions imposed by social distancing rules in order to ensure that it is show business as usual. Proposals for gossip columnists to simulate celebrity incidents with dolls while suggestions that football season be continued via Subuteo mooted.

Will Boris Johnson's much vaunted virility, as he gets another woman up the duff, prove to be his downfall? Top Labour spin doctor plans election broadcast simulating Prime Minister in bed copulating with a woman - believes public revulsion at sight of all those wobbling buttocks and horrendous grunting will persuade voters to abandon Boris.

Is coronavirus 'Fake News'? Conspiracy theories 'go viral' as President Trump claims Covid-19 is Chinese/Democrat conspiracy to discredit him, while UK conspiracy theorist claims virus is cover up for zombie apocalypse.

Constitutional crisis or cobblers? Will Prince Harry and Meghan's decision to renounce royal life and live on council estate in Slough result in end of the monarchy as we know it? Royal experts disagree as to consequences of Harry becoming Uber driver.

What lies behind Pope Francis’ assault on a woman in St Peter’s Square on New Year’s Eve? Was he fighting off sex starved Papal groupie, or was he preparing to fight evil with his fists?

Man threatens to sue NHS for reviving him from clinical death. Claims medics' actions wrenched him unwillingly from heavenly paradise. Controversially claims hereafter is eternal pub presided over by Christ the Geezer.