NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News announced Iran had launched an attack on the Islamic State's "Muhammad Moon Base 1" believing the base was holding afterlife virgins hostage. Fox News alerted its viewers to the existence of the Islamic State's moon base on July 18th - when it warned of an imminent attack on the United States - and today criticized the Obama Administration's failure to do anything about it.

Office workers at TechDorling Inc. have spent the last year working hard to not broach the subject of the Black Lives Matter movement.

Philadelphia, PA –  After being given an 18th chance at being a starting quarterback in the NFL, Tim Tebow knows that this is a critical time for him to show what he can do.  Always the lightning rod, Tebow goes against most conventions people are comfortable with.  He flaunts his religious beliefs and doesn’t hide the fact that he’s left-handed.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - At least he is consistent with his views on immigration and birthright citizenship. Recently, Donald Trump laid out his immigration policy wherein he maintained that children born in America of undocumented immigrants should not be automatically considered U.S. citizens. And that includes Chinese pandas born in the National Zoo.…

THE VATICAN, Italy - (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Pope Francis has rejected a request by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for a private audience when the leader of the Roman Catholic Church visits the United States September 22-27, 2015. During his papal visit, Francis will meet with President and Mrs. Barack Obama, address a…

Sen. Bernie Sanders came a close second in Monday night’s Iowa Democratic caucuses, narrowly losing after Clinton snagged the remaining delegates by winning a classic game of chance.

Washington – It’s getting harder and harder to tell if GOP candidates running for president are saying things to differentiate themselves or just losing their minds.  Today on NBC’s Meet The Press, Scott Walker launched an offensive lob towards Canada.  

CHICAGO — Chicago Bears head coach John Fox wept himself to sleep last night while browsing through Facebook and Instagr…

ROWAN COUNTY, Kentucky (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Much of the media focus has been on Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who is now in jail for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, in violation of a high court order But in the same county clerk office, there is another Davis, Nathan, who…

CUPERTINO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The stage is set for Apple's big announcement of its new products.  September 9 is the date when CEO Tim Cook unveils the new smart phones and tablets which would definitely seal his company's status as the leader in computer technology. While much of the speculation revolves around the…

Wayne Rooney is now a better footballer than Bobby Charlton, after scoring 50 goals for England.

Rooney, 32, didn't howl with tears after scoring the most important goal of his Bobby Charelton beating career.

A Donald Trump supporter is proudly showing off his new tattoo of the Republican front runner in tabloids across the globe, it appeared when we looked in other tabloids as we don't have it in ours.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Congressional Republicans thanked the millions of misinformed voters who think they know stuff for giving them control of Congress and making the upcoming October government shutdown possible. Fox News and other right-wing propaganda outlets were also acknowledged for feeding Republican voters a steady, poisonous diet of misinformation that turned them into voters who were more dangerous than uninformed voters.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - A TNA study released today showed 98.6% of Donald Trump's supporters were unable to spell or define "xenophobia." The study also showed roughly the same results for those who were asked to spell or define "authoritarianism."

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - General Motors, a person who confessed to killing over 100 people using a defective ignition switch in automobiles it manufactured, agreed to pay $900 million yesterday. This morning, GM announced it was "very sorry" for the first degree murders it was responsible for committing over more than a decade, and asserted a trial resulting in either life in prison or the death penalty was not a realistic criminal penalty for the type of person it was.

Vatican City – Pope Francis, ahead of a visit to the United States starting September 22nd, has wasted no time in creating a wave of hope for the God fearing church goers as well as the sinful dirty atheists.  

Having finally laid to rest their classic horror monsters by pitching them against Abbott and Costello in a series of cheap B-movies, Universal Pictures, desperate to prop up the dire duo’s film career, turned their attention to another of their best loved franchises - Sherlock Holmes.

THE PENTAGON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Secretary of Defense Ashton B. Carter defended the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter from critics who claimed the aircraft's wings randomly falling off was "a serious and potentially dangerous design flaw." Lockheed Martin announced it was "looking into the alleged wing malfunction," and would require "no less than another billion or so" to remedy what it classified as "a low-priority design glitch."

Local fast-food worker Darren Grossebite, 24, who drives a beat-up 1991 Suzuki Swift, obviously has a large cock, according to onlookers familiar with the inverse correlation between the size of a man’s vehicle and his penis.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Two of the country's minority journalism organizations today formally protested the use of the term 'illegal alien' in the new Hollywood film, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The Asian American Journalists Association(AAJA) and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ) sent a strongly-worded joint letter to Zack Snyder accusing…