Check Please!
Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)

Another woman has come forward to accuse comedian Bill Cosby of sexual assault, claiming the event took place as recently as 2008, which is within the California statute of limitations.
A neuroscientist told The Atlantic, "We fed our octopus more than Ecstasy. How could we not?"
Denver, CO - (satireworld.com)
Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now sued the State of Colorado in federal court, over further harassment by the CCRC for his refusal to bake a cake celebrating a gender transition.
Pittsburgh, PA - (satireworld.com)

Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).
Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com)

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s. The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.” Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and Drug Administration to determine the exact way that the cookie does crumble.
Concord, NH – (satireworld.com)

The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors.
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.
In order to achieve FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) experts advise an individual's net assets should equal at least twenty-five times their annual cost of living. The following are some (not) useful tips for reaching this goal
“We were as surprised an anyone,” said the lead technician on the project, Professor Luken Balden. “But the universe is, in fact, exactly shaped like this popular American cellular phone. Go figure!"
Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com)

Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf. She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.
Transylvania,Romania – (satireworld.com)

The famous Dracula’s Castle, the Transylvania landmark once home of Vlad the Impaler and also known as Bran Castle, is up for sale in Romania. The sale price is estimated to be about $150 million in U.S. dollars.
While the castle has little indoor plumbing (except public bathrooms in the tourist areas), it does offer the following amenities:
Washington DC – SatireWorld.com)
A UK newspaper reports that the Obama administration, via the National Security Agency (NSA), has been collecting the phone records of millions of Verizon customers each day under a top secret court order.
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
Listen to these smooth, dulcid tones and before you know it you’ll be thinner, cuter, and more attractive, even if just to yourself… yeah, it’s mostly yourself. That’s okay too. Tell us in the comments what you’d like us to…Read more Weight Loss Hypnosis for Free, if that’s the Sort of Humbug you’re into ›
The BBC, taken by surprise by a production that people actually want to watch, have produced a list of spin off productions to be screened over the next twelve months.   The Oddie-Guard – a world renowned ornithologist protecting birds on a three seater bicycle.  Nobody knows why the birds are on a bycicle. The...
By September of 2018, Trump’s even more frantic and reckless as his allies are falling one by one to Mueller, or were fired, or fled of their own volition. The Republicans may well be sacrificing their party on the long term for their loyalty to this dangerous clown. Trump will likely destroy the GOP as more young people register to vote and join the resistance.…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 9/18/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
New York City, NY (satireworld.com)

As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates. They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.
In an impromptu visit surprising the Judiciary Committee that recommended his confirmation 27 years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas stopped by the US Senate this week to reminisce with the legislative branch about his hearing way back in the day.
A lot of bad things have been said about my husband Les Moonvez in the press lately. That he's a sexual predator. That he's a creep. That he exploited his position as Chairman and CEO of CBS to coerce women to submit to his crude sexual advances.
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

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