Trump's Temper Rises as Own Defense Takes Up Argument for Conviction

Former President Donald Trump's opinion of his impeachment defense has reportedly slipped further after his own attorneys began to argue in favor of conviction on the Senate Floor this afternoon.

Trump, who continues to watch the proceedings from his Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, became increasingly frustrated throughout the day as his lawyers seemed to gradually convert to the prosecution's side, according to a close source.

"Did President Trump incite a mob to storm the Capitol? Absolutely. Did he do so in an attempt to overturn a fair and democratic election that he lost? Sure, he did," Trump's lead counsel Bruce Castor remarked in response to Democratic Manager Joe Neguse's allegations of the same.

"Does he deserve to be impeached? Yeah, probably," Castor concluded.

Also particularly vexing to the former President were a number of unflattering characterizations made of him by his lawyers about his weight and intelligence.

"Does Donald Trump really know what he's doing? Not a chance. He's not a very bright guy," Trump attorney David Schoen argued. "He's a guy - a bit on the chubby side - who probably doesn't even know what the word 'insurrection' means. Every day he looks in the mirror, and at that hairpiece on his head, and proceeds to go out in public. If anything, he should be in some kind of assisted living facility."