NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Earlier this week, the Rev. Al Sharpton declared that “people that were from Puerto Rico all would have to go back if their parents were undocumented.” In other words, Sharpton believes that Puerto Ricans are not  U.S. citizens. Soon enough, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, while speaking to a…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, excerpts from former Vice President Dick Cheney's presidential memoir titled "Leading America From Underneath The White House" were released. The 33,000-page book absent of pictures and attempts to personify Cheney was heavy on its criticism of George W. Bush, which the text referred to as "King Meddler."

LSU’s live tiger mascot said he’s more willing to attend home football games with sophomore quarterback Brandon Harris at the helm.

ROWAN COUNTY, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis announced she only wanted to choose what laws to follow, because of "God or something." Davis explained her position as she continued to refuse gay couples a marriage license after the Supreme Court declined to exempt her from doing her job, because of her cited reason of "stuff."

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Nothing will stop Donald Trump's desperate quest to become the next president of the United States -- not Hillary Clinton, not the Mexicans, not the Chinese, not Fox News' Megyn Kelly, not Jorge Ramos, not CNN. Not even fellow Republican candidate Ben Carson. Latest numbers coming out of…

Each year Gaston offers his students the chance to skip the rest of the year and earn an A in the course if they can produce a perpetual motion machine by the last day of school.

It has long been rumoured that veteran entertainer Sir Bruce Forsyth has led a double life. "You don't think he got that gong for his fumbled autocued ad libs, do you?" asked an espionage expert today.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

Experts warn of 'erotic apocalypse' if public given access to recently uncovered ancient pornography. UK government seeks to suppress addictive classical smut amid fears that its potency could destroy civilisation.

You might assume from my presidential candidacy and position in the US Senate that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not so.

Despite their best attempts to demolish the Temple of Bel, the Islamic State has been unable to explode a variety of stacked geometric shapes. Although the historical city of Palmyra boasts more than 1,000 columns, 500 tombs and many coloured squares - the military group has repeatedly 'topped out' to the soundtrack of the 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy'.

An interview with editorial cartoonist Brian Gable When you’re due some money and you’re informed that “the check’s in the mail,” there’s always the possibility that the sender is indulging in a bit of prevarication and wishful thinking. But when you know that Brian Gable’s brilliant editorial cartooning is invariably in the Toronto Globe...

We salute state Sen. Elbert Guillory, candidate for Louisiana lieutenant governor. Within only a few years of leaving the Democratic Party to become a Republican, Guillory is now the official utterer of racial slurs for the entire Louisiana GOP.

Rapper Kanye West used the VMA Awards on MTV last night to announce that he is running for president of the United States. What do you think about this?

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced the GOP was adopting the slogan "VOTE GOP 2016 OR DIE." RNC Chairman Reince Priebus explained the new Republican slogan best summarized the current discourse of the party's members, especially its presidential candidates.

BELLVILLE, Illinois--ACME Corporation CEO Latran Ferrell announced today a nationwide recall on ACME Bullshit Detectors that will affect nearly 100 million customers.  Ferrell said the recall will affect all BS 1000 models manufactured after June of 2015. "We weren't initially aware that the models were malfunctioning," Ferrell said, "I actually own one myself.  But I…

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Two of the national minority joirnalism organizations have issued advisories urging the media to refrain from using the term, 'anchor baby,' which commonly refers to a child born in the U.S. to non-citizen parents. The Asian American Journalists Association  (AAJA) and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ)…

VIRGINIA (The Barbed Wire) - Trying to quell any attempt by Donald Trump to potentially launch a third-party run for the White House in 2016, state legislators in several states are debating whether to pass requirements that candidates sign or agree to "loyalty oaths," stating they would support whoever the Republican nominee is.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Late this afternoon, President Obama announced his intention to rename the tallest mountain in the Presidential Range located in New Hampshire. Obama explained Mount Washington would be renamed "Mount Obama," because he was better at being president than America's first president under the Constitution - George Washington.

It has been revealed today that a collection of audio cassettes seized from Osama Bin Laden’s abandoned Afghan compound, actually contain an alarming amount of 80s pop tunes.

Brett Rogers, one of the first U.S. Navy Seals to enter the compound, claimed he was alerted to Bin Laden’s whereabouts by the distant melodic tones of Salt-N-Pepa’s Push It. ‘Well the lyrics do say that “this dance ain’t for everybody, only for the sexy people” obviously I took it as a sign’.