"Flat footed varmint! GETOUTTAHERE!!! YAH!" Fred Flunkee, Varmint Catcher

The impact the iWatch will have on our lives...

What’s weirder is someone saw Barbara with a Ready For Hillary bumper sticker.

For the many disappointed people unable to get tickets to the sold out Tory conference, Hazel Blears is the next best thing. Despite standing down as an MP and largely being out of the public eye – her most popular move according to the polls – Blears claims to be able to perform a medley of May’s classic conference rants from 2010-2014 and ‘for cash in hand’ will recite her 2015 speech in full.

We’ve got a new darling in the GOP presidential race: Carly Fiorina. Being the darling du jour, however, can be dicey — just ask Rick Perry and Scott Walker, two former darlings who are now out of the race, having turned into ugly ducklings by saying stupid things. But Carly Fiorina is smart, sharp-witted...

"That's the most boring video game I have ever seen. GET A MOVE ON!" Jimmy Popper, Gamer

Torrington, CT – Eleanor and Darren Minson were just blessed with a healthy 11 pound baby boy.  It is their first child.  They’ve been at home now for about 3 weeks with their new bundle of joy and Eleanor is still pretty sore.  

Government announces plans to deploy UK's nuclear deterrent against Islamic extremists with nuclear strike on Birmingham. Migrants and Scots Nationalists also identified as threats to UK security and targeted with nuclear missiles.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Yesterday, we reported that Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao is running for a seat in the Philippine Senate.  But the congressman from Saranggani province has a not-so-perfect record in the House of Representatives. Pacquiao earned the distinction of racking up the biggest number of absences in the 15th Congress. He…

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News loose canon Bill O'Reilly stated the government giving corporations "free stuff" was patriotic, but the government giving the American people "free stuff" was "absolute socialism" and "outrageously anti-American." O'Reilly presented his "fair and balanced" strongly held, fact-challenged insights on "free stuff" during the entertainment network's morning show "Fox & Friends," and railed against Democrats in general, and Hillary Clinton and "that terrible socialist" Bernie Sanders, specifically.

The worst fears of Second Amendment defenders will come true in late 2022, or nearly six years after President Barack Obama is constitutionally obligated to vacate the office, according to a Washington Times investigative report.

From Our Foreign Correspondent: England's rugby team was beaten to a pulp by foreigners coming in to the country and this must stop if England is ever going to win a World Cup again, claims Theresa May in a speech to the Conservative conference this week.

Fearing that her popularity among young voters has fallen to a critically low point, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has adopted a so-called “gothic” look to appeal to millennials.

The Apple Watch's features compared...

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Following the enormous success of the genteel seasonal programmes fronted by two national treasures, the BBC has announced that the latest observational wildlife series will be launched later this year live from HMP Wakefield.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable.

Malala Yousafzai, whose courage, perseverance and philanthropy in the face of being shot by Taliban militiamen for attending school in her native Pakistan has been an inspiration for many, is starting to get on some people's nerves.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the campaign staff of Republican presidential candidate and fired Hewlett-Packard (HP) CEO Carly Fiorina demanded they receive prepayment for their services. The demand cited Fiorina's refusal to pay campaign staff - and others - after losing her 2010 bid to unseat Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), her general mismanagement of funds during that campaign, and "a clear pattern of maliciousness directed at employees" dating as far back as her time at HP.

Frank invents the teleporter...