Two weeks after a draft to overturn Roe v. Wade was made public, the Supreme Court is on the verge of also overturning Rape v. Lady, another leak has revealed.
































































 
Home
World
National
Opinion
Local
Entertainment
Home And Garden
Advice
Farts And Giggles
 

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - An online survey asking people to name who they would choose to narrate their life story — other than Morgan Freeman — received a most shocking response among millennials. Overwhelmingly their choice was Siri. It was a survey gone awry.  

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - He was called the Donald Trump of the Philippines.  He was called the Rodrigo Duterte of America.  Whichever it is, it doesn't matter now.  Both are elected presidents of their respective countries. Both men are considered "foul-mouthed," have been accused of misogyny, have uttered controversial statements,…

I’ve never been good at getting blood drawn. Note here that I am not a little man, so this is remarked upon frequently by those tasked with stealing my blood from me.

As local business sacks regular workforce, local community asks whether 'agency staff' replacements are actually zombies. Claims of all-night Voodoo drums from delivery bays of Dagenham supermarket as customers allege they recognise some of shambolic new staff as deceased loved ones. Are the living dead destined to be UK's new unpaid workforce?

Tom Seether, well into his late thirties, works at Middlemen Incorporated, a company dedicated to providing services for “middle men”.  He’s disgruntled now.

One month after introducing a bill to define "gender solely as a person’s reproductive biology at birth" for the purposes of Title IX – effectively prohibiting trans women from participating in women's athletics - House Republicans have added an amendment that would also ban non-trans women from playing sports.

The ratings for NFL “Thursday Night Football” continued to drop again this week, scoring a 9.9/17 in metered market results on CBS and the NFL Network, according to Deadline Friday. Weeks of fan turn-off sparked by inappropriate protests during the national anthem have affected team revenues and further blackened the reputation of the NFL’s leadership. Efforts to boost viewership will include changes in the rules players abide by on the field and NFL hope’s are that the new rules will spark dramatic changes in viewership.

BEIJING, China (The Adobo Chronicles, Hong Kong Bureau) - The territorial dispute between the Philippines and China is over. China has officially laid claim on the Philippines. The claim ends years of dispute between the two countries over who owns the Scarborough Shoal, a group of oil-rich islands in the South China Sea. He Jia, anchor…

SAN DIEGO, CA - Scott "Fuzzy" Dunlop, a homeless man who has been known on occasion to masturbate out of doors, was "humbled and more than a little embarrassed" to recognize a description of himself performing the act in Golden Hill Park in a post on NextDoor today.

Trump, Farage and Bieber make for three of the least popular people in the world, which is exactly why they might be able to work so well together.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

The Romanian hacker “Guccifer” (extradited to the US) claims he told FBI agents and officials of the US Department of State (DOS) he had “easily” hacked Clinton’s private email server. “Guccifer” claims to have hacked TOP SECRET emails that were sent during Secretary of State Clinton’s (SOS) tour of duty and posted them onto the Internet. The USDOS and Clinton’s presidential campaign officials have dismissed the Hacker’s claims that her server was hacked, as completely “unfathomable.”

Are streaming services becoming so desperate for new content they are spying on lives of subscribers? Man claims that new streaming TV drama series is actually based on his everyday life. Staines woman alleges new 'reality documentary' is her actual life illicitly filmed and sensationalised with actors secretly inserted to contrive dramatic incidents for cameras.

New York, NY-(satireworld.com)

Forty years old. Can you believe it ? It seems like only yesterday, she was crawling around the White House Oval Office on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

The pit was dug so that Conservative Party members could legally dispose of any of their filth which now falls under the expanded ‘extreme porn’ law.

Real estate mogul Donald Trump claimed Tuesday that he will unite the entire Republican Party behind his bid for the White House, including the “dummies” who have vowed not to support him.

When 45-year-old Ellen woke up in a soybean field after spending 36 hours aboard an extraterrestrial spacecraft, she had no idea that her nightmare was actually just beginning.

Camp David, MD
President Obama was accidentally wounded Sunday by a dropped shotgun during the annual President’s Cup skeet shooting tournament held by the Marine detachment guarding Camp David. The President was quickly flown to Walter Reed hospital where he was attended to by surgeon B.E. Morse who said “the President should recover in no time.”

Condor, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

The buying rush has officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Hillary Clinton supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families before the impending mid-term elections.

Yesterday, the Prime Minister claimed she was spending a lot of time talking and listening to God, and that He would guide her through Brexit. Today God went on the record to categorically deny those claims.