‘I like saviors who weren’t captured,’ said Donald Trump at campaign stop, to big cheers. As “The Donald” continues to barnstorm around the country on his self-proclaimed “Greatest Tour on Earth,” he keeps blurting out things that are only hurting his campaign for president. Today, Trump took on his fundamentalist fans’ biggest hero, Jesus Christ...

Pokey is singlehandedly blowing up our comment threads again, which is actually a welcome change from the usual spam. As tradition dictates, most of his comments equate to the old rightwing bait-n-switch. Whether he realizes it or not, the right’s recent social media  two-step is an effort to quell the increasing cognitive dissonance and avoid the whole, ‘Oops, we kind of elected a…

Our nation’s true political spectrum is not right to left, but top to bottom, and Populism is about reducing the distance between the two. My father, W.F. “High” Hightower, was a populist.

Vegas interrupted my debate viewing pleasure a tad, but I got the gist of it. Small government (flashing lights and sounds), lower taxes (cocktail waitress), gut regulations (yellling from the craps table). I can’t stand these debates anymore. Leave me alone, Mr. Winslow! I’m in Vegas researching an important Guinness feature. I like Guinness, much…

by Will Durst.The Democrats are showing fangs: no longer just hopping around like baby rabbits playing tag in a shaded glen. And once again America reaches for the Tylenol after wrenching its collective back recoiling from the wacky ugliness monopolizing the presidential election primary process. But this time, it’s… the Democrats. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. The Mommy Party has [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

There is a rumor he will be part of the torching of the bay ceremony.

Washington, DC—More republicans are crying foul after a photo surfaced showing the Special Counsel, Robert Mueller, leaving a local fortune-teller’s shop on 43rd Street NW. The above photo of a shop, but not PhotoShopped, brings the credibility of the entire Russia-probe investigation into serious question. Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said, “Mueller really has a pair of crystal balls…

Yes, it’s true – the Rock Bottom Remainders are a rock band with Stephen King, Matt Groening, Dave Barry and more in it! Unannounced to most of us, one of the most incredible rock and roll groups has passed before us and we didn’t even notice it. Maybe most of us were too stoned.

She lies! Pastel pantsuits are all but extinct already.

What is America’s busiest multi-tasking Washington couple – Ivanka and Jared Kushner – like at home? Everyone wonders what America’s busiest multi-tasking Washington couple, Ivanka and Jared Kushner, is like at home. Well, I happened to get my hands on a transcript — okay, I wiretapped their duvet and beat Obama to it!

Paris, FR—Shortly after Trump’s unveiling a team of experts deemed the portrait “a complete fraud.” They were immediately suspicious of Donald Trump’s claim this was a portrait painted by Picasso himself. During a press conference, The Donald made several statements that raised questions about the painting’s authenticity. “Many years ago I commissioned Picasso to complete a self-portrait of myself.…

=(A serial book excerpt) Previous installments: After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.

A certain Jerry Lee Lewis song comes to mind.

by Michael Egan.‘Listen, I’m disgusting myself, OK?,’ Trump said, ‘You should just see me in the morning!’ NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Donald Trump yesterday defended his use of the word “disgusting” [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Washington—In the wake of the suspicious death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, President Obama is implementing Operation: Pillow Fight. The President’s plan is to order three more pillows to remove the last three conservative justices from the bench, with prejudice. President Obama said, “There is only three people standing in the way of a liberal legislative nirvana and…

Cleaning off the horsestuff that careless politicos dump on the word “populist.” Being a muckracking political writer often makes me feel like a custodian in a horse barn, constantly shoveling manure. It’s a messy, stinky job — but on the bright side, the stuff is plentiful, so the work is steady.

Nostradamus, the French apothecary, break-dancer and unicyclist, published erotic novels and collections of prophecies that are known around the world. Multi-talented, not only was Nostradamus a diviner, he was a ventriloquist and a keen basketball player, and it is common knowledge that he wrote...

by James Israel.‘We’d rather deal with the devil we know for another four years than risk a Trump or Clinton presidential calamity with this election.’ – Sen. Mitch McConnell. In a stunning turn of events, the Republican party has made a historic offer to the Democrats: Work with them to cancel this year’s presidential election, and they [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked Donald Trump today why he never seems to back down, even after an obvious gaffe. Mr. Cooper pointed out how lately the republican nominee seems to be constantly waffling, pivoting and offending, minus any accountability. Mr. Trump responded, “I don’t think that’s true. It’s not true. I can be accountable when necessary. Most of the…

10. Despot Housewives 9. It’s Always Sunny in Damascus 8. Arrested Dismemberment 7. Breaking Vlad 6. My So Called Rights 5. Buffy the Free-Thought Slayer 4. I Love Lucifer 3. All in the Gas Chamber (endless SS office hijinx) 2. The ISIS Right And the number one Discord dictatorial sitcom of all time goes to:…