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President Trump has promised to personally ensure that the next Miss America will survive to be crowned, even if there is a global thermonuclear war with Korea.
Glider Falls, Iowa – (satireworld.com)

A dog has blasted a man with a shotgun during a pheasant hunt in what has been described as a ‘freak accident’ during a pheasant hunt.
Vatican City, Rome – (SatireWorld.com)
The College of Cardinals in Vatican City announced the first Black Pope of the Catholic Church. There was speculation that they might break from tradition and choose a black Cardinal, but the black Cardinal that they chose surprised everyone. Larry Fitzgerald, wide receiver and all pro with the Arizona Cardinals, was chosen to be the guy to ride around in the Popemobile and wear a dress for the rest of his life.
(satireworld.com)
Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. Since laughter is the best medicine and helps to strengthen the immune systems, some hyenas live to be over three thousand years old, often scaring the crap out of archaeologist as one runs out of an Egyptian pyramid.
A representative for Pop Music, formerly a rep for Bubblegum Pop–and before that, just a fan–recently announced a major change for the genre...
The Broadway musical "Burr", a gun-friendly story about the right to protect yourself against immigrants with crazy ideas, shuttered after a disappointing one day run.
Startling new research shows that stretching is not the same as yoga.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Unknown to many, former U.S. President Barack Obama has filed an oral defamation lawsuit in a Virginia District Court against Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte. Obama is suing Duterte for the latter’s very public cussing several years ago against the then incumbent American President. He called Obama ‘Son-of-a-b*tch.’ (In…
VENTURA, CA - Daniel Fuller’s body was supposed to go to Thousand Oaks Cemetery, but a mix up sent his body to Ventura Gardens Cemetery where a funeral was scheduled for a Mr. Damien Fowler.

Daniel Fuller (dead), “At first I thought it was a prank, but then I realized somebody just totally fucked up.”
Diverging somewhat from the non-partisian Congressional Budget Office's analysis of the bill, which projected it would balloon the nation's deficit by $1.4 trillion within the first 10 years of its implementation while having an unknown effect on job growth, the WHBO's assessment was considerably more favorable of the legislation.
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)
Senatorial candidate Elizabeth Warren got a taste of Indian heritage today when a man in the crowd the ‘Indian Princess’ was addressing removed his hat and asked…’Are you responsible for this?” The man’s obvious scalped head bore the scars of a sharp knife and hurried removal.
Chow Mein City,China (SatireWorld.com)

Two homosexual factory workers in southern China have committed suicide in an attempt to travel back in time. The young men decided to end their lives after one of them lost a remote control to a door and feared the consequences, China Daily reports.
Xiao Hua told his lover and fellow rubber duck assembly worker, Xiao Mei, that he was worried about coming clean to his parents about misplacing the door opener again.
Taking a break from the busy holiday season, you are surprised to discover those pleasant out of focus lights outside are not what you thought they were.
Al Franken, dogged by multiple, mistaken harassment claims and photographic evidence, bravely faced the public and released a statement of apology–privately, through his representative.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - It’s that time of year when TIME magazine names its ‘Person of the Year.’  This year, however, it’s going to be ‘Persons of the Year.’ U.S. President Donald Trump and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte tied for the annual recognition for being the persons who most…
In an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity at the White House, the turkey itself made a speech. The 48 pound white turkey Drumstick unexpectedly hopped up to the mike, cleared his throat and said:“Thank you, Mr. President for changing my verdict from assassination to a merciful life behind chicken wire fence for […]
I'm glad to know it's WOMEN who are responsible for the sexual harassment reform movement, and not the flagging appeal of my aging ass.
In a surprise move, Boris Johnson’s hair has declared itself a sentient being capable of feeling shame and therefore will be dissolving their semi-successful double act at the end of panto season. In fact, the hair, now revealed as Darren Wallis, told reporters that it wishes to be taken more seriously in future. Mr Wallis...
In the wake of the #MeToo environment that society now finds itself, many progressive parents are opting to spare their potential politicians from a lifetime of needless allegations. It’s safe, it’s easy, and it’s guaranteed to keep your future leader scandal free, or your money back! In a world where any touch can be perceived as a bad one, even decades…
In an under-reported story Trump berated as ‘fake news,’ astonished onlookers witnessed the first-ever turkey pardoning of a president. According to witnesses, in an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity...

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