An 84 year old man from Melbourne will attempt to climb to the top of Jerry Hall, in a three day expedition which has never been undertaken before by anyone under 60.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - During a backstage press conference at last night's Golden Globes, Jennifer Lawrence, who won Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy film, scolded a foreign journalist for looking at his phone while asking a question of the "Joy" star. "You can't live your whole life behind your phone, bro," she…

Pittsburg, PA – (satireworld.com)

Rosemary Rottencrotch, perhaps the English speaking world’s most famous tart, has announced her retirement today after a 75 year career of being the punchline and sophomoric foil in literally thousands of jokes, stories, adolescent bragging, and military marching liturgies.

"It's funnier the second time you watch it." Jimmy Popper, Surveyor

NORTH KOREA (The Barbed Wire) - The world reacted with shock today as North Korea announced that it had successfully tested a hydrogen bomb. The thought of such a weapon in the hands of the country's maniacal dictator, best known for his kick ass haircuts, worried leaders worldwide, though the White House doubts the claims.

Observers from around the globe were surprised and saddened on Monday to find that a giant shadow had been cast over the Earth.

Kidding, Bowie really rocked it as Lord Royal Highness in SpongeBob’s Atlantis SquarePantis.

Researchers concluded that the greatest cause of anxiety was being asked questions about their washing habits.

Zero-waste policy: please cherry-pick your favorite predictions for 2016 and dump the rest.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Beginning in 2017, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA) will add a third category to its annual Golden Globe Awards. HFPA announced the new category after being deluged with criticism about tonight's Golden Globe award for 'The Martian' and Matt Damon for Best Picture and Best Actor in a…

Kyrgyzstan could have declared war on Scotland last week after a man from Edinburgh compared Kyrgyzstan's national sausage to a horse penis.

Boston, MA - (satireworld.com)

Recent government sponsored research has shown at least one-fifth of the regressive Neanderthal genome may lurk within modern humans, influencing the skin, hair, political leanings, and mental diseases some people have today, researchers say.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and autocratic billionaire Donald Trump announced anyone who wanted to attend his rallies would need to take an oath of loyalty to him, and either show guards what he called a "Trump Obedience Tattoo" or be willing to get such a tattoo on the spot. Trump explained the new policies were the result of protesters ruining the atmosphere at numerous rallies, and asserted he was "hugely proud" of the obedience tattoo design with its two lightning bolts.

Video discovered on an ISIS-run website purported to be pornography consists of little more than members of the jihadist organization decapitating and mutilating people, its viewers say.

Innocent grizzly bears throughout Alaska and the American Northwest have once again been beset by devastating salmon assaults, prompting conservation officials to take urgent action.

Hollyweird, CA – (satireworld.com)

Adding a new definition to the meaning of ‘pussy whipped,’ actor-leftist activist Sean Penn announced today that he’ll be melting his entire gun collection into a molten blob to appease girlfriend actress Charlize Theron after consulting with buddy El Chapo during a secret interview for Rolling Stone magazine.

Kidding, it’s probably this one.

Electronics giant Samsung has sought to get ahead in a crowded high-end technology market by unveiling its new creation, the first in a new generation of 'smartarse TVs'. The new device has 4096GB of memory, most of which is taken up with trivia and resolutely-held opinions which the television can dispense liberally whenever it senses a human in the vicinity.

Customer reaction to the super smart, 407 inch, OLED-backlit web-enabled cylindrical-screened Hawking3000 has been mixed. Steve Minsky of Colchester explained: 'It's great at first; you actually sit inside the screen, I was hospitalis

by Roger Freed.The New White House (A serial book excerpt) Previous installments: After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.