While Trump seems obsessed with golden calves, he apparently has no regard for sacred cows, even the most esteemed Gipper.

BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  He considers himself a tanned, white boy from Louisiana. Governor and GOP presidential candidate, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, 44, has become famous for a self portrait that hangs in the Louisiana state capitol -  a visibly Caucasian chief executive. In a limited-edition campaign t-shirt for his 2016 presidential bid, he…

A group of elderly Nazi war criminals hiding in South America are planning to present Pope Francis with a Swastika crucifix.

Once upon a Christmas cheery, while I pondered, slightly bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious bottle of very fine Aberlour
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"Tis Ephram's monkey," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -
Only this and nothing more."

Science lifts the veil of exaggeration.

Following criticism from both Democrats and fellow Republicans about his harsh tone, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump says he will not alter his tone one bit, maintaining that what people see is the natural color of his skin.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News claimed it had obtained semi-credible evidence the Islamic State completed a base on the moon, and would attack America "imminently, and at any moment." Right-wing blogger and renowned pot stirrer Pamela Geller claimed she received a Facebook friend request from "Muhammad Moon Base 1" this morning, which she claimed contained the threat to America.

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - The Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) today released the results of its "President Trump Simulations." The university announced that in 97.9% of simulations, any meeting between a President Trump and a foreign official resulted in a war.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Texas Rick Perry announced he will be swapping his reading glasses for a monocle and a smoking pipe. The move was characterized by political observers as Perry conceding the reading glasses had failed to make him appear more intelligent to Americans.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the U.S. Department of Reality released a report that concluded seizing a federal building and daring federal agents to attack you in order to incite a deadly confrontation were almost certainly acts of terrorism and treason. This conclusion was inevitable, regardless of why the federal building was seized.

Following a string of successful blockbusters that includes “Captain America,” “The Avengers,” and “Ironman,” the film production company Marvel Studios has announced that it will soon branch out into the world of comic books.

ON BOARD THE TRUMP JET (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - During her acceptance speech for the Republican vice presidential nomination in 2008, Sarah Palin said that she put the jet purchased by Alaska's former governor up for sale on eBay as an example of her attempts at ethics reform. Following in her footsteps, presidential candidate Donald…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Federal Reserve confirmed the trillions of dollars it had printed and handed over to the financial sector to stimulate the economy since the 2008 financial crisis went almost exclusively to the richest Americans - and stayed there making them even wealthier. The Fed dubbed the unsustainable shadow economy it was running the "Weekend at Bernie's Economy" due to all of the strings it had to continue to pull in order to make it look like the economy was alive and working well for everyone when it only benefited... extremely rich investors.

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Donald Trump can't handle the truth -- that even his beauty queens don't support his pronouncements about Mexicans and immigrants. Trump has made illegal immigration the centerpiece of his bid to become the next president of the United States.  He not only called for the building of a great…

You need to understand, I pay tens of thousands of dollars to hunt and kill beautiful, majestic creatures in the wild not because I want to but because I have to.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the College Board released the new AP History curriculum with changes demanded by American conservatives since 2012, when a retired history teacher named Larry Krieger took offense to the fact AP students weren't learning about the "perfect America" in his mind. When the Republican National Committee (RNC) learned the AP History curriculum also conflicted with the America in its collective head, it declared war on the College Board and demanded it emphasize "American exceptionalism and patriotism, and less of the inconvenient and...

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The campaign of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced today it fired an adviser named Sam Nunberg for making racist statements shockingly similar to those Trump makes every day. Nunberg was fired after it was discovered he made offensive Trump-like statements on social media in 2007 and 2008. Nunberg denied he ever stated them, much like Trump would in his position.

CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The stage is set for the Republican presidential debate to be held at 9 p.m. on Thursday at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. It will air live on the Fox News Channel with moderators Chris Wallace, Megyn Kelly and Bret Baier. The GOP  debate will feature candidates who made it…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Megyn Kelly is suing Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for harrassment after that feisty exchange on live television in Thursday night's GOP presidential debate. The FOX News anchor, in one of the highlights of the evening, asked Trump to explain his often-disparaging comments about women. "You've called…

FLINT, MICHIGAN (The Nil Admirari) - Michigan Governor Rick Snyder's new bottled water company, Flint River Water, has the slogan "Good Enough for Flint, Good Enough for America." Snyder boasts the quality chloride-fortified bottled water is a testament to him running government like a business and cutting costs at the expense of public health and safety.