Kim Jong-chul, older brother of Kim Jong-un, is North Korea's No. 1 'Swiftie,' and attended a Taylor Swift concert in England. By John Glynn, Humor Times.
CUPERTINO, CA (The Barbed Wire) - At Monday's Apple developers convention, a new function of the Apple Watch was announced that could let the world in on a dirty little secret - should the information ever go public. The Apple Watch, a device that will eventually perform so many functions and will know so much about us that it will become the closest thing to a deity that most people have ever known, will actually track and record a user’s masturbation schedule, frequency, intensity, and location.
BEJING (TheSkunk.org) — The recent hacking by China into a US government employee database has allowed Chinese officials to utilize stolen credit card information to make miscellaneous purchases of merchandise, running up a tab well into the tens of millions of dollars.
40 years ago, the Golden State Warriors won the NBA Championship. Since then, much has changed, except their uniforms. After clinching their first NBA title since 1975 in Game 6 last night in Cleveland, Mead Corporation CEO John A. Luke, Jr. immediately called the Warriors' executive office and offered a seven-figure sponsorship to the organization, stating that he plans to bring back their Pee-Chee brand for the team.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and U.S. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas announced his plan to turn the United States into a merciless Christian theocracy. Cruz called his new platform "Make America a Christian Iran," but informed Americans the Christian dictatorship he imagined for America could also be compared to the brutal Islamic regime in Saudi Arabia.
Take part in our brilliant Donald Trump sweepstakes as we guess what the probable Republican candidate for president will say next... Just print out and cut out each line and have fun
"All UFO abductions must be investigated"
"I will make Arnold Schwartzenegger illegal"
"Brillo Pads will be renamed Trump Pads in honor of my brilliant hairdo"
"All UFO abductions must be investigated"
"I will make Arnold Schwartzenegger illegal"
"Brillo Pads will be renamed Trump Pads in honor of my brilliant hairdo"
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Yesterday, the White House confirmed reports that President Obama has been steadily increasing his daily consumption of alcohol since moving into the presidential residence in January 2009. Obama stated his alcohol intake has grown every day "just to deal with Republicans and their bullshit."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Supreme Court Justices Anthony M. Kennedy and Antonin Scalia threw punches at each other earlier today. The brief fistfight between the two erupted in the Court Chamber and involved the Court's 5-4 decision on Obergefell v. Hodges, which effective legalized gay marriage across the country.
A formerly beloved celebrity activist and one of social media’s most popular figures, George Takei, has turned to the dark side, it has been declared.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The Pentagon announced today a new Lockheed Martin F-35 Joint Strike Fighter had lost over a dozen dogfights to a 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane. The June 18th engagements showed the World War I-era Sopwith Camel exhibited "superior maneuverability and fighting aptitude" compared to its F-35 opponent.
New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
Former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State verified her frigid condition to the world with her latest lawsuit. The potential Presidential candidate spilled a twenty-two degree McDonald’s milkshake in her lap and sued the fast food chain because of the burns that she suffered.
NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Barbed Wire) - Following Hillary Clinton's recent interview with CNN's Brianna Keilar, the Democratic candidate faced many of the same criticisms that have plagued her during her entire time in public life - The woman is just not warm, personable, and relatable, but rather a cold, calculating, conniving, power hungry witch.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Koch brothers' puppet Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R) announced his candidacy to destroy America's economy by using the same failed trickle-down economic policies he has employed in Wisconsin. Walker's announcement was largely overshadowed by the unfolding debt crisis in Greece, which Walker promised would pale in comparison to what he intended to do to the global economy.
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