"I’m amazing with a joystick but I don’t see how I’d make money with that skill on the streets."
Visitors to the amusement park were horrified as dozens of hijacked drones began to suicide dive into several of the miniature features in London – Buckingham Palace, the London Eye, Big Ben, the House of Parliament, and the London Buttplug/Gherkin were all destroyed.
He was last seen in July 1987. After spending the morning cutting the grass and clearing out the side way, he took the rubbish to the local dump where it is believed he fell in.
Hillary Clinton has declared herself the progressive Presidential candidate and gone on record to promise that she will only eat a few human souls if she is elected President.
The box-set will consist of TWENTY-SEVEN CDs, DVDs and Blu-Rays – all focusing on a marathon David Gilmour-led session. The entire band, as well as studio technicians, were tripping balls on acid and ended up producing a SEVEN hour jam that has been entitled ‘The Eternal Engagement’.
The study, performed by Professor Ulf Ekelund, showed that the sedentary nature of office work can lead to diabetes, heart disease and some forms of cancer.
Trump went for tests after feeling unwell on his campaign tour, something he initially put down to the stress and hectic travel schedule of running for President. However the tests came back showing that Mr Trump’s DNA is 37% Gremlin, a dangerously high level which will need constant monitoring.
Homeless people across the country have shared their joy about the news that Britain’s GDP improved by 0.6% in the last quarter.
AOL, Yahoo!, and CompuServe made up the three biggest internet companies of the 90s. It’s believed that Verizon must have access to a time machine which they plan to use to go back to the 90s and dominate the early days of the world wide web.
Michelle (formerly Michael) Rowland, 36, will now be able to claim full benefits for all six of his/her imaginary children.
Matilda, the popular tricerabot, has alleged that Sir Killalot would consistently chase her from behind and poke his lance right up her recharge socket against her wishes. She also claims she told the BBC of the incidents and was roundly ignored every time.
The student, James Whatley, had been steadily building the pile of dirty dishes over the course of many months.
With tensions on the grid rising, with just an hour to go before the race starts, Button can be seen with a cigarette in each hand, getting in his much needed dose of nicotine before the race.
Mario Kart GO plays very similarly to its Pokemon GO counterpart: players could drive through areas whilst looking at their phones and race. Races weren’t determined by speed but by how many power-ups a player could collect throughout the race period.
The red-faced PM held a press conference earlier this morning to announce that, due to contract error, Britain has spent a huge fee on Trident chewing gum rather than the Trident defense system it had intended to spend the money on.
With temperatures reaching 95F in some parts of the country, people are turning to desperate measures to stay cool in the blistering heat. But Kevin Prichard, 25, may have gone further than anyone after finding himself unable to sleep due to the humid conditions.
Indeed it was a tumultuous speech from Cruz, who noticeably declined to endorse Donald Trump as next President of America.
Cameron may have left office but his norks are still held in the highest esteem by the British public. He beat Theresa May in the poll 48% to 42% with 10% undecided.
The man, Gary McQueen, 34, had spent most of his adult life working in the local government. It was only when he began to suffer from frequent headaches that he was sent for a medical examination.
Meteorologist Jackson Spoon said: ‘The severe heat that has been affecting most of Southern Europe is slowly working its way up to the UK and with that comes the very real danger of testicular moisture. The streets of Southern Europe are literally awash with gonad sweat at the moment. High temperatures can lead to a huge amount discomfort for millions of vulnerable men. '