WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of Wisconsin Scott Walker announced his campaign would be running a Labor Day sale on all its lead-based Chinese merchandise assembled by child laborers. Walker supporters who acted today will get 30% off all patriotic-themed Walker 2016 items, receive free shipping, and be gifted a video of Scott Walker burning prominent late 19th century and early 20th century labor organizer Mary Harris "Mother" Jones in effigy.