Apple Watch’s “Masturbation” Monitor Could Prove Embarrassing | The Barbed Wire | HumorFeed
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CUPERTINO, CA (The Barbed Wire) - At Monday's Apple developers convention, a new function of the Apple Watch was announced that could let the world in on a dirty little secret - should the information ever go public. The Apple Watch, a device that will eventually perform so many functions and will know so much about us that it will become the closest thing to a deity that most people have ever known, will actually track and record a user’s masturbation schedule, frequency, intensity, and location.

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