WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republicans across the country continued to be outraged by President Obama's comparison of Republicans who want a war with Iran to Iranian hardliners who want a war with the United States. Fox News has led the outrage by calling Obama "unAmerican," "worse than Hitler," and "that Kenyan who stole the presidency twice."

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - So Google is now part of Alphabet, a new holding company that will manage Google and all of its other products. Why is the new company called Alphabet? Google/Alphabet CEO Larry Page says it’s because Alphabet means a “collection of letters that represent language, one of humanity’s…

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Fox News talking head Megyn Kelly announced two nights ago on her show The Kelly Factor she was going to take a ten day vacation. Kelly did not say why she was going on vacation on-air, but an anonymous source at Fox News informed TNA today Kelly was told by her boss Roger Ailes to "take some time off, forget about Donald Trump, and the death threats his supporters keep sending you."

Unfortunately for Saudi Arabia this appointment is merely a consolation prize after a failed bid for Chair of the Human Rights Council, due to be vacated by Germany in 2016.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee somehow escaped from the psychiatric wing he was residing in at Bellevue Hospital. Huckabee announced he wanted to make himself available to CNN so he could tell all of America he agreed with the government of Paraguay denying a 10-year-old rape victim in Asunción an abortion and forcing her to give birth to the child.

Have Experimental Autonomous Killer Drones Gone Rogue in UK? Government Denies Series of Attacks on Asian Businesses and 4x4 Dealerships Down to 'Rogue Reapers'.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Republican National Committee (RNC) updated its platform to make it clear Republicans would never stop denying climate change until "credible evidence" was presented. The platform also clearly declared "the extinction of humanity" as being the only evidence Republicans would find to be genuine.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The latest FOX News-Washington Post poll shows Donald Trump pulling away from his closest Relublican rivals in the presidential race. Latest numbers show Trump at 45% compared to second placers Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush who are now tied at 12%. Trump's poll surge has been largely…

New York, NY – The Jolly Green Giant stopped by CBS This Morning today for an unannounced visit.  The show was already filled up with segments about how to cook healthier pork, kids that scream in the grocery store, and a Gayle King editorial about the rising prices of handbags.

CLEVELAND — LeBron James said today that there will be some adjustment getting used to new head coach Tyronn Lue, the bi…

NEW YORK, New York (Exclusive to The Adobo Chronicles® ) - It's cliché, but the saying, 'Birds of the same feather flock together' does hold true, especially in politics. Nowhere is this more evident than in the Republican party where self-proclaimed leaders and their believers or followers find delight in singing the same tune. Republican presidential candidate…

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a video was released to major media outlets in the United States by a Christian extremist named Sarah Palin, who has ties to an anti-American Alaskan separatist group and a church that speaks in tongues, practices faith healing, and performs exorcisms. In the video, Palin discussed plans to destroy America with Republican presidential candidate and wealthy aspiring dictator Donald Trump.

SANTA CLARA, CA — Peyton Manning may not be sure yet about his future in football, but he’s sure about the car his close…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, excerpts from former Vice President Dick Cheney's presidential memoir titled "Leading America From Underneath The White House" were released. The 33,000-page book absent of pictures and attempts to personify Cheney was heavy on its criticism of George W. Bush, which the text referred to as "King Meddler."

Police Announce Plans for Special Squads to Snatch Cakes, Chips and chocolate from Fat Women as Top Doctor Warns of Super Sized Terror Threat Posed by Female Obesity in UK.

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush announced his tax plan to the country yesterday, but quickly changed the after his 10-minute speech. "My wife, Columba, who is Mexican...er, Latina...whatever...and I have discussed this tax plan at length. There's nothing I won't do without her, as I know how important it is to get a Mexican...sorry, Latina, point of view."

“It’s really awesome because it’s got tons of me in it!” says Matt Damon as he described his latest film to a group of fawning journalists during a press briefing earlier today organized by his production company Matt Damon Is God Productions.

Independence, KY – For the 12th year in a row, some crazy lady in Kentucky has agreed to have 30 animals in her 1400 square foot home at one time.  The animals are all technically ‘pets’ but some are more domesticated than others.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This evening, Republican presidential candidate and Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced he was ending his candidacy to destroy America's economy by means of trickle-down economics. A somber Walker asserted he had reached his decision "due to a complete lack of interest in me nationally. Heck, even the Koch brothers aren't returning my calls anymore, and I purposely destroyed Wisconsin's economy for them."

Pope Francis addressed a joint session of Congress yesterday, calling on each of its members to commit suicide.