Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)

Whenever you hear the left talk about gun control proposals it’s always in the name of ‘common sense’. So we on the right researched the issue and have come up with Gun Control reform that makes common sense, especially after you examine the data on past gun related murders.

Portland, ME –  Malcom Werner and his wife Pippy came to an agreement about 6 months ago.  Malcom would stay home with their 3 kids and Pippy would be the breadwinner of the family with the accounting work she does.

After decades of keeping its true identity a secret, Pluto has announced that it is not actually a planet. Pluto is a star.

OKLAHOMA CITY (The Barbed Wire) - After the most recent defacing of a monument in this town, sources have revealed that the #BlackLivesMatter movement now controls most of the paint in America. The paint hoarding is causing hardships for the housing, automotive, art, and paint-sniffing communities.

"Bringing countries to heel is what we do best," Merkel reminds world.

A herd of whining vaginas has petitioned the Tangipahoa Parish School Board to postpone this year’s start of school. Apparently, it’s too hot for their precious spawn to learn to read, write, and bully the weak.

We do not write advice because you can’t teach stupid and you cannot change stupid.  However, we do talk to a lot of people and have discovered some common traits amongst people that are rotten to the core assholes.

ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to Texarkana, Texas in an 18 wheeler, pick up 400 cases of Coors beer and make a return delivery here—all in the next 28 hours. “We’re…

Standing next to a visibly upset Bill Cosby, a lawyer representing the 78-year-old actor called the editors of New York Magazine “reckless and unprofessional” for their decision to feature interviews with 35 women who allege they were assaulted by the legendary comic.

Microsoft announced the release of what could be their last Windows operating system this week and it made us cry with pride that we have been using Windows for years.

Cleveland – As the waters start to swirl with GOP sharks hopeful to take over Obama’s office, some alarming trends have surfaced after the first debate.  Recent polls show that 43% of Americans say they will leave the country if their candidate does not prove successful in the next open election.

Blaming a clerical error for the initial oversight, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has amended this year’s list of nominees for Best Actor, adding Craig Robinson for his performance in “Hot Tub Time Machine 2.”

In the video, the clearly angry Corbyn asked some question or other which the prime minister answered after removing her owl shaped glasses, popular at the time.

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - A senior official with Jeb Bush's Super PAC "Right to Rise USA" told TNA on the condition of anonymity today the $10 million-plus ad budget it had to make Jeb likable to Iowa's Republican caucus-goers was "way, way, way, way, too small." The Super PAC official added, "Jeb needs to stop hugging his brother George W. Bush's policies whenever he is asked about them, because that is not helping."

Police are to begin a controversial tupperware amnesty due to tupperware users never f*cking getting them back.

An avid subscriber to numerous conspiracy theories is challenging the government’s claim, as stated in countless highway signs across the country, that right lanes actually end.

Wallingford, IA – While Donald Trump continues to strike a chord with potential voters with his anti-conventional political antics, he may soon have some serious competition.  Deez Nuts, a candidate born in the small farming country of Iowa, is currently polling third in the state of North Carolina.  

"I’ve got mad skills. I can jump and run and throw. I can also drink lots and lots of alcohol and still make a woman be quiet or put her in her place. References available upon request.”

PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a city clerk in the tax collection office of Providence, Rhode Island announced his religious beliefs would not allow him to process any tax payments from uncircumcised males. Seth Weiss, an Orthodox Jew, invited all male residents of Providence to bring him a doctor's note stating they were circumcised, or take advantage of his offer of a "complimentary circumcision" if they wanted to pay their taxes and avoid non-payment penalties.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and renowned xenophobic billionaire Donald Trump threatened to "fire" New Hampshire from America if he did not win the Republican primary there on Tuesday, February 9th. Trump also vowed to fire all of the states he lost during the Republican presidential primaries and caucuses when he became president.