LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Realizing that he won't be able to force Mexico to pay for the great wall that he wants to build along the U.S. southern border, Republican  presidential candidate and frontrunner Donald Trump has revised his anti-immigration policy proposal. Trump now wants to sell California, New Mexico, Arizona…

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles)  - GMA News is reporting that Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao has confirmed that he is running for senator of the Philippines, with the blessings of his wife, mother and God. The congressman from the province of Saranggani follows in the footsteps of U.S. Senator from Wisconsin, Scott Walker, who when he…

Government announces plans to deploy UK's nuclear deterrent against Islamic extremists with nuclear strike on Birmingham. Migrants and Scots Nationalists also identified as threats to UK security and targeted with nuclear missiles.

ANGELES CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)  reiterated the Church’s call for voters not to elect corrupt candidates to office. “Sinners can be forgiven but you cannot forgive the corrupt," Bishop Socrates Villegas said. “If we say that corruption is one of our nation’s deepest scars…

CRAWFORD, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, former President George W. Bush promised Americans he would never admit the war in Iraq was a mistake, because he felt "the history book people" would eventually agree his administration's decision to willingly lie about a pretext to invade another sovereign country "was totally okay." Bush was adamant about never admitting the invasion - and subsequent unplanned occupation - of Iraq was a massive mistake only a day after former British Prime Minister Tony Blair apologized for the war in Iraq.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she will dress up as a Walmart cashier for Halloween. Clinton declared her costume selection was meant to inform Americans she sat on Walmart's board of directors from 1986 to 1992, and was complicit in outsourcing American jobs to foreign sweatshops while she actively worked against labor unions.

A collection of items that belonged to Margaret Thatcher are to be burned at a searing hot temperature of 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

MOBILE, ALABAMA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a seven-year-old boy named Jonathan Mercy concluded the American healthcare system was immoral and "the s-word." Jonathan came to his conclusion after his parents - who have no health insurance - went to the local pharmacy to fill a prescription, but were unable to afford the $13,000 price tag for a month's supply of a drug his mother needed to treat her cancer.

MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN (The Nil Admirari) - Today, every Republican presidential candidate announced his or her mother - or other support figure - would stand next to them during tonight's debate hosted by the Fox Business Network at the Milwaukee Theater. The GOP mothers demanded they be on stage to protect their children from both each other, and the moderators, especially after the last debate hosted by CNBC made their precious little snowflake adult-children have hissy fits.

Whispering a prayer for the victims of Friday’s attacks in Paris, Facebook user Nicole Dalton has solemnly removed the blue, white and red filter from her photo, a feature of her profile since Saturday.

Presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, continues to confound Americans with his approach in gaining the highest office in the land.  Whether it’s deporting 11 million people or convincing us the mop on his head is real, Trump continues to win over voters. 

LEVITTOWN, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that it was raining spiders in Goulburn, Australia. It seems the Aussies had it much better than residents of Pennsylvania, U.S.A. A Levittown family says their daughter's Sweet 16 birthday party was ruined when a passing airplane dropped human waste on the celebration Sunday evening. Joe…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles ) - A woman in Russia accidentally shot herself in the head with a gun. A Chinese tourist toppled a centuries-old sculpture at the Louvre Museum in Paris. A German pilot de-pressurized a commercial aircraft at an altitude of 29,000 feet when he opened the cockpit window. All in the…

New York – It was obvious to one man riding the number 3 train from Brooklyn to Manhattan.  He snapped a photo and could not believe his eyes.  Could that really be Jesus riding the subway in plain sight of all of the other commuters?

Entangled in the sexual abuse scandal swirling around one of his 10 sons, "19 Kids and Counting" patriarch Jim Bob Duggar pointed out today that less than 6% of his children are child molesters.

The 'net is running out of space, and it's not due to Sunny Weathers watching too much porn.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Fox News declared responsibility for the domestic right-wing terrorist attack on a Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado Springs, Colorado that killed three and wounded nine others on Friday. The right-wing propaganda network declared it may as well have fired all the bullets at the scene due to its hate-filled, largely fabricated rhetoric regarding Planned Parenthood combined with its fear-mongering and urging of its viewers to be armed at all times to respond to fabricated imminent threats that are everywhere.

Traditional circular baked goods purveyors have worked hard to distinguish their products from the mainstream, primarily through products which offer increased frosting-to-face transfer.

Jenner Wants to be a woman: I want to be an African lion...WorldsWisestOwl.com

Saint Paul, MN – Scott and Marcie Hennings had never been to the zoo with their now 4 year old daughter Jessica.  In fact, Scott and Marcie had not been to any zoo for years themselves.  Scott recommended a family Saturday outing to the local Como Park Zoo and Conservatory.  Everyone was excited to see the big cats, rhinos, and giraffes.  With backpacks full of binoculars, sandwiches, sunglasses, and a small bottles of Bacardi, off the Hennings family went on their adventure.