NEW YORK CITY--Sean Hannity, host of the Fox News program Hannity, shocked his legions of fans today when he revealed that he has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and chronic form of stupidity.  Hannity said the stupidity was at such an advanced stage when it was discovered that there is very little that can…

"Mexico Is Magic!" -- a suggested ad campaign by Uncle Sam -- may convince illegal immigrants it's time to go home

MANSFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a second grade student named Benjamin Boom earned a sticker for correctly interpreting the Second Amendment by acknowledging the "militia" referenced in the amendment. The Mansfield, Massachusetts pupil cited conservative Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren E. Burger, who called the argument that private citizens have the right to bear arms "a fraud."

Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose will take part in a live televised sex foursome to bury the hatchet and make peace.

The NFL season gets underway tomorrow, which means that superfans all over the country will be scrambling to set their lineups for the virtual gridiron. In what is usually a simple game, some leagues are adding in a new scoring option that might make the fantasy football season a little more interesting.

PROVO, UT — Provo Times-Union columnist Jeff Dailey wrote an undeniably terrible column about Cam Newton following Super…

DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - American Airlines (AA) accidently sent the wrong plane across the ocean from Los Angeles to Hawaii, a company spokesman confirmed to AFP Sunday. In the August 31 incident first reported by transportation blogger Brian Sumers, the plane made it safely to Honolulu despite the error. American Airlines spokesman Casey Norton said…

MOREHEAD, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee announced the Confederate States of America never officially surrendered during the Civil War and still existed. Huckabee's declaration followed his assertion earlier in the week the Supreme Court's 1857 Dred Scott ruling remained "the law of the land" in a sophomoric comparison to the Supreme Court's recent ruling legalizing same-sex marriage.

Secret Terror Trial Reveals British Muslim Youths Radicalised by Mad Mullah's 'Radicalisation Booth'. Unsuspecting Islamic men Lured into Fiendish Device and Transformed into Crazed Jihadis!

JACKSON, WYOMING (The Nil Admirari) - Former Vice President Dick Cheney announced today he was running for president and hoped to be the Republican nominee. Cheney said his presidency would strive "to complete the important work started by President George W. Bush and repair the damage President Obama has done."

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia returned to the bench today after dying February 13th to rule against Obamacare's mandate that religious-sponsored corporations must allow their employees access to contraception through their health insurance.

From Our Movies Correspondent: In an effort to save money, the next James Bond to be hired will sing the theme himself, in one of the most audacious money saving moves in the history of the popular spy movie franchise.

Zearing, IA – Phillip and Jennifer Bloom make the same trip each year from their home in Jefferson City, Missouri to Minneapolis, Minnesota.  The retired couple takes one week in October each year to visit the birthplace of their silver screen hero, Vince Vaughn. 

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News loose canon Bill O'Reilly stated the government giving corporations "free stuff" was patriotic, but the government giving the American people "free stuff" was "absolute socialism" and "outrageously anti-American." O'Reilly presented his "fair and balanced" strongly held, fact-challenged insights on "free stuff" during the entertainment network's morning show "Fox & Friends," and railed against Democrats in general, and Hillary Clinton and "that terrible socialist" Bernie Sanders, specifically.

WOLFSBURG, Germany (The Adobo Chronicles) - Apple faces some serious competition for its new product, the Apple Watch, and it's coming from an automaker, Volkswagen. Volkswagen, the world's largest automaker, is in deep trouble over its rigging of diesel engine emissions tests in America and Europe. The company falsified U.S. pollution tests by installing software ("defeat devices")…

Just as his fellow candidates appear to be finding some comfort around the unconventional presidential candidate, Donald Trump officials are hinting at another surprise.  

Colorado Springs, CO – Colorado and Washington voted ‘yes’ to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Other states are taking notice.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont requested the Republican-led Select Committee on Benghazi send him a subpoena to answer questions about the September 2012 attack. Sanders asked Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC-04) - the committee's chair - to have him grilled during a hyper-partisan hearing after seeing how the inept Republicans running the kangaroo committee made his presidential opponent former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton stronger.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The bitter political rivalry between the Marcoses and the Aquinos abruptly came to an end today, when Philippine President Noynoy Aquino granted absolute pardon to the late Ferdinand E. Marcos and his family, including Imelda Romualdez Marcos and their children, Senator Bongbong Marcos, Governor Imee Marcos and Irene Marcos. All…

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson recounted his last days with Adolf Hitler before the Führer took his own life on April 30th, 1945. Dr. Carson told his supporters in Iowa that he had declined Hitler's offer to be his successor prior to escaping from Berlin by rocket ship to avoid capture by the Red Army.