Tweet Tower—Soon after the announcement of the creation of a Space Force, President Trump revealed his intentions to appoint Pixar giant Buzz Lightyear to head this new branch of the military. Lightyear, a twenty year veteran of animated space exploration, has already expressed his excitement and his desire “to protect this great country from all space threats while our nation’s…

by Will Durst.The summer vacation is a time-honored testament to all that is right about America. And often, not less than a little of what is wrong. We look forward to it for months. Calendars have been ... Read moreHow to Survive Your Summer VacationSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

Washington DC:

The prophesy of the four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse is foretold in the last chapters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) Book of Socialist Moron Politicians. The four Jackasses are symbols of the different events which will take place when the American people, in conjunction with the Republican Party, finally confront and vanquish the stable of corrupt, lying Democratic Party politicians.

According to multiple posts on the online social network NextDoor.com, President Trump has managed to slip away from his Secret Service detail while on vacation in Bedminister and is currently loose on the streets of the small New Jersey town.

Amazon denies allegations of involvement in the recent drone attack on Venezuela’s President Maduro. Conspiracy theorists claims that internet giant offering drone delivery of bombs for terrorists dismissed as 'ludicrous' and 'unfounded'. Existence of 'Amazon Crime' division denied.

Anti Brexit group proposes 'Hard Remain'as alternative to 'Hard Brexit'. In event of winning second referendum, Remain Forever movement will demand UK join Eurozone, Schengen Area and open borders to mass immigration. Also claims UK must pay more for privilege of EU membership.

Ottawa Canada
Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.

In a complex conspiracy that even the host of Info Wars, Alex Jones, had trouble coming to grips with, the application to deliver content from his show turned out to be software that allowed Hillary Clinton to observe the movements of every single one of his fans.

Officers of Norwegian Cruise Line Hapag-Lloyd released new information today on the fatal shooting of a polar bear on Svalbard Archipelago last week, revealing that the 600-pound all-white bear was in fact armed at the time of his death.

London(UK)- (SatireWorld.com)
Implying that the late un-lamented pedophile Jimmy Savile brought “joy and happiness’ to underprivileged children in care facilities, the liberal British rag came out of the closet in support of granting ‘minority status’ to serial pedophiles in order to protect their ‘rights.’

Cirque d'Estre, France – (SatireWorld.com)
On Sunday, December 18, 1994, Jean-Marie Chauvet led his two friends, Brunel and Hillaire, on the Cirque d'Estre toward the far off cliffs. A slight draft of cool air emanating from a small opening at the end of a small cave attracted his attention on a previous trip, and he now wanted to satisfy his curiosity once and for all.

WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.” US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into…Read more U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet ›The post U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet appeared first on GlossyNews.com.

Thinking he'd overtaken the tortoise in the race, the hare took a nap under a tree. He was right to sleep, given his Adidas UltraBoost running shoes.

Archaeologists in Wiltshire have carried out DNA analysis on 5000 year old human remains discovered near Stonehenge and discovered they originally came from Wales. A spokesman explained; ‘The fact that people were prepared to travel on foot from Wales to a windswept plain in the middle of nowhere is strong evidence that living in Wales...

Mick Zano’s approach to our current Russian investigation debate, if you can call it an approach, is to list 9 out of 10 unnamed fictitious “experts” from the future who will someday conclude that the FISA warrants were justified. Nice. I don’t have access to his futuristic technologies. My approach is to read the 4…

by Samuel Dunsiger.Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. You’ve seen the reports by now. Yes, ... Read moreMonologue: Sugar Wants to Work Things Out with YouSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

Special Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner
Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com)

The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Enola Gay family since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold charcoal products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational industry.

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)

Ebola’s Lounge and Buffet filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Owner Abe Ebola, who owned the popular bar and restaurant for 27 years, cited a long-term slump of loyal customer support and the failure of promotional material to lure new customers.

(satireworld.com)

Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS