Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com)

President Donald Trump?

It could be in our very near future, but the best part is we’ll have a very attractive first lady who speaks four languages and has forged a successful career in the fashion industry as our First Lady.

Furthermore, foreign leaders will clamor for state visits by our President and his wife.

"Unlike some places, Dunkin' Donuts welcomes all races through its doors without prejudice or discrimination," Dunkin' Donuts Spokesman Riley Lahler remarked. "Black, White, Mexican, Oriental, everybody is family at Dunkin'."

Butt Bandit, former employee of the Canadian Mint steals 22 chunks of gold about the size of a golf ball hidden in his butt.

Transylvania ROU – (SatireWorld.com)
The almost perfectly intact body of Count Dracula III was found in a lead lined coffin at the back of a cave located near a small Romanian village.
Two teenagers said they were in the cave exploring when they noticed the coffin, which was taken to the local mortuary and opened. The coroner found only a single mark on a body dressed in dark clothes and wearing a long cape. It was a puncture wound above the heart. Blood was then drawn for a DNA sample.

After a sleepless night of overwhelming anxiety, Americans staggered from their beds and into the teeth of another relentless assault of breaking news.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - It's that time of the year again when the Philippines chooses its representatives to various international beauty pageants.   As one can imagine, there is so much excitement following recent victories by Filipinas in bringing home prestigious titles like Miss Universe, Miss World and Miss International, among many others.…

NY,NY – (satireworld.com)

Parkland survivor and rabid gun control activist skin-headed Emma González lectured gun owners Thursday at an education forum. Gonzalez is known nationally as being a ‘bald-headed mean spirited dyke look-alike with an unusually foul demeanor on camera.’

LONDON, United Kingdom (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) - The U.K.-based pharmaceutical giant, GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) -- the world's fifth largest -- announced today that it has developed the most powerful weight loss pill ever. GSK expects to start marketing the new drug in the next few weeks, starting in Europe. The new drug, called Brexit, is…

After 15 years of experimentation, producers of the reality show "The Bachelorette" realized selecting a husband by chance worked just as well as a 15-week dating show.

A Miami area resident recently discovered the “couch to 5k program” and has decided that it sounds like a great option for him to start living the lifestyle he wants to live.

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Psycho-surgeons at the Russia Investigation say a succubus – or female sex demon – may have sucked out the President’s brain and laid an egg in the flaccid cavity. So expect more crazy hatch-lings to soon pop out.

Top army officials have been forced to admit that they’re uncertain whether recruitment levels are down or if camouflage is just getting better, according to latest reports.

The doppelgänger of American comedian Zach Galifianakis was awarded the title role in the new Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Hamlet this week. Here's what you need to know.

Today Pope Francis told the assembled poor and displaced that god "holds you in his great hands" and would "try His very best to do good things for you, despite putting you through endless misery, including poverty, famine, and death.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - There were unfounded fears that President Rod Duterte would embarrass the Philippines during his inaugural address last June 30. But nothing like that ever happened, thanks to the new teleprompters purchased by the presidential palace specifically for use by the president. Duterte, oftentimes described by the media…

Following her dad's behavior, Ivanka says one thing and does another.

Millions of people who say they support Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy are heeding the real estate mogul’s recommendation that Americans follow his lead by being very judicious before handing over money to others.

A Brooklyn man's daring plan to preserve the "Necco" candy brand would require extraordinary measures never before used in the confectionery industry.

Firearms manufacturer Glock issued a massive recall today after a man trying to commit suicide with his 9mm handgun survived.

Cirque d'Estre, France – (SatireWorld.com)
On Sunday, December 18, 1994, Jean-Marie Chauvet led his two friends, Brunel and Hillaire, on the Cirque d'Estre toward the far off cliffs. A slight draft of cool air emanating from a small opening at the end of a small cave attracted his attention on a previous trip, and he now wanted to satisfy his curiosity once and for all.