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Fighting back against Pentagon plans to slim the nation's defense budget, a group of congressmen led by Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla., are warning the Obama Administration against scrapping the Army's fleet of battle zeppelins.
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this year, when Columbia Pictures released the film 'Aloha,' Asian American groups protested the casting of Caucasian actress Emma Stone as Allison Ng, a character who was supposed to be part Hawaiian. Now it seems that the tables have been turned. Caucasian Americans are criticizing the casting of a…
OREGON (The Barbed Wire) - Determined to circumvent Congress, President Obama has decided on his first executive order related to gun control. He's ordering a ban on shotgun weddings, typically defined as any wedding that takes place quickly, usually to avoid embarrassment because of a pregnancy.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was going to legally change her name to "Bernie Sanders." Clinton's decision to change her name followed weeks of her claiming to have exactly the same progressive positions as rival Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who continued to gain on Clinton in various polls of likely Democratic primary voters.
Obama experiences orgasm during phone apology for U.S. bombing of Afghan
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump may be having a dose of his own medicine, thanks to Native Hawaiians who want the real estate mogul evicted from Waikiki. All of Hawaii's land of course belonged to the Native Hawaiians before the Americans overthrew the Monarchy in 1893 and annexed the…
Puppeteering duo Trey Parker and Matt Stone have announced that they are working on a sequel to their 2004 cult smash “Team America: World Police.”
Bodies appear on the streets of renaissance Florence
Washington, DC—Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) dropped a bombshell earlier this week and all but admitted the Benghazi investigations were a political ruse, designed to hurt Hillary Clinton politically. Since then many questions about these committees are surfacing. What were republicans really doing behind closed doors during all those meetings with all that Kleenex and lotion?…
The casual racism robot that automatically produces the Daily Mail's headlines has been rendered inoperable after Bangladeshi Muslim Nadiya Hussain triumphed in the final of The Great British Bake Off.
by Michael Egan.Famed lawgiver called ‘a yuuuge loser who didn’t have a clue how to negotiate’ by Trump NYC — Donald Trump says that his famous inability to cite a single Bible verse forced him recently “to take just one more look inside my favorite book, of course only to refresh my memory about some of the [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, teabaggers in the House of Representatives stated they "didn't care" who was the next Speaker of the House and announced their intention to burn down the Capitol Building after years of failing to completely paralyze the government, make it default on its debts, and destroy the American economy. The teabagging members of Congress explained they "were tired" of trying to use "unAmerican and unpatriotic law-based methods" to impose their uncompromising extreme-right objectives on the country, and were "being forced to burn down the Capitol Building by Repu
HONOLULU,  Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) - Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg today unveiled the new 'Reactions' buttons on Facebook which will start rolling out in Spain and Ireland. The new buttons are Facebook's response to users' clamor that a 'Dislike' button be added to posts on the social media network. Instead of a 'Dislike' button, Facebook decided…
Knick and Jeremy chat about the myriad concerns of the affluent, their Holocaust-esque troubles with bicyclists, and when to shoot down drones.
After buying the iServant, a user decides to take a selfie
Disgruntled rail passengers leaning across the aisle to say 'Can't you read? This is the quiet carriage!' may become a thing of the past following plans to introduce a range of carriages designed to ram the point home.
by Howard Zaharoff.  “New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady threw his support behind presidential candidate Donald Trump … [and] says he thinks his golf partner can win… — AP 9/16/15   Kenny: Good evening. I’m Kenny Albert, here with Gus Johnson. As most viewers know, after the long, punishing, second Republican debate, the GOP decided to winnow [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced the candidate was under the influence of shrooms when she voiced opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) yesterday. Hillary Clinton confirmed she ingested "a lot" of shrooms just before claiming she opposed TPP, and confessed it would be ridiculous for Americans to believe such a statement in light of her negotiating and promoting of TPP as Secretary of State - and continuing to promote TPP after resigning.
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) - A Christian organization earlier warned that the planet earth will be permanently destroyed on Wednesday, October 7. The eBible Fellowship, an online affiliation headquartered near Philadelphia, has based its prediction of an October obliteration on a previous claim that the world would end on 21 May 2011. While that claim…
"Flat footed varmint! GETOUTTAHERE!!! YAH!" Fred Flunkee, Varmint Catcher

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