by Alexander Vosh.Calls Constitution ‘liberal rag’ as it burns COLUMBUS, OH — This morning, Republican presidential candidate and rabble-rousing billionaire Donald Trump burned the original U.S. Constitution while his supporters chanted “U-S-A” during [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Six U.S. states and four countries which are home to some of Donald Trump's real estate properties have decided to shut out the Republican presidential candidate by imposing a travel ban on him. The move was in response to Trump's inflammatory statement calling for the banning of all Muslims…
A new study has confirmed something women have been complaining about for years. The research, out of the University of Breast Information and published in the current issue of Big Boob Magazine essentially corroborates the belief that people tend to focus more on the breasts and figure of a woman when analyzing her appearance than they do on her face.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Obama announced the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedoms of all Americans to earn lower wages and become unemployed. President Obama explained the two innately-American liberties would be protected by the TPP, which will make it even easier for corporations to offshore American jobs to countries with lower wages.
How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
Cereal makers were up in almonds today as the government rolled oat proposals to introduce standardised plain packaging for some of the most ludicrously tasty morning meals. The move comes after a review of the health risks linked to the delicious suger-laden snacks found some to be so dangerous they even turn the milk brown.
I wrote my comment for the studio rep at the screening of Macbeth as follows: ‘Tis an unruly film … '
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - 'The Martian,' starring Matt Damon playing the role of an astronaut left behind and presumed dead on planet Mars, was so funny and the musical numbers so outstanding that it was nominated today in three categories for the Golden Globe Awards. The film picked up three nominations: Best Director (Ridley…
Straight from the ‘say-it-isn’t-so’ department, but the folks over at TMZ have revealed and confirmed the super model voluntarily had her nipples removed from her trademark breasts in a 2 hour surgical procedure last weekend. According to TMZ, Upton is resting comfortably at a private resort in Arizona.
Lincoln Police are urging all women living in Lancaster County to exercise extreme caution after 54 year-old Marilyn Barker was raped behind a Big Lots in Newkirk last night, the fourth victim of sexual assault in the area this month.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) declared Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) had tested positive for the Fascism Virus - a mutation of the Right-wing Propaganda Virus. The CDC warned Americans the Fascism Virus was a highly-contagious airborne and electromagnetic superbug with no known cure short of a proper liberal education and being an informed citizen.
ARTISANAL PRESS — Donald Trump’s inflammatory remarks are once again dominating headlines. This time, the reality-TV-star-turned-politician is talking about how, as president, he will claim the extraordinary power to execute anyone, of any age, anywhere in the world, based solely on his personal presumption that said person is a radical Islamist. Far from being a last-resort option or a bluff, Trump says he plans on flexing this power on a regular weekly schedule.
Elf on the Shelf is training our kids to accept Big Brother watching. This is a bad thing for freedom and America!
Washington—On December 3rd a marble statue in Dick Cheney’s likeness was unveiled in Emancipation Hall. The ceremony was a small affair, for obvious reasons, as only a small fraction of our society can be around Cheney without projectile vomiting. Four days after the prestigious unveiling a group of vandals, calling for regiment change, broke into…
Posing for photographs outside a drive-thru wedding chapel with a small child of middle-eastern descent hugging his leg, a beaming Donald Trump-Fury told reporters: ‘As I have always said, sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make. But these investments in love are ones I could put off no longer. So without further ado please let me introduce you to my son, Muhammad, and my darling husband, Mrs Trump-Fury!’
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